Friday, January 30, 2009


I am finally home. It was a very busy and emotional time down in Florida. I'm very glad we was where I needed to be. But I am oh so glad to be home again. There is so much that I want to talk about but time is limited as I'm catching up with the kids before school (they were in bed when we got home at midnight). So for now I'll just say....I am very blessed! I don't know how many times I've cried or almost cried since I walked in the door last night. Not so much for my cousin and what she's going through. But because of the realization of what I've been given and everything I have. When Tom and I went to bed he held me and I broke down. To know that he loves me and how much I love him. To have him there next to me...healthy and strong. Oh my goodness!!!

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

We're on our way

Yesterday was insanely busy. I did the impossible...I did ALL the laundry! I even dug into things in my room and put a dent into the laundry room mess. (looking for warmer weather clothes) I was going like gangbusters and had to restrain myself from doing too much in those rooms as I didn't have enough time to finish everything. I'm just hoping that I didn't use so much propane drying the clothes that Tom and the kids run out while I'm gone. I'm a bit sad I couldn't stay home and enjoy the empty hampers. Ok, they didn't actually stay empty for long, people took showers getting ready for bed.

Tom drove me to my parents' house last night. Unfortunately there was a bit of lake effect falling and the roads were horrible. I thought we should've turned around and went back home. My dad couldn't picked me up in the morning. It was so late (had to get Michelle from work first) and he still had to get home. Although I did offer to let him sleep with me at my parents'. lol I guess it took him forever to get home. I found out this afternoon that he called into work because he was so tired.

My dad and I left NY at 7:30am today. We are now in Dunn, NC at a Hampton Inn, Sean is snoring next to me on the bed. My dad is laying on the other bed, wondering WHY I would bother to write to/for people I don't know. (he's not too into the net and doesn't get it...thinks blogs are for conceited people who think they are important enough for others to want to read about them. lol) We're getting up bright and early (or is it dark since the sun will still be sleeping?) and getting back on the road by 7:30 again. Hopefully we'll get to my cousins by 5 or 6 pm.

My dad has felt sorry for Sean all day. He kept saying, poor guy, it's hard to sit in that seat all day. Sean has actually done pretty well. He's good for about an hour and then wants OUT of his seat. I can hold him off for another 1.5 hrs with a LOT of entertaining. Needless to say my crocheting is NOT getting done like I'd hope it would, but that's ok.

Sean's been a doll at all our stops. I never noticed how quiet he gets in public. I knew he got "shy" but he literally stops talking and only points. And of course trying to get him to smile, is still almost impossible. Still he loves to interact with people and doesn't miss a chance to wave HI to anyone. He's chumming up with Grandpa pretty thick which has my dad tickled pink.

I'm hoping tomorrow goes as well as today. I'm afraid that Sean's tolerance will be a lot shorter and of course the toys I brought are old now. I don't do well in the back seat (get carsick) but I think I'll be sitting back there a good bit of the day.

Well, my dad is nodding off watching the weather report. I'm not too far from falling asleep either so I'm closing up shop for the night. Now if only I can fall asleep and STAY asleep. Last night I was up at least 3 times between 1 and 6:30am.

Monday, January 19, 2009

Tossing and turning

My sleep habits stink lately, a sure sign I'm getting old. Going to bed earlier then ever means I'm up earlier then ever. I can't remember a night when I didn't have a middle of the night tossing and turning session. Some days I can manage to get back to sleep, others I can't. When I'm really lucky, I can manage to sneak out of bed without waking Sean. (he's such a light sleeper!) So here I am...laptop in lap, white clothes in the washer, a load of darks in the dryer. I'm shooting to get all the laundry done today. I didn't manage to get any done this weekend. The darks that are in the dryer got rewashed quite a few times though...they should be sparklin'.

I got one of my most dreaded phone calls yesterday. It was from my cousin in Florida, her husband had passed. He'd been diagnosed with Pancreatic cancer in the beginning of June. I haven't physically seen her since July '07 but we've been keeping in contact on a regular basis.

My dad is driving down on Wednesday and I can tag along if I want. Tom and the kids want me to go. I'm torn...a week to 10 days is a long time to be away from everyone. I'd miss them terribly and the place will fall apart without me. OK, I know that second part isn't true but... The logistics is mindnumbing, especially since Tom has NO vacation days until the beginning of May.

I think I just worked out the last of the major problems. UB walked in the house while I was throwing in the white clothes. I asked him if he could drive Michelle to work on days when Drew, Cory, or Pat couldn't. He said sure, no problem. Now I just have to get a set in stone commitment from Val that she'll be here the whole time to get the kids on the bus and watch Danielle. (I'm taking Sean)

So my work is cut out for me....laundry, grocery shopping, cleaning, and packing...and none of it will wait...Perfect working conditions. Now if I can just squash the guilt bug that's eating at me... Someone please tell me it's ok to go. That they'll survive without me. That this opportunity won't come around again and I should grab it. That my cousin could really use my support right now and I'd be a bum if I didn't help her when I could. Not to mention how glorious it'll be to be out of the snow and cold for a few days.

Hmmmm, I just realized. Traffic is probably going to suck around the capital on Wed with everyone going home from the inauguration. My dad better not stick me with the beltway driving again! When I was pg for Carrie I drove down to Wilmington NC with him for a few days. We were visiting my brother who was living down there. My dad barely let me drive but on the ride home had decided he needed a break in Virginia. He swore he'd take the wheel back before we hit the beltway...well it didn't happen and I got stuck driving it. It wasn't a pretty sight. Kudos to those that do it on a regular basis.

Well it's too early to be making any noise cleaning, so I think I'll go make some lists. Maybe I'll try to jump on the treadmill, I've been really lax in getting to that.

Friday, January 16, 2009

I'm back

The mailman brought me my new laptop cord yesterday. I walked in the door at 5:30 and was on the laptop by 5:45. :o) I have a lot of things I want/need to do on here (find egg cartons, new crochet projects, circle loom patterns, catch up with my friends, write on my blogs...which I've obviously started, pay some bills...booo!)

Jake is home from school today. He looked like he was dragging and saying he didn't feel good. I've heard that so much since Christmas break has been over that I was blowing him off and telling him to get ready anyways. While I was making scrambled eggs he came up and asked me to look at his throat. I noticed his rosy cheeks and kissed his forehead...he was HOT! UGH! I'd have felt horrible if I'd forced him to get on the bus. Hopefully it's not strep and it'll be gone soon.

This weekend is a long weekend for the kids and Tom (I think for him) due to Martin Luther King Jr Day on Monday. I was hoping that it'd be a 4 day weekend with a snow day today but they only had a 2hr delay. The district was nice enough to call in the delay the night before. I'm still trying to decide if that was a good thing or not...knowing ahead that you have extra time in the morning. 2 extra hours and they were still scrambling to get out to the bus when it pulled up. It's absolutely frigid out and thankfully I don't have to go anywhere...Michelle has today off! Woohoo!

I'm working on catching up on the laundry. I've got it down to about 6 loads which is about one day's work. The kids have their rooms pretty well taken care of so I know piles won't suddenly appear. Once that's done then there's the decision of whether to start working in my room or clean up the laundry room both of which will create a mass amount of laundry. (my room holds extra clothes and blankets which need to be rewashed). I'd love to get our room in order and create a space for Tom and I. We're really hurting on time together. To be able to disappear into a room we can relax and unwind in together would be wonderful. Then again my laundry is in really bad shape and needs so much work. Either one I work on will stir up my allergies and I'll feel like garbage for a while afterwards, so that isn't a factor in the decision. Oh well, actually I'll just be ecstatic if I can finish the laundry in the hall right now.

I don't think I mentioned it here yet but Tom has gotten a promotion!!! He was on probation for 6mos but as of Dec 19th he is permanent. We consider ourselves pretty blessed since the county is now looking at all positions to see if they can reduce/consolidate. Anyone in their position temporarily , provisionally or on probation is at risk of being knocked back down into their old position. In the past Tom's new position was one that was mentioned as being dissolved. Now that he's permanent, for that to happen would be very difficult and we're not at risk at the moment. As the economy worsens though, they've said all cards are on the table...including the possibility of layoffs, so there's always a risk. The good thing though is he'll always have a job. It may be back where he started from and at a far lesser pay, but at least he'll be getting paid. After all, sewers will always be needed, so thanks America for flushing.

OK...I've rambled on long enough. The laundry won't do itself and I have some projects in the kitchen going on. Hope everyone's weekend is a great one.

Monday, January 12, 2009

My lifeline has left the building

Started on 1/12

The cord for my laptop bit the dust. That didn't take long. I've ordered a new one and hopefully it'll be here by the end of the week, beginning of next. I've been trying to devise a gadget to put the cord through so it doesn't get stressed when moved about.

It's funny how we become accustomed to things so quickly. At first I didn't like my laptop and not being at a desk. Now, I can't seem to live without it. I don't know how many times this weekend I sat on the couch and said...If I had my laptop I could show you X. Or didn't bother to look up what I originally thought to because it involved kicking a kid off a computer or getting out off my rear.

You'd think without a computer I'd have tons of freetime to work on my house. Well I did but I didn't. I'm a great time waster with or without the computer. There's an Xbox 360 to play, crocheting to do, circle loom knitting to help the kids with. Not feeling well helped rationalize sitting with a game controller in my hand all day Saturday. My garden on Viva Pinata grew a LOT and I'll be the next Buddy Rich in no time thanks to Rock Band and Guitar Hero on Tour.

Continued on 1/15 @ 7:30am

I really thought I'd be fighting the kids for the desktops while I waited for my laptop cord (it's been shipped USPS priority so should be here by tomorrow or Sat at the latest), but I haven't. Yeah, I'm missing it with my morning coffee. I'm missing having almost instant access to anything and everything without getting off the couch. I'm missing catching up with friends so easily. (need to work on my blog list!!!) But overall, it's no big deal, I can wait. Maybe it's because I know it's temporary. Maybe it's because I needed a bit more time to concentrate on things around here. Whatever it is, I'm enjoying it.

I had to laugh Tues night though. Danielle was driving me crazy (Sean was sleeping). I was at the computer desk chatting away and she wanted to lay in my lap and go to sleep. I couldn't do it! I tried...I really did. I just couldn't find the room in my lap nor type while holding her...yet I'd done it for years on end before the laptop came along. I had to actually cut chat short and take her to bed. It wasn't a huge sacrifice since I'd been up since 2:30am and was fitting to stay awake anyways. (crazy sleep schedule lately)

Today it's frigid out and I have to be on the road most of it. Michelle is due to work at 10:30, Carrie had a looong put off eye appointment at 1:30 and I have pick up Michelle at 4:15. I was hoping I could find someone to pick up Michelle so I could stay in the city and visit with my parents. No luck so far, but I'm still working on it.

Well I've gotten everyone but Luke out the door for school. Little ones are up, need breakfast and baths before we start running. Hopefully my laptop will be up and running and I can catch up this weekend. (It's amazing how long things take without my bookmarks and passwords.)

Thursday, January 08, 2009

Quick post to say

YEAH!!! My school kids are heading home! No they aren't throwing up. It's so bad out that the school is letting kids out before lunch. Carrie and Luke will get out in 10 mins. The elementary kids will be let out an hour after that. Now I'm glad I fell asleep and didn't get Olivia on the bus. Hopefully the bus will get through without a problem.

Now if only Michelle's work would call and say they're closing and she doesn't need to come in. Maybe the doppler is wrong and it's not just as bad down there..yeah right. Hmmm I wonder what Drew's doing today.

This couch is getting crowded!

Eileen and Jake are the newest members of the bucket brigade. Liz is on the sidelines waiting for the signal to join in. Carrie and Luke were the only ones to get on the bus this morning. I'm hoping I don't get a call from the school nurse wanting me to come pick either one up. I called and canceled Carrie's TODAY study appt this morning, much to Carrie's chagrin. I'm not leaving Liz home to babysit if she's sick too.

Our night went fairly well. Danielle was kind enough to hold off on needing assistance in the wee hours of the morning. Still sleeping on the couch with 2 little ones doesn't really involve a lot of sleep. After the kids got on the bus I grabbed a nursing Sean and jumped into bed. AHHHHH to lay totally horizontal. My original intention was just to lay down and spread out for a few minutes. I promptly fell asleep for an hour. Image Olivia's surprise to find herself still in her bed at 9:30. I told her she has to throw up now. :o)

It's horrible out with lake effect white out conditions. Michelle has to work at 2:15 and I'm wishing I hadn't had her call into work yesterday. I could've had her do it today. She has a few requested days off on Fri and Sat so not sure she'd be able to call in before a "vacation". I'll just have to drive slowly and carefully. It'll also allow me to run to Walmart and grab a few sick day supplies like soda, popsicles, crackers, paper towels and bathroom cleaner. Wish they carried a germ proof suit in my size.

Wednesday, January 07, 2009

Who's next?

The lucky winner is Danielle. :o(

Sean spent all day Tues in my lap. Carrie and Luke didn't go to school so Carrie helped me in the morning, Luke in the afternoon. Sean was done throwing up early in the morning but ran a fever and was out of it for the rest of the day. Even today he still has some yucky effects from the bug. I'd almost rather deal with the throwing up to tell you the truth. I wasn't convinced he was done so we spent another night on the couch. I was SO looking forward to getting back to my bed tonight. Oh well.

Danielle woke up this morning and reported that her "belty" hurt. (she tends to add stray L's to some words) I was hoping she'd be spared the throwing up aspect since she was running around with the kids all day. Yep, they were all was a snow day due to freezing rain and ice! I had Michelle call into work. Imagine my guilt when I found out the main roads were clear. Oh well, I have to work with what I know and I knew our roads were horrible!

My hopes of a light case of the bug was squashed around dinner time. Eileen, Olivia and Danielle were taking a bath when I heard a commotion and some girls screaming. Danielle had thrown up and had made a mess. Poor thing, she kept saying....I told you I sick!

So I've spent tonight with Danielle on my lap. There's one problem...when she's on my lap she blocks my nursies! Sean doesn't like his limited access to nursing. My lap isn't big enough for Sean and Danielle. It's going to be a looong night on the couch again. Hopefully it won't be a night that Sean wakes up a lot.

Danielle is a sweetie even when she doesn't feel well. I had Tom pick up a jug of ginger ale and she's loving it. Her eyes are barely open and she's asking for her soda...then unfortunately she asks for her bucket. I'm hoping the bug has run it's course for her by morning. And of course there's the question everyone's wondering....Who's next? My guess...either me or Liz. Hopefully if Tom gets it it hits on the weekend...he can't take any time off from work for a few months.

Now I have to decide what I'm going to do tomorrow...Carrie is suppose to go to her TODAY study appt tomorrow. Either I'll cancel it or take Liz up on her offer of leaving school early and watching Danielle for me. Guess we'll see how the night plays out first. I know I'll be tempted to cancel but then I'll just have to deal with the appt in a week or's not going away.

Thia...I didn't realize you were from this area...too cool! I really liked Lights on the Lake. I also liked how the houses that lined the park joined in with the fun. I had to laugh when my kids became awestruck by a HUUUUGE decorated tree displayed inside someone's home. I had never seen the display before although everyone else had. (except the 2 little ones) Before the lights officially open Tom's work has held a "stroll through the lights" night. Tom has taken the kids a few times. It was one of the reasons the bigger kids weren't interested in going. Thanks for your support over my Sunday vent, I appreciate it. I do think the holidays have something to do with it. Especially when I feel it accentuates the divide. :o(

Lisa...UGH! I guess I should be thankful that this hit now. I couldn't imagine having to deal with (or not deal with) Christmas at the same time. I hope you are finally over it and everyone is back to their normal self (whatever that is lol). I thank you too for the support on Sunday. I know you know how I feel. Although I wish it wasn't so, it's kinda nice to know I'm not alone.

Tuesday, January 06, 2009

Our turn

I was jumping out of bed with Sean in my arms before I fully understood why. Then it dawned on me...that sound...the undeniable sound of a toddler throwing up. He stops throwing up and I survey the damage...a pillowcase in need of a change and a shower for Sean. Seems I lucked out. While cleaning Mr Man up my hopes that he just gagged while coughing are crushed...round 2 starts. It's then I realize, it's our turn for the stomach bug going around our friends.

I grab a big bowl, blankets and towels and head to the couch...the "NEW" couch! We settle in and have a few rounds of dry heaves. Dry heaves are no fun, in a baby they are pathetically cruel. Sean gets mad at the bowl in front of him and wants it gone NOW! He finally dozes off. I sit here watching and listening for signs...changes in breathing, hard swallows, stomach tightening. It's going to be a long night.

Then another country is heard from...Danielle. Luckily she just woke up and needed to see where we disappeared to. As she climbs onto the couch I realize no one put a diaper on her before bed. UGH! She's been dry most nights butb what if tonight isn't one of those nights. So I finangle my way over to the box of diapers without waking Sean who's still in my arms. Then manage to fight a diaper on her. Just as I finish Sean decides it'd be a good time for more dry heaves and then he wants to nurse.

Nursing a baby who's throwing up is just wrong. You know it's not going to stay down. But what todo when a baby wants the comfort of nursing. Besides I don't want him to get dehydrated. So I nurse him and sure enough, a bucket is needed soon afterwards.

It's just about 3hrs now since we started. Hopefully Sean stays snoozing in my lap for a few hours without incident. Danielle is sleeping n...and there goes Sean. :o( Anyways hopefully everyone can get some sleep for a bit. Too bad the snow storm wasn't hitting this morning instead of tomorrow morning, I could really go for a snow day. Actually what I really could go for is a shower. I feel like I'm covered in....never mind. Let's just say I REALLY want a shower and hope I'm not the next victim. Guess I won't be going to my 10:15 appt today since it was for Sean and Danielle.

Typing one handed (and left at that) is hard, so time to stop.

Monday, January 05, 2009

Just to give you an idea

I thought you'd like a glimpse into how things usually go for me. For the past year, I've been dealing with our propane company of almost 20yrs. We use propane for our stove, clothes dryer and hot water tank. Our hot water tank is old and very inefficient therefore we have to keep it turned up high for us to have a supply of hot water. This means that we go through propane very quickly. 100 gallons isn't enough to last us a whole month. Unfortunately our tank only holds 100 gals. This leads us to have to monitor our supply and then ration usage near the end, hoping it'll last until we get a delivery. Most months it doesn't and we go at least a day or two without a stove, dryer and hot water.

I've asked for almost a year to be given a bigger tank. I've asked for almost a year to be put back on automatic delivery. I don't blame them for dropping us from auto delivery originally but that was YEARS was very tight and we weren't always caught up on our bill. (although I don't think I've ever gone 60 days overdue) Nowadays though things are different. All I ever hear when I call is...I'll see what we can do. It's frustrated me to the point of tears almost every month.

We've discussed leaving this company every month. Unfortunately it's not so easy to do. You have to wait to have them pick up their tanks until it's almost empty. Then you have to pay delivery and tank charges to the new company on top of paying for the tank of propane. Some companies won't come to deliver a new tank until the old one is removed from the property. It's a huge hassle.

Tom talked to the company's owner in the beginning of Dec and he assured Tom that we did need a bigger tank and they would deliver a 2nd tank in a week or two. He assured us we'd get a delivery the next day, on 12/5 and agreed we could be put on auto delivery. Well no 2nd tank appeared as of last Monday (the 29th) and we were on the verge of running out. So Tom called them that morning, inquiring about the tank and auto delivery. Receptionist says...I can't make that decision, the owner has to and she took Tom's cell number. Owner never called Tom back.

I held back the payment waiting to see how things worked out. Afterall, I don't want anymore of their gas if this is going to continue. Knowing that we're on the verge of running out though I couldn't let the delivery be too far in the future. This weekend I decided I'd finally write the letter I'd been threatening to do and enclose it with their check. Tom drove up there yesterday and personally dropped it off in their drop box. When he arrived home he brought in the mail that no one had gotten on Saturday. There was a bill from the propane company...they had delivered propane on the 30th!!!! How did I miss that? Tom asked if I wanted him to go retrieve the letter. I said no, you can't (you insert it into a mail slot) and it's still true...except for being on the verge of running out. We still have a problem that I want resolved.

Still I feel like an idiot. Here I was carrying on and on about how we have to watch the tank, ration (and we had been doing that all week!), etc and yet I didn't know that we had a full tank. *heavy sigh* I guess we'll see how this month goes because income tax return check should be here in a month or so. Switching companies will be at the top of my list of how to spend it if this continues. (along with replacing our hot water tank...dropping our propane usage and saving us money). No one has called so far today. I know someone has to have seen my letter. There was no way to get to the check without opening the letter. So now we wait...tick, tock, tick, tock.

First whole week of the new year

After I posted yesterday I felt terrible. I hate to put Tom in a bad light. He is a great man and I love him to death. He works hard for this family, too hard IMO. Yes, he has his faults, we all do. I just have to remember that this situation is perfect for me. We're all given challenges and a divided home is one of mine. Besides I do have hope that the divide will someday be gone. :oD

I finally decided that Sean was too sick to go and talked to Liz. She was fine with taking Eileen and Olivia and asked if she could take Danielle too. While getting them ready to leave I thought...I may as well go! The only thing I'm saving on doing is my showering and dressing (Sean had a messy diaper and needed a shower and changing so no saving work with him staying home). Now to just remember that fact when I'm tempted to stay home for no good reason.

While Sean isn't feeling so hot, his cough was an early morning gunk thing. I don't remember hearing it after his shower. He was complaining later in the day that his head hurt though. Nose wiping needs decreased later in the day too. Maybe he's on the upswing of this. He's a terrible nurser when he's stuffed up. He bites something horrid!!! I almost weaned him last time he had a cold. It's not that bad this time, so no immediate plans for that. I often wonder though if he'd sleep better once he's weaned. If mom isn't offering anything, there's nothing to wake up for.

We had an adventure last night. About 6pm Michelle realized that it was the last night for Lights on the Lake. She'd gotten a free ticket for it as a gift from work. She suggested we not waste it and take the kids on the spur of the moment. I was leary at first since a "winter event" was suppose to occur that evening. I heard by 3pm, by 5pm, by 7pm. Nothing was happening out and I didn't see anything in particular on the local doppler so we decided to go.

We have to drive by a portion of the display on our way to the entrance. I pointed it out and Sean shouts...OOOOOOOOOh Woooooooooow! I thought....yeah we have a winner, he's going to love it! You drive VERY slowly through the display so we opted to let Sean and Danielle out of their carseats. Danielle was gaagaa over all the lights and colors. Sean was tickled with it...for the first few displays. After that...he was done! He was sitting on my lap and fidgeting. Unfortunately for me that also includes throwing his head back and head butting me in the face. Not fun, but I made it through without any major bumps and bruises.

We had decided to get dinner at McD's on the way home. The kids caught wind of our conversation and begged...PLEASE can we eat inside. When I explained this place doesn't have a playplace to run around in they still wanted to go in. It's something they very rarely do, especially as a family. So in we went and dinner we had. When we were finished I placed a second order for the kids left at home and we headed to the car. Problem was...everything was now covered in a very thin layer of ice...a very slippery layer.

We had just warned the kids of how slippery it was and to be careful when Jake stepped off the sidewalk and into the parking lot. DOWN he went, smacking his elbow (he never complained about it though so I think it's ok). As he attempted to get back on his feet he managed to sweep Eileen's legs out from under her and down she went. She complained that she hurt her shin but again, I'm pretty sure she's ok. We all had our hands full, I managed to grab hold of the collar of Danielle's coat just before she went down. She made it to the van by pretty much being dragged. She looked like a puppet with her shoulders being pulled up to her ears by my grasp.

Tom drove home VERY slowly (took 30-45mins to drive 15 miles) We were on our road, about a mile from home when Tom uttered the words...We made it HOME! I shot back...not yet so don't say that! The words no sooner left our mouths when the van started driving sideways down the road, heading to the edge of a very steep embankment and into a field with a pond. Tom managed to correct the van before it left the road. He mentioned pulling over and walking home. I reminded him that some of us weren't dressed well enough for that. (practically all of us actually) He's better to walk and be cold then to be crashed off the road. I reminded him that not only would we be walking, we would also be carrying two little ones the rest of the way home. Needless to say he kept on driving very slowly down the road. We managed to pull into the driveway without further incident. PHEW!

Everyone went to bed expecting school to be delayed in the morning. It wasn't. Oh well, maybe they'll have better luck with the next storm that's due to hit us on Tues night/Wed morning. These storms hitting every few days are starting to wear thin! Is it spring yet?

Sunday, January 04, 2009

Sunday morning vent

Hmmm seems Sundays and I don't click very well. I guess I can honestly say that I dread them....always have. When I was kid it was the need to be really quiet so my mom could sleep in. There was nothing on tv to occupy us. There was also the desire to go to church with my dad that we very rarely did.

Nowadays it's still along the same lines. Me up with the littles, trying to keep them quiet so everyone can sleep in. Not that I want to be sleeping too....that's a waste of time. Then there's the church dilemma. There are times when I have to physically fight the urge to be mad at Tom. To leave me hanging here all alone to deal with the kids' religious upbringing. I know he likes the church, probably even loves it. Then why leave it all to me?

I hate being divided. To want to spend the day at home with my husband on his day off (Saturdays are usually dump and errand day...lots of running). To want and NEED to be at church with the friends. To have my kids be there...that's even more important to me. That they experience it. But with only one me at the helm, they miss out.

Right now I'm sitting here trying to decide within the next hour if Sean is too sick to go to the meeting. Is he a risk to all the little kids there? Is he too miserable? Will he allow me to even hear anything? Or am I just looking for an excuse to not have to deal with the divide?

He's not feverish but he's green. This morning he's been coughing with gagging and gasping. But is it just early morning gunk that'll disappear in a bit? Or what?

If it wasn't only me there'd be no question...I'd stay home with Mr Greeny and Tom would take the rest. But that's not how it is. I'm fighting the urge to just sit here and cry. I guess I'm not winning since Danielle just asked me why I'm watering. LOL And now she's asking for noodles...for breakfast!1

I'm starting to wonder if Liz is old enough to be responsible for everyone. Would sending Olivia on up without me be ok? Or again, am I just trying to avoid the divide? .

Well only half an hour left until we need to start getting ready. I'm not any closer to deciding or being at peace then I was when I started this. Guess I should get off of here and work on things....both inward and outward.

Saturday, January 03, 2009

Happy 2009!

We had a busy New Year's eve. Michelle had to work so I dropped her off and ran to Walmart to grab a few things...the place was mobbed! Then it was back home to make the dessert for our New Year's feast at church. I made a pineapple upside down cake which I've been wanting. As usual I made too much cake batter (tripled the recipe) and it ended up HUGE. I can never tell how much batter my aluminum lasagna pan's an odd size but I love it! It's the one pan I've had since I was married (was a shower gift).

Having to wait for the cake to bake left us leaving for the feast later then I'd wanted to. I'd wanted to get there early so the kids could jump in the bouncy house before we ate. To top it off I got stuck in the driveway for almost half an hour. I'd still be there if Tom hadn't come home from work and helped Luke push me out. ;o)

We had burgers and fries for dinnner which were YUMMY! I haven't had a homemade burger in forever. I could pretty much eat them everyday. Beef is my favorite food group.

The kids had lots of fun running around with family and friends, jumping in the bouncy house, and playing games. Even a bunch of us moms got a chance in the bouncy house. lol It only showed me just how out of shape I am. The huffing and puffing was quite severe.

Tom had to stay home due to being on call. His phone doesn't have reception over at church. I felt so sorry for him, no one should have to spend a festive evening like that alone. I think he was in bed by 10.

New Year's day was low key. I made split pea soup and we had snacks most of the day. Michelle had to work so Eileen, Olivia and I took her then we headed to JoAnn's Fabric. They had all their yarn on sale. My sister had given Olivia a set of circle looms for Christmas and I've been crocheting, so we needed to stock up...and we did. It was so funny, the girls kept saying...don't look anymore mom! No mom! Head to the register! But did I listen...NO! I kept thinking of something else I wanted to look for. Luckily looking didn't lead to too much more in my cart. I ran into one problem though... they didn't have the color yarn I need right now! I'm working on a shell stitch blanket and need one more skein. Guess I'll have to take the JoAnn's ad to Walmart and price match. So until I get that skein, I'm working on a second blanket and am enjoying it. Unfortunatately it means not much else is getting done around here.

Yesterday was the last day of Christmas vacation. *heavy sigh* I am NOT ready for the kids to go back to school. I love the laid back days we've had. Not worrying about homework being done, appropriate bedtimes being held too, dragging kids out of school, dealing with kids who don't feel well wanting to stay home. Do you think I can figure out a way to stop the clock before Monday morning? Hey! Maybe we'll have a snow day. LOL

Sean isn't feeling so great. In the morning he wakes up green and goopy. Usually during the day it's eased a bit. Wed night he started a cough that I thought might be a reaction to the bouncy house (it smelled musty). Unfortunately he's still coughing. Not tons but it's there. Yesterday he was feverish for a short time. Tom's still coughing from his cold a few weeks ago. Hope Sean doesn't have the same thing.

Today I'm hoping to get the Christmas tree down. We usually keep it up until after Little Christmas (Jan 6th) but since we got the new furniture it's been stuck in my kitchen. It's not lit and no one can really see it, not to mention it's taking up prime floor space!

My alone time is up, Sean is crying in bed. Maybe I'll nurse him and see if there's any more sleep left in him, I doubt it but it's worth a try. :o)