Thursday, August 31, 2006

Michelle's first day

Today was Michelle's first day of classes. She said it went well. It was also the first day I had to drive her to those classes. I'll just get it out right now... I AM NOT GOING TO LIKE THIS! I'm trying not to complain too much infront of her. She'll feel bad for putting me out.

On Mon & Wed I have to drive her to class (21 miles one way) at 11 and pick her up at 3. Since I have to drive the gas guzzling van I hate to drive to school two times a day. I'm trying to figure out how to stay in the city for those 4hrs. I did it today but it wasn't very fun and it was costly (stupid Wal-Mart remodeling clearance!) If anyone has any ideas on how to kill time...leave me a suggestion in my comments. If I had a laptop I could go to the mall and sit online. (after mallwalking of course lol) They have free WiFi in the food court.

On Tues & Thurs I get a break and drop her off at Jess's house (7 miles from us in the direction of school). Problem is...she needs to be there at the same time the 3 little kids are waiting/getting on the bus! I think I'm going to have to get the kids ready for school early and bring them with me. Then drop them off at the school on the way home.

I'm trying to encourage her to find people who live near us that she can carpool with. Since I'll be going into the city once a week or so for my OB appt it won't be THAT bad, as long as I can coordinate things. I feel bad because I feel like I'm gouging her for gas money. I figured it'll cost me about $45/wk to drive her (not including what she gives to Jess). So if she gets a workstudy job she's pretty much working for my gas money. :o( I'm wondering if it was smart of her to not get the Stafford Loan just so she'd have some breathing room financially (doesn't have to use it and she's the type that wouldn't). I don't know if she can try to get it now after she's declined it.

I wanna know why I thought things would be easier once they were adults!

Tuesday, August 29, 2006

Dr visits

Danielle is still sick. Dr's office called Monday to say she tested positive for a germ she could fight off herself. BUT if she was still sick, the dr would write a script for her. I opted for the medicine. As night came on she seemed on the verge of being dehyrdrated. She wasn't pee'ing a lot and I wasn't seeing too many tears. She wasn't falling into a sound sleep, her and I spent the night in the recliner so Tom could get some sleep. She nursed the whole night but I'm not sure how much was nursing or just using me as a pacifier. I debated on taking her to the ER in the middle of the night but thought I'd wait it out until morning. In the morning her mouth was dry except for her tongue. She started throwing up and my decision was made....we were going back in. Her appt wasn't until 1:45 and I kept trying to decide if I should ignore it and just go right in or wait. I waited.

True to form by the time we got into the drs she was starting to turn around. Her fever was gone and even a bit low. While getting weighed I could smell that she'd pee'd a decent amount. And wouldn't you know it...she had tears when she got mad. By the end of the appt she was freely crying tears, her nose was running a teeny bit (clear), she was waving and saying bye-bye to everyone and no one. She even managed a cute face and a smile for the nurses before we walked out the door.

When we got home she was interacting with the kids, stood on her own and crawled across the floor...things she hadn't really done since Saturday. Let's just hope that this is the end of it and no one else gets it. School starts in 8 days, wouldn't be fun to miss the first week of school because of a fever.

My turn...

I called the OBs office on Monday and was given a 2:00 appt. I told them I needed new meds but they must not have heard me. They'd scheduled a confirmation only appt. My blood pressure was high.... 16X/94. We compared my cuff to their's and it was comparable.... 16X/98. My weight was 205, not sure what it was at my last visit in Dec. After giving a urine sample the nurse came back and told me I was really pg! She told me for a minute she thought I was wrong and it was negative. It took a while to show. The dr stuck his head in the test room while she was doing it, said I see a line...it's positive! They made me an appt for my initial prenatal checkup next Thursday, congratulated me and started to send me on my way. I started telling the nurse about what meds I used last time and needed to be on now. Also what refills of things I'll stay on I'll need. After hearing everything she decided I should talk directly to the dr so stuck me in a room.

The dr's wife works in the office also as a Physician Assistant. She came in to tell me that my test was positive and asked if it was a good thing. My first thought was to become offended but I didn't. I told her yes and the kids were ecstatic. She then explained that earlier in the day she'd congratulated someone who'd just gotten a pos test and it WASN'T a good thing. She was trying to avoid that happening again.

Dr came in and we talked for a while. I told him my sugar levels have been fine until this weekend (got a 126 fasting Monday morning). He hmmmm'ed and wondered how it knew I was pg. So at 5wks I'm on insulin again, switched over to labetalol, still on the water pill and potassium (water pill leaches potassium out). When I asked for the potassium he turned to me and said....you really take those things? No one ever takes the potassium. I said yep, it's easier then trying to fit a whole banana into my diet. So now I have to track my sugar levels and bring in my logbook next week. The fun begins!

Oh, Jake and Carrie have really cheap digital cameras. They took some pictures last week and I just found this cute one of Danielle I thought I'd share. She's indignant that there's a watermelon seed on her nose and no one will do anything (or let her do anything) about it. lol

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

Sunday, August 27, 2006

A little preview

Today was Tom's dad's birthday party (he's turning 70 on the 29th). Everyone went but Danielle and I. If she has roseola or strep she's contagious to the little kids. She's still running a fever too...day 5. I'm not liking this one bit! It brings about flashbacks of Carrie and thoughts of cancer.

The preview is of what my weekdays should be like soon...after school starts. Well that's AFTER we drive Michelle to classes in the morning. So it won't be all day long. You'd think I could get a bunch of stuff done...WRONG! I didn't get a stinking thing done. Since she's feverish all she wants to do is nurse and be held. I JUST (4.5hrs later...they left at 1) managed to lay her down without her waking. Instead of doing some work I grabbed some leftover porkchops and sat down here for a second. Don't feel too bad for me though. I managed to have fun while babying my baby. I'm pretty good at nursing, while cuddling the baby and playing X-box at the same time. lol I've started a game of Fable.

After everyone left I heard rustling against the back screen of the french doors. It was Penny the pigeon trying to get in. She's been seen on our roof a lot but was missing most of the evening last night. While out for a walk the kids spotted her 2 houses down on their roof. I'm not sure if she came back last night or early this morning but she was on our roof when I got up at 7:30. I propped open the back door. Before long she was walking across the kitchen floor then fluttered into the playpen. (scared Danielle) I put some fresh water and feed in there. I still haven't seen her drinking but she sure is eating. Right now she's roosting ontop of the french door.

I've been thinking about my MIL a lot since I found out I was pg. She was always so excited about her grandbabies. She loved to brag how many she had (this'll be #47). This baby'll be the first one to not have grandma here when it's born. :o(

I think being pg has had a healing affect on a lot of us. While it's sad that life goes on without MIL here and it doesn't seem right. The fact that even in such saddness life goes on is a good thing to know. The phrase "funeral baby" keeps popping in my head although that's a bit crass. In truth though that's what it is....a baby conceived during the depths of mourning because of a funeral.

I will be calling the dr tomorrow and trying to get in ASAP. My blood pressure has been consistantly high. It doesn't help that I'm not taking my meds. Part of me wants to avoid going in so I don't get "in trouble" for being so stupid. I know though that I have to get this under control. I seem to have misplaced my glucometer somehow. I have Carrie's here but I can't use it or it'll mess up her numbers/data for the study when the clinic downloads it. When everyone was leaving today I got really aggitated and shaky. I'm pretty sure my sugar bottomed out, but don't worry...I found a box of donuts under the front seat of the van (thanks Drew! lol) Tom was concerned and told me to calm down. I told him I just needed to eat a donut. ;o) It did help. I just wish I had the numbers around to see what was going on.

Well now that my porkchops have been eaten, it's time to make it look like I got something done around here. Hopefully Danielle will cooperate.

Saturday, August 26, 2006

It's back!

First, THANK YOU for all the excited well wishes at our news. It's really appreciated. While out at WM on Wed I bought an equate +/- test and got a + so it's official! I'd have bought more dollartree tests but figured it was cheaper to spend $4 for the equate then to take all the kids into the dollar store. lol

Olivia had a dentist appt on Friday and then we ran some errands. While out my cellphone rang. It was Liz letting me know that Penny the Pigeon is back! It spends most of it's time on the roof. Saturday morning Tom sat on the backsteps drinking his coffee. The pigeon kept coming in close and then fly away from him. Tom decided to prop open the back door to see what would happen.

Penny landed on the stairs near Tom then hopped up onto the threshhold and into the kitchen. Once in the kitchen he flew into the playpen and waited. Tom put the container of seed in there and Penny pecked away for a looong time.

Tom and I had to run out the door for an errand. While we were away the cat happened to walk in the house, startling the pigeon. Penny jumped up and started flying around the house. The kids got worried for her and opened the door, which she flew out of. So she's on the roof right now. I need a revolving pigeon door! ;o) I'll be contacting the club secretary again later.

Danielle is still running a fever...day 4 now. Last night just as chat was ending she woke up burning up and miserable. I slept (not sure if I really should use that word in this sentence) on the couch with a very miserable baby. We didn't get a ton of sleep.

On the way home from running errands this morning I decided she was acting a lot sicker then she had all week. I called the dr and got her an appt. We rushed home, I dropped off Tom and my FIL's birthday cake and went to the dr appt. I was almost 20mins late but "luckily" they were booked solid and running behind (office hrs end at noon). As we sat there waiting for our turn...Danielle's fever broke, she started perking up...playing and talking, she started breaking out with bumps before my eyes. I pointed them out to the dr and she thinks it's roseola. I asked about chicken pox and she said same treatment, just a different note in the chart...so watch it. If the bumps get fluid filled then chicken pox, if not, roseola. Either way we've been banned from FIL's birthday party tomorrow. Oh yeah, and her throat was red so we did a throat culture, so waiting on that before deciding on meds.

Nice birthday present huh? YEP! TODAY is Danielle's 1st birthday. I can't believe she's a year old already. Seems like just yesterday I was pg. Because she's sick we're keeping it pretty low key. Jake is making brownies while I write this. No special dinner like the older kids usually get. (we're having grilled pork chops) I have a few presents stashed away for her in the closet. Tom bought her a mylar balloon while we were out. Unfortunately it flew out the open front door a while ago. Danielle's birth story

On Wednesday, Drew received his letter of entrance from a community college in the next county over. He called the financial aid office and found out his aid's coming and covers it (stafford loan will help also). He was pretty ecstatic and then the phone rang again. The Marina where his band played last summer had a wedding and for some reason they didn't have a band...could Drew's band play this Saturday afternoon. They said yes. About noon on Friday his phone rang. A bandmates sister was at work. They had no band for the night and wanted to know if they wanted to play that evening. So they did. LOL

I'm starting to feel a bit icky. I'm constantly hungry with a mix of nausea mixed in. My blood sugars have been good this time. My blood pressure is a different story. I have to admit I haven't been great about taking my meds, which I can't take while pg anyways. On Monday I'll call the dr's and try to get in ASAP. This pg is going to be interesting.

Friday, August 25, 2006

And just when you thought

When you thought the day couldn't get anymore exciting. I get to tell you that I sent Tom an email at work today. I hear you all thinking. Big whoop! What you don't know is that in that email was a link to this picture....



Yep that's TWO lines there. I'm pregnant! Due 4/30/07 or so...probably be induced mid April.

My cycles been off a bit going from 30 - 37 days in length lately. I was on cd32 when I tested. I tested with FMU and it took a while but a faint pink line showed within the first 3 mins. I put it away in a drawer not really believeing it (timing for it to really be positive is all flooey). I looked at it a few hours later and I could still see the line but it changed...it looked greyish, like a shadown. I thought...evap line for sure. All of a sudden I had to potty again so I grabbed my last test. This time the line showed up quicker, pinker and it stayed! (that's the pic above). I hadn't really notice pregnancy symptoms until after the test, then I was shaking and felt like I was going to barf. Needless to say it was pregnancy but not symptom related. I probably would've taken more tests today but the dollartree only had 2 tests on the shelf last night so I had to settle for that. lol

There was a minor glitch with my email to Tom this afternoon. The security settings on his work computers wouldn't let him open the link to my picture. He had to wait until he got home to see what was so interesting that I'd want to share. The waiting was KILLING me! As soon as he walked in the door, I showed him the pic on our computer. He couldn't figure out what it was! I had "hidden" the test so the kids wouldn't find it. I handed him the case I had it, he pulled it out, looked at it and asked...What is this? Like he'd never seen one before! ROFL! Then when he realized WHAT it was he asked WHO'S is it? over and over.

Since we hadn't told the kids yet and we were trying to be discreet I pushed Tom out the front door so we could talk about it. He claimed there wasn't 2 lines until he got outside and could see it in the sunlight. (think it was more unbelief then partial blindness) He was shocked yet happy. I think that's a great response from someone who said we were DONE after #9 was born. (although I know he wasn't so adamant about it after Danielle was born)

After we talked I went into the house and asked Michelle and Liz if they wanted to see the picture that Daddy couldn't figure out. They both said yes. Liz kept saying...who's is that...just like her father. Michelle kept telling her...it's a pg test. Not what she was asking Michelle. lol Eventually a few of the little ones caught on that there was something exciting being discussed at the compture. Within minutes they'd figured it out, spread the word down the hall and were dancing around. Consider everyone who was here happy. Val and the 2 older boys weren't here so their reactions were a bit more reserved (haven't talked directly to Val, Liz IM'ed her the news).

After a while today I got to thinking about later on in this pregnancy. It's going to be interesting, especially if I get put on bedrest again. I'm not going to have anyone around to help me during the day since everyone will be in school. Liz suggested she could skip the last month or so of school...yeah right. I suggested I try to be induced during spring break...woooohooooo! Hmmm I just realized that Tom will have to save time from THIS year so he'll have time to take when the baby is born. His vacation calendar year starts on May 4th. Like I said...this is going to be interesting.

PS...not sure about my blood pressure but my glucose has been at great levels so far! With Danielle I needed insulin by the time I hit 5wks (I'm 4wks and 3 days now).

WE'RE GONNA HAVE A BABY!!!

It's my Friday

Yep two weeks has flown by and it's my turn to contribute over at Largerfamilies.com

This week's topic is Back to School...my favorite subject...NOT!

It's THAT time of the year again!

Our guest has left the building.

Penny the pigeon (as the came to call her...don't ask me why) has flown the coop. She did really well in the playpen, so I heard. I was out school shopping with a huge gang of kids. We got home at 8pm and I saw she was getting antsy. You can't release them at night because they can't see well, so decided to contact our contact person and see if a Thurs morning release was ok.

Drew told me that the contact called while I was shopping and they couldn't find a flyer near us. That perhaps we could go to a feed store and see if they knew anyone. 300 miles was way too far for them to drive for a wayward bird. I wasn't positive how much of a negative spin was Drew's or the contacts. I decided that Tom should call both the contact and the bird owner at 10pm. He got answering machines at both places.

I decided then and there that I'd wait ONE more day to hear from them and then we were going to attempt to release the bird on Friday morning...contact or no contact made. The bird was just getting too active for my liking. Besides, I was getting hit with allergies big time (bird dander is one of the WORSE allergens).

I freshed up the cage and the supplies Thursday morning. Penny was acting pretty cagey, trying to stay away from me, pacing around on the opposite side of the playpen, etc. There was no way we could wait more then one more day. This bird wants to go!

Thursday afternoon Olivia asked if she could peel back the sheet off the top of the playpen and look inside. I gave my ok, which maybe I shouldn't have. Penny immediately jumped onto the siderail of the playpen and then attempted to fly onto my kitchen fan lights. It wasn't pretty. I told the kids to open the doors, that mabye the bird would head to toward the fresh air instead of a wall or closed window. He ended up ontop of the back door but not out it. Then flew into the livingroom and was flapping against the front window screen. If I didn't do something he was going to get hurt. I gave Danielle to the nearest kid, caught the pigeon and went out the front door. I put him on the front porch railing and he immediately took flight.

He flew in 2 HUGE counter clockwise circles over our house and the lot across the street. On the second pass over the house he switched directions and started heading north/northeast. We haven't seen him since. I hope we did the right thing and he makes it back home soon (they can easily fly 300 miles a day).

The contact person called during the evening, he never got Tom's message last night. I told him what happened and he said good...hopefully he'll find his way home. He thanked me for taking care of it. I gave him my email addy and asked if he'd let me know if and when it arrives home. So hopefully in the next week I'll have an update.

Bye Penny! Fly home safely! You were an exciting addition to our family, even if it was for only a few short days. There'll be stories told about you for a long time.

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

An unexpected guest

Monday was a much better day. I actually worked in my bedroom for a while! :o) Doing the work caused my allergies to flare up. I woke up this morning with a raging sinus headache. Luckily a hot shower loosened things up and it isn't bothering me so much.

I'd told the kids if they did some work in the morning, we'd go into the city and go shopping (and run errands). Val and I cleaned out the van while Liz and Eileen with other kids helping here or there cleaned up the kitchen and livingroom floor. Michelle headed down into the basement with Janna to try to clear up the laundry room floor. I ended up down there helping after noon. We made quite a bit of headway but now I have TONS of laundry waiting for me.

While we were working in the cellar the kids came running down yelling something about a bird being in the house. I ran upstairs expecting to see a repeat of when a hummingbird came in. Instead I see a docile pigeon sitting by my front door. The kids pointed out the bands on it's leg...this was no ordinary pigeon. I wondered if it was a homing pigeon.

Not wanting it to freak out in my house I coaxed it out the front door. It was then that I realized it was exhausted and was getting off the ground when it tried to fly. I decided it had to be brought in the house or it'd become cat food. While he was sitting amongst my flower garden I had the kids keep it safe from cats and I jumped online.

It was a racing/homing bird. I ended up going the American Racing Pigeon Union where I learned how to read the markings on it's band. There was also a page on how to care for a lost bird. I brought out a bowl of water for the bird to drink from and he did. Then I had the kids go get some grains.....they came out with yellow split peas which were a bit too big. I sent them in for the red lentils and some rice and it seemed to do the trick. As soon as I had attempted to handfeed the bird it allowed me to pick it up and into the house we went.

I emptied out the Graco pack n play that was setup in the kitchen, lined it with cardboard (all our newspaper is gone!?!), gave it a bowl of water and more rice and lentils. Then we covered it with a fitted twin sheet. The pigeon ate and ate, it didn't drink too much since it kept knocking over the water we gave it.

I found out what the markings meant on the band and who to contact for the bird. It's from a club in RHODE ISLAND! The little guy is far far from home. The kids are full of questions...does it have a name? how far has it flown? can we keep it? lol I called the contact person who was at work. He called me back about 9pm.

The pigeon is a bit more energetic this evening. We were out shopping and stopped by the pet store for canary feed and gravel/minerals. He hasn't eaten them yet. Instead after I removed the sheet from the pack n play he decided it was a lame place to be. He jupmed out and is now roosting ontop of my french door curtain rod.

I was wondering if it would be ok to release it in the morning and asked the contact person. He was worried that it was still too weak to make it home safely. He said he would try to find a flyer who lives near me and would be willing to nurse it back to health so it can return home. He's also going to contact the owner of the bird. It seems since the band is dated 2005 and not 2006 that this little guy has been missing for a while. Maybe from a race out of Ohio last year!!! So right now I'm waiting for a few phone calls on how to proceed.

The kids are enjoying him being here. It's making me consider getting birds again. We use to own a pair of budgies when the older kids were little. Today at the pet store I was admiring a pair of beautifully colored birds that looked to be from the finch family.

I don't mind him being here but I'm afraid he'll get hurt if he tries to fly around my house. There's too many things for him to fly into. I'll try to get him off the curtain rod and back into the playpen before bed tonight.

"As the Pigeon Flies" will be continued tomorrow.

OK...I lied

Last entry I said I was going to get something done. Only thing I managed to get done was to shut down completely and climb into bed for a while. Things were not going ok. Tom chose to stay outside and away from the situation at hand.

Sunday I ran up to the campgrounds, helped the girls pack up their site and brought home their stuff. They had to be out of their site by 11 but wanted to stay the day at the beach. With me getting their things they were free to enjoy the beach for the day. Janna's mom picked them up in the evening.

When I got back from the campgrounds Tom was working in the kitchen. I started working alongside him and said...we need to talk. He agreed so we headed outside for a few hour long discussion. Things are at a really good place right now. :o) We hung out together most of the day. It's nice to see the spark back. I'd REALLY like it if we could find a way to go out alone. It won't happen this week since Tom's on call. Next week is dr appts, getting ready for school and church activities.

Saturday, August 19, 2006

A MUCH better day!

Thanks for the hugs, it helps. Friday was a much better day. We were busy but didn't seem to accomplish too much here. Most of it was the girls getting ready for their camping trip. We headed out the door about 3'ish, got to the campgrounds at 3:15, signed into the site and set up their tent. By the time we were done it was going on 5 and I was drenched in sweat. The little ones wanted to go to the beach. I agreed even though I hadn't bothered to bring beach clothes.

We stayed about half an hour and the kids had fun. Danielle was loving just sitting on the shore, letting the waves break over her legs. A few times she started to crawl into the lake. She didn't have much crawling space before it'd be over her face, so there wasn't too much crawling getting done. The kids dug her her own personal pool to sit and play in. She stayed in that for the rest of the time. By the time we were ready to leave the girls had walked from their site down to the beach. I gave them the don't advertise you're staying overnight or where your site is lecture. Told them to call me ANYTIME if they needed me...I'm right down the road. Made sure they had what they needed and then took the little ones home. They were a bit disappointed to miss out on playing at the playground. I just wanted to go home, so was a mean mom and said no.

After the kids went to bed Tom and I had a "discussion" for quite a while. He realizes he was rude to me the day before. He said it's how he is, sees something and just starts talking about it. He'd seen the porkchops on the table and that they had to be put away for started talking about them.

I pointed out that I was also upset because he knew what he'd done, didn't check to see if I was ok after I stormed off, and didn't apologize for doing what he did. I also pointed out that I seem to be one of the few people he does this to. (he says I'm not but I disagree) We seem to go through cycles like this on a regular basis. I feel ignored, neglected, or dissed and blow up. He repents and changes for a while. Old habits start showing up again I get sick of it and blow up again. He's really been in a rotten mood lately. I feel bad for not cutting him some slack since I know he's still grieving...so am I. I'm not sure if anything was resolved. It's a bit frosty around here still, I'll talk to him later today and try to defrost things. Although part of me wishes I didn't have to be the one to "take the first step". I know that I'm the only one I can control in this. If I want things to improve I've got to be willing to put aside the "you owe me and need to start the work on this" and do what needs to be done. It's not good for anyone here to have things so off.

I've been slow to get going today but at least I made a list. LOL The list was room by room of both things that need to be done now (basic cleaning), deep cleaning things and little projects waiting to get done around here. (like putting in hooks for bookbags and recycling bags). As usual to avoid facing the real work I got online and did work here instead. I really need to get off and take care of the real world. I know I'll feel better if I did (actually all of us would). Maybe later I'll cheat...do a bunch of stuff and then write it up here and show off how much I crossed off (don't hold your breath though). The ultimate goal is to get into our bedroom...clean it and make it a cozy retreat.

OK...off to get something done...unlike last time...I WILL do something!

Friday, August 18, 2006

The day from Hell

I actually slept in until 9, but was still tired when I climbed out of bed. The morning was a bit slow going. Danielle woke up with a fever and glassy eyes. She ended up throwing up twice. I was the only one she wanted.

I was suppose to go to my parent's house and alter some things for my mom. They are leaving for vacation early Saturday morning. I also have their suitcase that Liz borrowed for Norway, not sure if they need it or not. I decided to wait until later in the day to see if Danielle felt better. My dad called about 11'ish and asked when I was coming in. I told him about Danielle being sick and trying to figure out when to come. I could hear my mom in the background telling him to have me bring, black, white and beige thread. I let him know I remembered and would get it if I didn't have it since I had to stop and buy some special needles to sew my mom's bathingsuit. That it wasn't a matter of not wanting to come in...but finding the time to do it. I think my dad heard something in my voice.

My mom called me back and suggested I wait until Fri morning to come in. I told her I couldn't because I had to take the girls to the campgrounds for their weekend trip. She said never mind then and I started crying hysterically. I WANTED to do it, but I just couldn't figure out how or when to do it. My mom didn't really want Danielle in there anyways if she was sick. She said she didn't NEED the things sewn, she's survive without it but I still felt guilty. She reassured me again and again that she'd survive without the alterations, she has so far. I calmed down and we talked about my trip to the beach the day before. Then I hear....

MOM!!! You need to come down here NOW!!! Me...OK...in a minute. No mom...NOW! We're going to die!!! I run down the hall with the phone still to my ear to find Drew's bedroom/the library filled with bees! OH NO! I tell my mom we have a bee's nest somewhere in the house and I have to go. I give her my classic...welcome to my world line as we say our goodbyes. :o)

The bees were coming in the house by way of the outside light. They'd made a huge nest in the ceiling of the room. You could hear them buzzing, there was a huge section of sheetrock that was soft, and the bees were dropping into the room through a hole they'd chewed in the ceiling. I had bought bee spray before the family fun weekend because the popup had a few wasp nests. Pat and Joey hit the bee's nest really well both inside and out. Amazingly no one got stung. The ceiling started opening up and the nest started falling onto the floor. Luckily by then most of it was dead.

I got Danielle down for a nap and decided to try to get online for a while and relax. Yeah right! Eileen asked if we could have popsicles and I told her to go get them. She walked across the kitchen floor, stepped in a puddle of water and went down on her fanny...catching herself with her hands. She was screaming and holding her right wrist. Pat walked her to me and whispered in my ear...it's broken. There was a patch of petechia (broken blood vessels under the skin) below her wrist and a bump on the side. It sure looked like it. I called the dr and changed my clothes while the big kids dressed Danielle. We headed out the door about 3:15.

She was examined and then sent downstairs to the brand new imaging office. They weren't fully functional yet but could do basic arm x-rays. We were their ever first patient!!! The place was really nice. It's also nice not to have to travel across town and back for an injury like that. :o) The radiologist has to read them in the morning but it looks ok. The dr said there might be a wrinkle on there but he wasn't sure. He'll call if anything turns up. I wrapped her wrist in an ace bandage and headed home. She's sore but dealing with it well.

I decided to stop at Arby's on the way home. They had a 4 regulars for $5 special so I bought 16 of them. The girl asked me if I wanted any sauce, I said yes both please. I noticed she threw in tons of horsey sauce and a few Arby's sauce in with our sandwiches. I asked for more so that I could have at least one packet for each sandwich. She threw a few more of each in a little bag and walked away. I looked quickly. All together I had TEN Arby sauce packets. I sat there and when she headed back to the drivethru window I asked AGAIN for enough Arby sauce for at least ONE packet per sandwich. She huffed off, threw some more in another little bag and handed it to me. I so wanted to reach through that window and....oh nevermind, I forgot I'm suppose to be a mature adult. How hard is it!?! I only wanted ONE per sandwich! Not a year's supply! Geesh!

We pull into the driveway about 6ish, Olivia jumps out of the van and immediately slams the door behind her. Eileen was sitting up front, she had reached backwards and wouldn't you know it....her fingers ened up closed in the door. She managed to pull them out before I could unbuckle and open the door for her. It was her already injured hand too! Luckily her fingers weren't in the door too far but it got the nails. She iced them and seems to be doing ok with it.

I walked into the kitchen, Tom walked in the backdoor. I started telling Tom about how my day had gone when he said over me....I bought porkchops on the way home. As he started his next sentence I stopped midsentence, looked at him, slammed the bottle of water I had in my hand onto the table, walked into my bedroom and curled into a little ball on my bed. I'm pretty sure I ended up dozing off and taking a nap. The next thing I knew it was time to take the kids to the youth meeting at 7:30. Luckily I got them there and back with no mishaps. :o)

It's one of those days where everyone's bedtime can't come soon enough! Tomorrow HAS to be better!

Thursday, August 17, 2006

A little piece of heaven

We spent the day getting ready, driving to and enjoying Southwick Beach. It was GREAT! D and I pretty much just sat on the beach, watched the kids and talked. We had lots of good memories of MIL up there. (their old camp is less then a mile down the beach). It really hit me how much I miss her as we hit a landmark I always consider...the almost there mark.

Danielle didn't like the sand at first and tried to avoid standing on it. The lower you'd put her, the higher her knees would come up. She took quite a long nap in her stroller so I could relax a bit. When she woke up she got use to the sand. By the time the beach closed we had to watch her like a hawk! She was crawling into the waves and sticking her face into the pools the kids had dug.

We grilled hotdogs for dinner and then sat and watched the sun set. We kept having to tell kids to NOT stand infront of us and ruin our view. lol It was BEAUTIFUL as usual. At one time I turned to D and said...Poor Tom. I know he really wanted to be up there but couldn't. He'd taken too much time off recently dealing with his mom.

We packed up the vans and then the girls headed off to shower. They all had tons of seaweed and sand in their hair and suits. They washed their hair twice and still couldn't get it all out.

While waiting for the girls to finish up I sat in D's van in the front passenger seat. The door was open and D had the interior lights off. After Danielle finished nursing she stood on my lap and played with the dashboard. My eyebrow itched so I itched it. That's when Danielle decided she wanted to take a nosedive off my lap toward the paved parking lot. I screamed, grabbed at her and got her...only to have her slip out of my hand. I was sure she was gone. Somehow I managed to pin her head and shoulders between my knee and the open door, allowing me to grab her foot. She was screaming, I was shaking, D was panicing. I pulled her up by the foot and threw her into a huge bear hug, trying not to break into hysterics. Luckily she wasn't hurt (my knee smashed her pretty hard), only scared.

Then it was time to drive home. I was SO tired. I dropped off who I had to and headed home. Those last few miles were really hard. We left everything in the van until morning. I took Danielle, jumped into bed, started nursing her and went out like a light.

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

Tying up loose ends ~ Larger Families Blog

I never posted that my last article over at Largerfamilies.com was up on Friday. I wrote it on Wednesday and saved it as a draft. Meagan was kind enough to publish it for me on Friday. Thanks Meagan! The topic is ORGANIZATION which I am seriously lacking in. Any organization I do is purely for survival sake. Outside of that..furgetaboutit.

Anyways...I tried to participate. Here's a link to my article You must be SO organized

Go read, comment...even if it's to say I'm a lazy slob!, make me proud.

I'm also going to be adding the link to each kids birth story on their birthday post. So my apologies to bloglines/reader users who will be seeing old posts show up again.

Sunday ~ Last day...and the rest

It was a short day at the conference. The only thing scheduled was a morning meeting for everyone. I took a shower, had a cup of coffee and started packing while the kids slept. When it got close to the time for the morning meeting to start I tried to wake up Liz and Olivia..it was impossible..especially for Olivia. Poor thing. We all finally got ready and left for the meeting.

I ran into PO who had a receiver and a set of split ear buds. Her and I set up our lawn chairs in the shade near the playground, each got an earbud and we talked, listened to the meeting and watched the little kids on the playground. The older kids went inside to the meeting.

The meeting ended and we finished packing up the site. SOMEONE (read...Tom, Drew or Joey) smashed the tent stakes almost ALL the way into the ground with a sledgehammer when they put up the tent. It was IMPOSSIBLE to pull them up. Trying to get the tent tabs off the stakes was near impossible too since hooks the tabs were on were buried too. Liz and I wrestled with the stupid tent for over 45mins!!! I was soaked in sweat and exhausted when we got done. I need to go back since I left most of the stakes in the ground still. I don't think the guy mowing the lawn will appreciate running them over, even if they are plastic.

I got home and the kids starting unpacking the car...throwing things onto the lawn and in the livingroom. We had to hurry because it was 2pm and I was due back to the church for a bridal shower at 2. I didn't get there until after 3. When I sat down I was so tired I was on the verge of tears. I begged out of participating in the shower games. I just sat and nursed Danielle while I visited. I only wanted to stay a short time so I could get home and spend the rest of the day with Tom. It was his last day of vacation. I really wished he didn't have to go back to work on Monday. I can't wait until he's retired (I say now....ask me again after he retires lol)

I ended up falling asleep in the recliner at 10pm. Tom brought Danielle out to me about 3:30am. She was fussing and kicking him in the head. He needed to get some sleep. I brought her back to bed and nursed her, but couldn't get back to sleep. About 4:30 I had her soundly to sleep and was sick of tossing and turning so got up for the day.

I was stiff and sore, especially my fingers and hands. It made typing well difficult. I vegitated for most of the day. By 4:30pm I was exhausted and went to lay down for about 30mins. When I got up Michelle asked if we could go shopping since it was her and Olivia's turn for food this week. We did. We hung out and round town until it was time to pick up C from work at 10:30.

Today I got some work done, with the help of the kids...yeah! I'm still dragging a bit but can deal with it. D called me and asked if I wanted to go to Southwicks tomorrow. I thought it was a pretty good plan and agreed to go. Now I need to do some laundry, plan and pack for that. Unfortunately Tom can't take the day off to go also. We'll have to go up as a family at a later date. I figure I can do laundry while I'm chatting. Now if I can only remember to get up every hour or so and switch loads around.

Saturday ~ The day that never quit

Saturday was a really busy day although it wasn't planned that way. After the moring children's meeting I took the kids up to the grill for lunch. It was a limited grill becuase of how much work needed to be done for the evening chicken BBQ. After I ordered my cheeseburger the grill got pretty busy with only a few people working (others were setting up for their children's workshops). I asked BIL if he needed some help and he did. So I gave my nephew my burger and got behind the counter. We were hopping and bopping. Because there was so much going on in the afternoon we had to cut it short and quite a few people were turned down for lunch. :o( I wish there was a way we could've fed everyone, but they were warned in an email of the short hours.

After closing up I headed down to the main area to help D with her workshop. The little kids had picked workshops they were interested in and then were scheduled for every half or whole hour between 1 and 5pm. D was running the cookie decorating table for the little kids. The youth girls did most of the work but needed some help here or there. All of a sudden Pat and my nephew Joey came up and asked me if I heard what happened. They said Drew cut off his finger, then it was his fingertip, finally it was his hand. It ended up being the fleshy part on his hand under his ring and pinky. BRATS! Pat said he did it that way so I wouldn't freak over the actual news. I told him...YEAH! IF I didn't have a heart attack before you told me the actual news!

I headed to the kitchen area to find Drew. He was ok and it might've needed a stitch or two but he super glued it together. While there I asked if they needed help, and they did!!! I had Michelle, Val and Janna watch Danielle while I worked for over 5hrs! I rotated between halving whole chickens (got so good at it I could split it with one slice) and doing dishes. By the time I was done the back of the knife had cut into my index finger. I'm not sure if it's an occupational hazard or bad knife technique. Next time I think I'll try wearing a whole finger leather thimble under my gloves.

There was a mixup with dinners and we were one family that had a delay in getting our chicken. Unfortunately the kids had to be performing with the children's choir by the time our chicken was done. The kids were adorable and did a great job! I pulled them out of the music feast after their performance and fed them. Stupid me was so concerned about the food that I forgot that Liz still had to perform with the big choir and missed her performance. :o( I feel horrible.

After dinner we headed down to the grill and hung out until it was open. I got Danielle to sleep and started helping out behind the counter. Danielle woke up and demanded my attention. I don't blame her since I'd hardly seen her all day. At least everyone was exhausted and fell right to sleep. Getting them up in the morning was a different story.

Thursday and Friday ~ Fun in the sun

I woke up bright and early with the sun each morning (like 6:15). I love when I do that and everyone else is still asleep. It's one of my favorite times....sitting outside in the sun with my cup of coffee and listening to the quiet. The only thing missing was the smell of smoke from the leftover embers of the previous nights fire. I decided to run down to the bathhouse and take a shower before Danielle woke up. I knew Liz would wake up and deal with her if she started crying while I was gone. It was nice and hot and quiet. We had breakfast and got ready for the day.

Thursdsay was geared mostly to the youth kids (12-34yo). First we had a parade around the whole grounds, past everyone's trailers. Then in the meeting hall for a children's meeting. I love hearing MC tell stories to the kids. After the meeting it was time for lunch (salami sandwiches) then the little ones and I headed down to the grill.

Our fellowship runs the grill. It's basically a candy store, snack bar, and food counter for everyone there. The kids all come with their change and clean us out of candy. The adults come for burgers, hotdogs, salt potatoes and such for lunch and dinner. At night it's nachos, rootbeer floats, burgers, dogs and salt potatoes again. Oh yeah can't forget cooler and cooler filled with ice cold drinks for sale either. Yes, we've gotten our friends from all over eastern Canada and the US (other areas as well but most are from there) addicted to the Central NY delicacy of salt potatoes. hehehe It's amazing how many they buy. And I'm including myself when I say they.

The youth had soccer and beach volleyball tournaments all afternoon. The younger kids swam, played on the playgrounds and ran around. Night found the youth in the meeting hall for the youth meeting and then out to the snack bar. While my kids played I hung out at the grill, helping out when needed but mostly visiting. The kids were very happy to climb into bed when we got back to camp and went out immediately

Friday was geared toward the little ones. We had a morning children's meeting and then it was fun time. The church rented 2 huge bouncy houses and 2 inflatable water slides. When they weren't going crazy on those (under supervision of course) they were swimming. Tom came over after dinner. :o) There was an evening youth meeting followed by fireworks.

The next day was the huge Chicken BBQ. BIL had to make enough pasta salad for 500 dinners. Tom and I helped him. Unfortunately it meant that I didn't get the little ones down at a decent time. They were REALLY exhausted before we got out of the kitchen.

Wednesday ~ Go Time

I was on the go for most of the day Wednesday. There was...

lots of laundry getting done (but not all of it),
a few meals cooked ahead of time,
a bit too much yelling,
lists made and lost a few times,
running in and out the door, up and down stairs
lots of questions asked
lots of kids waiting for answers that never came
lots of momentarily spacing out
thoughts of curling in a ball and mumbling incoherently
darkness falling
coolers packed
finding of clothes that no one else could seem to locate
outfits stuffed into backpacks and baskets
kids loading throwing things in the van
7 kids piling in the van, screaming YAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!
A big white van driving 2 miles down the street
one discombobulated mom behind the wheel trying to ignore the still screaming kids

We got to our campsite about 9:30pm (Tom and the boys had set up the tent the day before). I pulled the mattresses out of the popup and started setting up the beds. The whole time the kids were asking...are we done yet? Can we go play now? Can I go to X's campsite? Can I go do X? With me responding...in a minute, in a minute, in a minute. Finally I was satisfied we'd be able to at least climb into bed when it was time. I buckled Danielle into her stroller and we set off down the road to see who was there and what was going on. We found D and her family sitting outside their trailer around a bonfire and stopped a few minutes. D's kids were heading into bed and relaxing for a few minutes made my kids realize they were pretty tired too. We headed back to the campsite, cleaned up for bed and hit the sack...literally.

Tuesday - Time to go grocery shopping

I needed to go grocery shopping before the family weekend at church. After the huge lost/stolen diaper bag fiasco we'd closed and then reopened our major checking acct. Unfortunately they never unblocked our ATM cards. I asked Tom Tues morning if he'd call and get it fixed. He got off the phone and informed me that he they were fixed and we could use them immediately. YEAH! So Val, Janna, Jake and I go to Save-a-Lot.

After going through the check out I head out to the van. I stick my wallet and my receipts into the basket that's under my stroller (open in the back of the van). After loading in all the groceries I pick up my wallet when I realize my ATM card is missing. Hmmmm I tear my wallet apart trying to find it. I don't remember getting it back from the cashier so head back into the store and ask if he still has it...he doesn't. I run back to the van and we tear the boxes of groceries apart looking for it. Nothing. I go back into the store and search the floor around the register, ask the cashier to check where he puts the receipts to see if he stuck it in there with the debit receipt. No. Search the floor between the register and the door...again Nothing. Now I'm in the parking lot looking like a lunatic searching the pavement and under cars...tears streaming down my face. The girls tear the back of the van apart again. Finally I decide we have to head home so we can empty all the boxes and see if it's under something. I cry almost all the way home. I'm mad and embarrassed. Here we JUST turned it on hours beforehand and now I have to cancel it again.

We get home unload the groceries and still can't find it. I call the store and tell them what happened and leave my name and number incase they find it when they clean up at night.

I still needed to go to Price Chopper to buy things for the week. So we head out the door with Tom's card in my wallet. (didn't cancel them because then I couldn't access our money and I really needed to) Driving back to the grocery store I fell wiped out and emotional. I just want to go home and crawl into bed. We manage to shop anyways and do a pretty good job of it.

Because of the drama above I don't manage to throw in a single load of laundry that's needs to be done so we can pack. That means EVERYTHING (cooking, laundry, packing) will have to be done on Wednesday. I have NO idea if I'll be able to get out the door and set up camp by Wednesday night. My brain is such mush that I'm finding it hard to think of anything to pack anyways.

Happy 10th birthday Jake!

Monday, the 7th was Jake's 10th birthday. I felt a little bad since I was still dragging and not really feeling in the mood for a party. I already had some presents for him so ws set on that. His favorite was the Simpson's version of Operation. :o) It was really hot out! Tom and I decided it was too hot to make him a cake. Tom took Jake and drove up to the next town. They came home with pans of frosted brownies...one peanut butter frosting, another with chocolate frosting and sprinkled with m&ms. (pretty good actually) They didn't get ice cream, they got supplies to make rootbeer floats! Everyone seemed to enjoy them.

Last year I started writing out birth stories on the kid's birthdays so I'd have it recorded. With the summer conference and then being put on bedrest I never managed to get Jake's done (which then snowballed to the rest of the year). So I'm catching up with that now.

Jake's birth story

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

Jake's Birth story

His stats are....

Jacob Allen
August 7, 1996
2:31am
8lbs 3.5oz

I found out I was pg for Jake 4mos after I had a miscarriage (was 12.5wks along). My EDD was August 7th...10 days before the 1yr anniversary of my m/c. While I was nervous about m/c'ing again I didn't want to get into being micromanaged so quickly into my pregnancy. So I waited until I was 15wks before I had my initial prenatal appt. The practice wasn't very pleased...but oh well. Since I had gestational diabetes(GD) during Carrie's pregnancy, it was decided I'd do a one hr glucose test while I was doing my initial prenatal bloodwork. It came back high and I was placed on the gestational diabetes diet immediately. My sugar stayed controlled through the whole pregnancy. My blood pressure started creeping up around the 26th wk. I was placed on Aldomet, told to monitor it at home, take it easy whenever possible (LOL!). I did try to lay on my left side at least once a day. I'd also try to lay down if my pressure was creeping up.

On August 5th I had my last OB appt. An internal showed my cervix was still thick and closed. We decided I'd be admitted the next evening and started on cervidil (or something similar...can't remember exactly). With the game plan to let it work on effacing and dilating overnight, then starting up the pitocin in the morning. The dr stripped my membranes at the end of my exam.

I'd had contractions on and off all night and the next day. I hoped that they'd keep going and that they were doing something so I could avoid the overnight stay before induction. I got to the hospital at 8, settled in and was examined by a resident. It was one of the most painful exams I've ever had! He measured me to be 50% effaced and 3cm. I said...OH GOOD! That means I can go home (since I was doing on my own what the cervidil was suppose to do). The nurse said...oh no, you're already admitted, we're still going with the plan. I wanted to cry but said and did nothing. I kick myself for not being more sure of myself and assertive...let's just call it a learning moment. Warning...what's to happen next is NOT a fun read. It was my worse delivery ever (had nothing to do with the baby or it's health)

The resident then inserted the showlace like string of cervadil. His insertation technique was about as good as his internal exam one....OUCH!!! About 10'ish, an hour after insertion, I was hit with a doozy of a contraction. Within another hour I was getting slammed with HUGE contractions one ontop of another. My stomach wasn't relaxing between contractions and I was already exhausted. I could barely talk. I finally told Tom this wasn't right and I needed SOMETHING...if only to relax for a second. We called the nurse in and it was decided she'd get the resident. He examined me, talked to the oncall dr from my group (same dr that delivered #6, Luke). She ok'ed some demerol and said to keep her updated.

The gave me a shot of demerol into my butt cheek saying...this is for now. Then they took a syringe and said...this is for later and injected it into my IV line. Knowing what I know now (from dealing with Carrie) I'm pretty sure they injected the demerol into my line instead of into a drip container so it can be administered slowly over time. After that I immmediately went out cold...stone cold. Dr T (OB on call) came in to see me. I only know that because I woke up for a few seconds after asking her if she was going to my church summer conference. As I became semi-alert I realized what I'd asked her, apologized and went back to lala land. Tom told me afterwards that it was scary to watch. I also asked a nurse if she brushed her teeth. I was dreaming I was getting the kids ready for bed and included her in my dream. LOL

I finally came to a bit and complained that it hurt. From talking with Dr T it seems the resident then called her to ask for more pain medication for me. She thought that was odd considering how well I tolerated Luke's birth and how out of it I was. Told them to hold off on the pain meds and she was on her way up to see what was going on. Tom told me there was NO way he'd have allowed them to give me anymore meds!!!

By the time the resident came back from the phone call I was yelling that the baby was coming. It was a madhouse! The nurses were telling me to not push and move myself back on the bed so they could breakdown the bed. I was yelling that I'm not pushing but he was coming anyways. And there was NO way I could move back. Dr T walked in and was MAD! She yelled at the nurses to leave the bed and me alone. Threw on some gloves and caught Jake.

I nuzzled with Jake for a second, told Tom to love on him for me and went out cold again. I remained out cold until noon the next day. When I woke up I felt like I'd been hit by a truck. I hadn't seen Jake since a few minutes after he was born. While waiting for them to bring him to me from the nursery I was talking to my dad on the phone. I told him...what if I don't recognize him!?! I don't feel like I've bonded with him yet. They wheeled him in and told my dad...NO WORRIES! He looks like all his brothers and sisters...he's definitely one of my kids. LOL We bonded just fine after that. I stayed in the hospital for 2 days and came home with my blood pressure and sugar levels perfect. He was a happy and content baby.

Monday, August 07, 2006

Grinding halt

That's what I did after my last blog post. I hit publish and then didn't do A STINKIN' THING! I shut down as completely as possible. No laundry done, no groceries bought, not a piece of clothing or camping gear packed. And you know what....at this moment I DON'T CARE!

I'm definitely in a better place today then I was this weekend. It's still not 100% though. Sunday I was a mess. I couldn't make myself get my butt out of this chair no matter what. I felt that PMS'y/depressed shakey and cry at the drop of a hat feeling starting to grow.

Michelle and Val needed me to go to Wegman's and buy them their Darien Lake tickets Sunday. They were leaving bright and early Monday morning. They kept on me about going, I had to be over at church by 7 and the clock was ticking. Everytime they'd say something I wanted to scream and start crying. Eventually I managed to get mine and Danielle's fanny out the door.

As I was driving down the street everything from the last week just kinda caved in on me. I started crying and couldn't stop. Val kept asking what was wrong and I kept answering...nothing. She didn't believe me but finally gave up asking. By the time I was at C's house to pick him up...I felt better. We actually had a fun time. Running through the grocery store and then over to the mall to hang out for an hour and a half.

Today I've felt a lot better and managed to do a bit more around here...although not the work I NEED to do! LOL Tonight is laundry, tomorrow is grocery shopping, Wed is packing and setting up our site.

Everyone is getting excited. This year's schedule is pretty light for the little kids and parents. If you're a youth (12-34) then you can and should be a bit more busy. The highlights for the little ones is....

Grille/Candy stand....gotta get our sugar fix all day everyday!
Thursday mornign...children's parade
Friday afternoon...bouncy house, water slide and fun activities
Friday night...fireworks
Saturday afternoon....children's workshops (4 hrs of scheduled activities for each kid)
Saturnday evening....chicken BBQ
Saturday night....Music feast, lots of music acts performing, including the children's choir (I have 4 kids in that one)

It ends on Sunday with a general meeting. Immediately following I have a bridal shower to attend for one of the girls from our fellowship. I already have her gifts bought, just need to figure out what dessert I'll be bringing.

If it wasn't so fun for the kids, I'd be tempted to skip everything and stay home with Tom while he's on vacation. I've heard a rumor that the's going camping while we're gone. I'm trying to get him to drive over and hang out with us. I think he'd really like to see the music acts and all his kids performing.

So if I'm scarce between now and Sunday...excuse me while I try to play catchup with life. Becuase life doesn't stop for ANYONE...even mom.

Saturday, August 05, 2006

Some days I should just stay home!

Thursday the kids finally convinced me to take them grocery shopping (it was Liz and Eileen's week). While driving I kept thinking...I shouldn't be driving. And I was right! I almost took out a minivan!

I was pulling into a left turn lane to go into a shopping center. The left arrow turned red but the thru traffic was still green so I decided to proceed onto the next light. I needed to go back into my original lane of traffic. I checked over my shoulder to make sure the lane was clear, and it was.....or so I thought. As I started to move right into the original lane I happened to look out the front passenger window and there next to Liz's head was a lady's head! I yanked the wheel left and went back into the left turn lane. She was driving a navy blue minivan. I have NO idea how I didn't see it when I checked the lane. Actually I think the only reason I saw it was that I saw her face, not the actual vehicle. Before I got into Walmart parking lot I was crying. I KNEW I should've stayed home...I knew it! Luckily we managed to get home without anymore close calls. I was so glad to pull into the driveway!

Tom went to work on Thursday. He was not in a good mood when he left. I wish he could've/would've just taken Thursday and Friday off since Saturday started his week's vacation. I think he felt he needed to touch base before he was off again. At least he seemed to be doing better when he got home. Friday seemed to be a much better day for him. The differences in how we deal with things bugs me. I'm a talker, the more I talk about it the less it effects me. Tom holds things in. He likes to be alone and deal with it. I think part of it is the male macho thing (big boys can't cry) But essentially he's a loner. He doesn't like crowds (which makes living at our house a bit of a chore lol) and can just sit outside for hours on end. I'd be twiddling my thumbs, bouncing my leg (do that whereever I am anyways) and talking to the bugs.

Thursday night all the older girls got together at my SIL's house. It was a girl's night out. :o) Luckily I knew it before going grocery shopping. I picked up a few pounds of cooked shrimp and made cocktail sauce. We had frosty adult drinks and talked until well into the night. It was a fun time! I think we pulled into the driveway just before 2am.

Friday required a bit of driving around and I didn't get much done. Luke and Jake both had birthday celebrations to attend at different sides of the town. Later in the evening the kids got together at church and made banners for the summer conference children's parade on Thursday morning. They also had children's choir practice.

Yep it's that time of year again...SUMMER CONFERENCE! Unfortunately I didn't realize they moved it back a week so Tom is on vacation during the it. :o( I'm hoping I can convince him to come over and watch the activities. I heard whispers of him going camping with the older boys though. So we'll see.

With that on the horizon I have a lot of prep work to do (laundry, packing, food planning and prep). I'm not totally sure if we're going to stay over there. I'm thinking yes, just not sure how. Our popup is over there still. I'm thinking it didn't fare well through the winter. Each year it's deteroriated more and more. I think I'll see if Tom will go over with me on MOnday and check it out. If we can't use it I'll be tenting I guess. Just hope Tom wasn't planning on using it during his camping trip. LOL

As usual I'm also starting to want to do things around here. I've had a few kids ask me about sewing. My room is a disaster area and is really starting to bug me. The house itself isn't too bad but I wouldn't mind taking care of the clutter. And then there's the basement. We have to have the electrical done for the pool and it needs to be inspected. That means someone going into our basement and walking around. *GULP* So I want to start working on that too. Yet, here I sit. LOL At least Val is working in the kitchen ATM.

With tomorrow being really busy at church I guess I need to get moving on things today. So I guess I need to go.

Really....I have to get up and get something done

No, I mean it! I HAVE to go. NOW! REALLY! RIGHT NOW!

*poof*

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

Funeral

I tried to stay in bed past the alarm clock going off. I pushed the envelope on the time but I did ok. The fruit salad took about an hour to make up and I woke the kids about 7:45. The kids were exhausted and some were really difficult to wake. I had to get ugly when they were still in bed at 8:15! I realized just how lucky I have it with only Danielle who can't get herself ready. I had to do hair and whatnot but it was still a lot easier then if I'd had to help dress them (like D had to do). Tom got a phone call from his baby brother and had to deal with some things before leaving. We left about 15mins after we'd planned and hit some construction we weren't aware of. Luckily we still made it with 2mins to spare. Allison and her car full (Drew, Pat, Jess and nephew Joey) were a tiny bit late.

One of the brothers from our church spoke, some nieces sang a song and then Tom and his siblings each had a chance to speak. They all did great and it was nice to hear from them. I had to get up and stand to the side with Danielle. I noticed Carrie and my niece were pretty overcome with the whole thing. I had Drew grab me some tissues, went over, gave them some tissues and sat with them. It seemed to help, I hope it did. As were getting ready to leave I heard BIL tell the funeral director....If there's a garage sale on the way, you have to stop. Someone made the comment...you won't have a choice. The hearse will pull over for it whether the driver wants to or not. Grandma's will is too strong. :o)

We had about a 25 mile trip to take in the procession. It's so nerve wracking! Especially nowadays. People are so ignorant to the etiquette of funeral processions. Being a self absorbed society with not patience doesn't help. Neither does the fact that the streets are a zillion times busier now. It also didn't help that my kids are older and are driving themselvs. I found myself worried that they weren't going to be bold enough to go through the lights. That someone wouldn't know what was going on and T-bone them at full speed. Luckily most of the traffic was respectful, so maybe we're not THAT bad of a society. Someone honked because the cars ahead weren't going when there was a green light. And a lady merged into the line infront of my nephew (who was ahead of me). The light turned red, she stopped, nephew went around her in a turning lane and I laid on the horn. She went through the light and pulled onto the side of the road, letting the rest of us continue. (there were only about 5 or 6 cars behind me)

It was HOT at the graveside! We sang a song, the brother from church spoke again and then the spouses of the kids were given a chance to speak. When it was my turn I wanted to speak forever, tell stories and how much she meant to everyone. Instead I tried to keep it short. I'm not sure exactly what I said to tell you the truth. I just know it didn't feel like enough. I'll have another opportunity to speak about her at her church feast. The grandkids all had roses and laid them on her casket.

She's buried in the cemetary in our village. I'm going to talk to some of Tom's sibs and see if they mind if I plant some things up there. I can make it so there is almost always something growing. I have most of it in my garden already. I was thinking crocuses, daffodils, irises, glads and not positive on the fall things...maybe make that an annual of paper daisies...they last a long time. Maybe a spot or two of flag grass so that there's green even in the winter.

From the graveside we went to the American Legion for a reception. BIL did a good job as always. There was lots of food and talking. It was great to be inside a place that had A/C. I kept making the kids come back in and play in there. As soon as they'd go out they'd be soaked in sweat and red faced. It was a bit loud with all the kids playing in there. FIL seemed to tolerate it well.

FIL and BIL brought their 2 dogs. They don't like to keep them alone too long. Anyways they were MILs babies for the last 12 years (one of them was our dog Shadow's sister..she's a chocolate lab) It was one of my neice's birthday days so we all sang Happy Birthday. I sang it through tears because in the back of the room was the chocolate lab singing along with everyone. MIL always made it a point to call everyone on their birthday and have the dog sing them Happy Birthday.

We started to clean up and I wanted to make everyone stay. I didn't want it to end. Even though I was exhausted I felt like it wouldn't be bearable without having something to do. I wanted to stay busy and keep visiting. Once we were home though I was glad to be home. I realized that I was totally exhausted. I couldn't imagine how Tom felt. We spent the night trying to not melt. I grilled burgers and we hung outside until the mosquitoes found us, then I had to take Danielle inside.

I still find myself wondering if the ringing phone is MIL. I'm sure Tom will be hit tomorrow. He's returning to work (for 2 days then he has a week's vacation!) Usually he stops by his parent's house once a day to say hi, get a cup of coffee, maybe a bite to eat. It'll hit him hard then I'm sure. I wish I could be a tiny mouse in his pocket so I could be there with him.

Wake

We had as nice a time as you can at these types of things. MIL looked great, the funeral home did just what the kids asked them to do. So good in fact that they decided to keep the casket open (they were going to close it after a private viewing). The grandkids coped amazing well, unlike me when I was 14 and my grandfather passed away. (then again I cry when ice melts) I was amazed at that I wasn't in tears too much these last few days.

The funeral home had created a slide show of our pictures which seemed to help a lot. It reminded everyone of just how great a life she lived. There was even a picture of her sitting up in her hospital bed last Wednesday. Everyone kept saying how great she looked in it. The most "famous" pic is of her at 16yo. She's standing outside in her bathing suit, holding onto a huge icicle. It was taken in January as a dare from her friend. I believe somehow it was blown up and ended up displayed in a public place (thinking it was a drug store window). The picture that brought the biggest smile to my face though was of MIL and her oldest dd swinging about 15yrs ago. Their skirts are flying and they have huge smiles on their faces.

Tom had a LOT of coworkers come by and offer their condolences. Actually most of the people there that weren't family, were county workers (BIL and Tom work there, FIL is retired from there, 2 other BILs have worked there in the past). My parents came by and I found out my dad had his procedure to drain the fluid from around his lungs. He was pretty sore. They took a litre of fluid from off his left lung! No wonder he couldn't breathe well. My sister and her best friend since forever came by. It was good to see them. We talked about old times (they hung out with me and SIL, D when we were in school) and how everyone was coping with Tiffany's death. She said now that everyone is done with, they are doing a bit better. I wondered if that would work with Tom and his sibs.

I felt so bad for FIL. He wore his mask and put himself off to one side so that everyone wasn't approaching him directly. People still came right up into his face, grabbed and shook his hand. I understand the need to touch someone when they're mourning. I found it hard not to do it and I know he's not a touchy feely type of person even when not sick. But geesh...what part of hospital mask and hidden in the corner don't you get? His brothers and sisters kind of circled him but it still didn't do much good. I'm not sure how he made it through the grief and the fright of everyone's germs infecting him. I've BTDT with Carrie and it's not a good place to mentally be.

After the wake we all went out to eat. There were too many of us to go to one place without reservations. So some went to Olive Garden, the rest of us when to Ponderosa. We hadn't been in Ponderosa in a while and I don't think we'll be going back anytime soon. It's just now that great. The service was fine and the food was good. It's just eh. We had a lot of great stories to tell about MIL at that place though. It used to be the goto place for us with her. I think most of my older kids went there before they were a week old. (for birthday celebrations of Tom's sibs)

I was exhausted when we got home and decided to put off making the fruit salad until the next morning. I wasn't sure if that was a good idea or not since we had to be out the door by 9am. I finally got the kids settled in and fell into bed around midnight. I think I might've went right out but I know I tossed and turned a lot all night long. I'd blame it on the heat but we had the A/C on in our room and it was in the upper 60s in there (someone had been playing with the buttons!) I tried to make myself stay in bed and go back to sleep until a decent hour.