Tuesday, November 22, 2005

Where were we

Ok...lots of happenings, let's hope I don't ramble too much.

Carrie's JC appt went well last Wedneday. I don't feel like the dietician taught me tons of new things. She did give me appropriate guidelines for Carrie. I can't truthfully say we're following them, but they're there. They redid Carrie's liver function tests. Her NP, Z, from the JC called on Friday and let me know that they came back normal. She was waiting to hear from the KNOT clinic about their opinion of Carrie starting Glucophage. Z wanted to start it immediately but I begged off until Monday since I wasn't going to be home. I waited for her to call today but she never did. She might have been waiting for the school nurse to fax Carrie's numbers to her...I forgot to send them in.

I didn't want to start up the Glucophage while I was away at a Sister's conference at church. We'll be cutting her insulin and I need to be here to know when/if she needs a correction shot. As it is I got at least 3 calls while I was gone and I didn't even sleep there like I originally planned. The theory is that eventually we should be able to drop all use of insulin. I wish I could say I was as optimistic. Maybe if we started this new direction with her numbers looking really good it would be different. She's still running too high.

The sister's weekend was NICE even if I went home at night. lol Danielle was really content the whole time. I had a few people say they didn't realize I was pregnant when they saw me at the Summer Conference!!! (Danielle was born 3wks later) We had a great dinner with a deliciously sinful piece of cheesecake for dessert. I found out afterwards that it was 500 cals worth of cheesecake!!! Not that having the knowledge beforehand would've stopped me from stuffing my face full of it.

Some of us are/were sick. I thought I was heading to the ER with Michelle last night. She's one of my healthiest kids so when she was incoherently crying her head hurt and she didn't feel good...I got scared. Especially once she started complaining her neck hurt. Michelle doesn't really remember most of our conversations so she really was out of it. I was the sick one on Friday. A headache had me in and out of bed all day. I'm assuming Michelle and I had the same thing with her getting hit harder. I'm just hoping Danielle can be spared.

Tonight Tom took a bunch of the little ones to Lights on the Lake. It doesn't officially open until tomorrow. They had a special day for Tom's work where you walked through the displays (2 miles) and then rode a shuttle back to your car. Usually you just drive through. They had free refreshments for them afterwards also. We were a little confused how it was going to go (I thought the shuttle drove you through it and then took you to the parking lot). I'm glad I decided not to go. It would've been hard to keep Danielle warm that long and she would've killed my back carrying her for that long! Michelle didn't really want to stay home alone anyways. (she REALLY wanted to go and tried to tell me she was all better lol) The kids had a ball but it cut homework time short. Poor Carrie was up until 11 doing her's and she's still not done. Oh well! I'm not giving up family time for homework...especially after 6hrs of school!

I'm trying to figure out how to fit everything into tomorrow and Wednesday. I need to go to the grocery store. Even if I'm dreading it, the crowds are going to be CRAZY! Everywhere I look here I see something that needs to be done and it's bugging me. It's almost Christmas Bazaar time and I need to get to work on some things to sell there. I bought supplies to make Christmas fabric backed cookie platters. I also have to work around Danielle and her needs.

Oops...she just woke up in her swing. Guess I'll take her to bed. If I don't get back here...I hope everyone in the US has a great Thanksgiving!

Monday, November 14, 2005

Get DOWN! No! Get UP!

It's a not so fun rollercoaster ride (I normally LOVE rollercoasters lol) Guess this is the life of being diabetic. Poor Carrie is getting slammed physically. Thing is...I should've known last night's dinner would send her skyrocketing. We decided to have some fun and ran to get Arby sandwiches for everyone. When I was first pregnant with Danielle it sent my BS off the roof...so why not Carrie's? It didn't help that she was high to start with either. Here's how it went...

Predinner...236 give her Humalog (H..fast acting insulin)
2 hrs later & bedtime...348, give her H and her Lantus
1hr later...317
1.5hrs after that...184

I see she's coming down and am ok with that number although it's not great. Head into bed. This morning she woke to a 162 and I gave her the H. We upped her H in the morning and I'd never given it to her on a school day. She's running late and I make her stuff a pudding cup down her throat...hand her a slim jim and a individ pack of cheez-its and push her out the door. I'm now yelling instructions out the door...eat those on the bus! I sent her a indi pack of cookies for her bus home snack (not sure if she has to stay after so wanted the higher carbed snack).

Fast forward to 10:30 this AM. School nurse's aide calls...Carrie's here with an upset stomach and feeling shaky. (lunch is in half an hour) I've tested and her sugar is 125 so that's fine. I explain that she's RARELY that low so she might be experiencing low symptoms at that number. I talk to Carrie and find out she didn't eat her crackers on the bus. I'm really not sure what to do. Because I'm not sure if she's still heading downward numberwise I tell the aide to have her eat at least half her crackers and then proceed for lunch testing.

Lunchtime rolls around. Aide calls again. She ate her COOKIES and is now 102. HUH? OK so she was heading downward when she didn't feel so hot. It's good she recognized the symptoms. :o) Technically she's suppose to get a tiny dose of H if she's above 100 but I'm not sure if she's heading downward still or not. I instruct the aid to skip the H and send her to lunch. Test 2hrs after lunch and call me...I'll let her know if she needs to give a correction shot or not.

Phone rings at 11:30...Carrie is testing out at 178 now. Should I give her the lunch dosage of H based on those numbers. UGH! I'm not even sure what I'm doing. What am I suppose to tell her? I ask her to let Carrie go another hour, then test again...we'll correct after that if need to. I'm so use to the highs I'm scared to let her get low now. I hope I'm doing right. Guess I could call the JC and ask.

Dealing with myself with D, I've seen it as mathematical...no brainer. Numbers high...fix it one way or the other. Numbers low...EAT! With Carrie it's not such an easy call. It'd be different if she was home (and I was SO tempted to run to school and bring her home!). I'm not sure if school makes it harder for me because I'm not there. She doesn't have immediate access to everything...although the school nurse is only down the hall and can be there in 30secs. Or I'm afraid that Carrie isn't going to realize what's going on and ignore it, even though she's proven she can. Maybe it's all of the above.

My mind is still racing..trying to rationalize if what I did was right or not. What to do if 12:30 numbers are X or above, X or below. How long before she'll be home to test and eat again. If I should have her test anymore at school today. I'm making myself dizzy!

One second I'm looking forward to Carrie's appt at the JC and the dietician on Wednesday. Other times I've dreading it. The unknown is the problem. Will it make things easier or harder? What are they going to do? Will they know answers to my zillions of questions?

I need to go to the grocery store, also have to pick up some meds at the Rx. I don't want to leave and be gone when Carrie gets off the bus. It's like having all little kids again (no babysitters) and having to be home for the kindergarten bus.

Late afternoon update...She was 190 and will have 3hrs until she can have anything to eat. I told her to leave her at that. Now I wonder if I should've had her given a smidgen of H to correct it. Oh well, guess we'll see how she is when she gets home. At least she's reporting she feels much better. Poor kid.

Friday, November 11, 2005

Where to start...

My mind has been a rambling mess lately. It's one of those times when I start writing here, it gets LOOOONG and rambling, I give up. Let's hope I can finally get this out and have it make sense.

We got the call we'd been waiting for from the Joslin Center (JC). Carrie's other 2 antibody tests came back negative. So she's a Type 2 diabetic now. I should be excited over this but I'm not. The fact that I'm not is bugging me. I feel like what little control we've had over this will be stripped away with oral meds. Carrie will have to be more careful with what she eats and she'll be encouraged to exercise a lot more. I know this is all good things for her and everyone in the family. Still...it's hard enough for ME to follow my plan, I can't imagine how it will be for an 11yo. Hanging out with friends and them pigging out, having to say no, to watch what she eats for dinner so she can fit in cake. Being offered a treat at the wrong time of the day and having to turn it down. *heavy sigh* An 11yo should NOT have to worry about what she's being offered/served/eating!!! Carrie also has caught onto the notion of what shots of insulin are for. She's asked a few times...can I have more insulin so I can eat this. We hadn't gotten to the point of giving insulin based on carb intake. We'd only been covering premeal numbers with a preset formula.

Who knows....maybe she'll get on the oral meds and her numbers will fall into range. With the trouble I'm having getting them there (we're still in the high 200s after meals) I'm not optimistic. We've just been given her correction ratio (how much her numbers should drop with 1 unit of insulin) that should help.

I have other concerns too. I've been reading up on Glucophage (oral meds she'll be switched to). It's not recommended for those with liver problems. Over the last 1.5yrs the KNOT (Kids Not on Therapy...long term cancer survivor) clinic have been watching her liver function tests. They've slowly been getting worse. Her NP at KNOT was to a point where she felt we needed to explore this more thoroughly. I talked to her yesterday and she said they DEFINITELY need to recheck those numbers before prescribing the oral meds. To add to that she also informed me that her thyroid levels have been following the same trend. It's not at the "treatable" stage but something that they're watching closer now. Oh and to top things off...her lipid/cholesterol levels are HIGH! I'm to the point where I don't want anymore testing done for fear that they'll say her cancer has relapsed. I know it's an irrational thought but it's still there. Of course there will be more testing.

Carrie's had her moments but generally she's doing pretty well with all this. Her hardest times are when every spot she picks to inject is sensitive. After hitting a spot that was sensitive midshot she exclaimed...I'm NOT doing anymore of those! She also has a hard time with me cracking down on grazing/munching all day.

I thought I was doing ok with it all...until I started writing this and the truth came out. LOL I've had a few moments where I noticed I was shutting down. I'm working hard on not allowing this to happen. Danielle is a convenient (and adorable!) excuse to ignore the state of things around here. Her cuddle time is just too hard to give up in order to do dishes or laundry. :o)

Speaking of Danielle...she's CUTE and getting cuter everyday! She's gotten a lot more control of her neck muscles. I've noticed when you hold her on your shoulder she pushes off and stays pretty upright. Makes it easier for her to look all around and into everyone's face. She also is standing in our laps more often. I'm not so sure that's a great thing to encourage. ;o) I took pictures today but have to edit them on Drew's computer before I can share them. Hopefully before the weekend is over.

OK...off to MAKE the kids clean their rooms. We're having 3 of my neice's over for the night tomorrow night. Oh yeah and I have baking to do for a church bakesale on Sunday. Hmmmm....what to make?

Friday, November 04, 2005

And the verdict is....

WE DON'T KNOW! They ran 3 antibody tests to see if Carrie has T1 or T2 diabetes. Only one came back sofar. Her results were the cutoff number (1.5 or .5....forgot which it was). So nothing conclusive yet. Her NP has been checking the computer all day long for the results. She said she'll call us as soon as anymore news comes in...she's just as curious as we are. Dr seems to think she's T2 and chomping at the bit to get her into his studies. During the whole appt I kept thinking...classic Carrie. Doesn't make anything medical easy or clearcut. LOL

They prescribed her Latnus (long acting for 24hrs)every night before bed to bring her overall numbers down. We are then correcting her before dinner numbers. I'm a lot happier now since they lowered when I can start correcting. Before I wasn't suppose to correct until her numbers were over 200 before dinner (only happened once). Now we correct over 100, like most people. I've been told if she is T2 they'll switch her to oral meds. I'm not so sure I want that. I feel like we have more contro with the insulin. Maybe I'm wrong...it's how I felt through my pg too.

They sent Carrie home with this diabetic bear. She's adorable and a very popular addition to the family. They sent me home with an "Understanding Diabetes" book and a head full of info. I'm trying to introduce it to Tom slowly but surely.

I'm very proud of Carrie. Tonight she injected the insulin herself!!! I drew it up but she did the poking and pushing. It's so hard to get past the..."I have to poke myself" thought. It didn't take her long at all and she said it didn't hurt a bit. :o)

I'm also feeling sad for her. Because I'm not sure how she'll react to the insulin and things aren't stable right now. She'll have to miss out on spending the night at my BIL's house Saturday night. She had plans to stay there for her bestfriend/cousin's birthday. I don't think it'd be a problem if I could tell them...do A, B, C and she should react like 1, 2, 3 (although I know it's not always predictable). It's just too much to ask of someone. To deal with the unknown with someone else's child. It's hard enough for the parent!

On Monday I'll be heading into the school nurse with a bagful of supplies and instructions. Right now though I'm going to test Carrie's sugar and head into bed.

2 month checkup

It's hard to believe Danielle is 2mos old already. Other times it seems she's been with us forever. It amazes me that the kids are still fighting over her. They are usually fighting over her before she even wakes up in the morning. They usually end up making a waiting list.

I've had a few people comment on her head control...she's sorely lacking in it. The rest of her body is strong and fine. Her favorite position to be in is on her back, especially with half her clothes off (diaper changing time). She very rarely has tummy time here. I asked the dr about it and he said it's fine...it can take some babies up to 5mos before it's really strong. PHEW! Other than that everything else was a no brainer.

Her stats are....
Weight...11lbs 13oz (birth-6lbs 9oz) I thought she'd have gained a bit more (she looks it!) Oh well, dr seemed happy with it and she has such cute chubby cheeks!
Length...23inches Her toes are getting squished into her sleepers...time to switch sizes.

She got FOUR shots! Poor thing. She's dealt with them well, although she's been pretty drowsy last night and today. Might have been the ibuprofen I gave her afterwards. She goes back in 2mos. I forgot to ask about the snuffiness and felt bad. Then last night I realized...she's not really stuffy anymore. :o)

She's gotten so friendly lately!!! Her smiles are frequent and huge. Her new thing is to stick her tongue out. When you copy her she tries to smile while doing it. You can see the corners of her mouth turn up a tiny bit and her eyes light up.

Today we're heading to the Joslin Center (JC)with Carrie. I'm hoping we'll have the answers we need to start getting aggressive with her numbers. It's bugging me to see them high and know how to correct them...but not know exactly (precise doses and such).

Last night I had a spoke too soon moment. I finally introduced myself to the Children with Diabetes Parent's list Wed night. I'd mentioned that we hadn't had to give Carrie any insulin yet, according to the JC's parameters. We're only suppose to correct at dinner and the highest blood sugar(BS)limit is pretty high...which she's never hit. UNTIL last night. I had to give her a few units before dinner. She was quite scared and crying. I tried to let her know it didn't usually hurt (then prayed I didn't hit a nerve while doing it!) Luckily for me it didn't. PHEW! She did great and I'm sure the next time it'll be easier. She even asked if she could have insulin this morning so she could have some candy. LOL (fasting was 163...not a chance for candy at that number) I told her if we get a plan ironed out tonight, it should be a lot easier for her. I also let her know she'd probably start feeling a lot better (she's been really hard to wake in the morning and just dragging).

I'll try to post an update tonight or tomorrow morning. Need to pick her up from school in about 30mins.