Wednesday, December 28, 2005

Mall madness

Tuesday was a lazy day for the most part. I played around on the computer, installing new games and such. I also managed to finally get the right sound driver installed! Woohoooo! It only took 4 different files to get the right one. lol Figures now that things are hunkydory on this computer...I start thinking about getting a new one. I'd love it if I didn't have to share. MINE! MINE! MINE!

Around 4 we finally got out the door to head to the mall. We were curious whether they had some decent sales. I managed to buy a few things are various stores, not spending too much at any. It sure does add up though. We hit the grocery store on the way home. Even though I spent a good chunk of money I didn't buy a week's worth of groceries. Most of it was for this long weekend. We always like to have an at home day on New Years with lots of snacks. On the way home I realized that Tom is on call this weekend. So much for the family day at home thought. Maybe we'll luck out and it'll be a quiet sewer day. lol

Liz, Carrie and Eileen came home last night and brought 2 of my neices with them. The oldest niece (14yo) LOVES Danielle, so my snuggle time has been cut drastically. Guess I should take advantage of it and get some work around here done....naaaaaa.
I sure do wish the clean laundry fairy would make a visit. The Mount Washmore troll has definitely been here! Our septic tank started backing up/slowing down on Christmas Eve so I haven't done too much of it in a while. Not to mention I was behind to begin with.

With New Years being around the corner I've started thinking about resolutions. I don't normally make resolutions but this year is a bit different. I don't see them as resolutions so much as affirmations of what I've already started to accomplish in my life. Also to move mom up on the taking care of scale. Seems she's usually last. (except when pg then she's first!)

The mob is asking for breakfast...onto a pancake making marathon.

Monday, December 26, 2005

It finally happened....

We finally had a Christmas where my head never hit a pillow. In the past I've always managed at least one or two hours of sleep. I was SO far behind that I considered not going over to BIL's house when the rest of the family went. I just couldn't do it though.

We had a great time at BIL's house. I had 49 "kids" to buy for. I say kids loosely as some of our neices and nephews are over 18 and have kids/stepkids of their own. I managed to find a present for everyone, the kids wrapped them Saturday morning. I figure we brought over 60 presents. As usual there was tons of food, drinks and good times. The kids always enjoy getting together and just hanging out. It rarely happens nowadays.

We got home from BIL's between 11:30 and midnight. By the time the kids were in their rooms and I nursed Danielle to sleep it was after 1. I knew I was running low on paper so had to wrap everything that was going to my parents first. (figured I had enough wrapped for under the tree that newspaper wrapped presents wouldn't be so noticeable under there). It was after 3 when I finished wrapping them.

Now I could start on the pile for the morning. Danielle woke up and Tom snuggled with her and eventually took her into bed with him. I had bought a bunch of glittery lingerie boxes at the dollar store so took advantage of them. All the clothes I was giving were put in that and taped wrapping needed. I think I'd STILL be wrapping if I had to wrap those too ;o) Sometime around 4ish I heard someone up and went to investigate. It was Jake...throwing up! He had the illness I had on Tues and Wed. UGH! At least he made the toilet and was easy to help and get settled back into bed.

We always tell the kids the earliest they can get up. Usually it's 6am or 7am. This year we compromised and made it 6:30. I finally got as much wrapped as I needed to (there were a few odds and ends I could've wrapped but didn't) at 6! I still had stockings to fill and had to get the presents under the tree. As I started hauling out things I'd wrapped earlier in the week out of our bedroom, Tom woke up and helped. There was no time for organizing things and making sure their main present was in the back...saving it for last. I just threw them under the tree. The pile was HUGE! I realized part of it was that I put everyone's clothes into boxes this year. Usually I just roll everything into a ball and then wrap. Part of it was that I'd hit a great sale at the outlet mall (things for $.94 - $2.94) so bought a good amount of clothes. Just as we were making the pot of coffee....6:30 hit and we heard tons of feet...ok...only 22...coming down the hall. (Allison spent the night so she could experience a "real" Christmas, according to Drew)

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Things were feverishly unwrapped for almost 2hrs! I thought I did pretty well until I heard Jake in the bathroom crying. He was upset because he wanted a game for his Gameboy and got a bike (Luke had gotten a game for his big thing). I felt bad and told him he could take the bike back and get one if he wanted to. I knew he wasn't feeling well and was tired so didn't take offense to his being unappreciative. I also knew that he was getting a game from my mom in a few hours. :o) The bike stays.

I managed to take a 2 or 3 hour nap after opening presents so was good to go for the rest of the day. This left me with no time to make my pasta salad. Luckily it would've been extra for our meals so wasn't missed. We left for my parent's house about 1:30. Just a little past the 1:00 I'd hoped to leave by. We had another nice time with family....everyone behaved. lol I warned everyone that Jake was sick and to keep away from him. He mostly drank soda all day. He started with a little food near the end of the night. I hope no one else gets it. I got the one present I always was jealous of everyone else getting. A MASSAGE!!!! I've never had one. My dad let me know which of the ladies there is great giving a deep massage. YEAH! No one around here can seem to get hard/deep enough for my liking. I hope it helps, since my lower back has been killing me for a few weeks now.

My sister took Liz, Carrie and Eileen home with her. I was a bit nervous about it. Not because of Carrie's sister was on insulin during a few of her pregnancies. It's because last time this happened after Christmas, Carrie was brought home early. She had meningitis and ended up in the hospital for 3wks. Tom and I stayed for a bit longer after everyone else left. The day ended with me the recliner checking emails (I LOVE my new wireless keyboard) at midnight and falling asleep in the middle of reading.

Saturday, December 24, 2005


I feel like I'm back. I bought a new keyboard last night and can now type stressfree. Before, I had to hope that the old one didn't cause the computer to freeze up. Or die and make me have to use the onscreen keyboard which is VERY tedious to use. I've put everyone on alert. If ONE drop of liquid comes near my computer desk they are in trouble. I'm excluded of course. ;o)

I THINK I'm done shopping for Christmas. This morning I did remember I forgot to buy hot sauce for the chicken wings I'm bringing to BILs tonight. The good thing...Tom can run up to the village and buy it. Granted it'll cost 2 or 3 times what I'd have paid if I remembered it in the grocery store last night...but oh well.

I really didn't care to be out shopping last night. I'd hoped to be done and spend the night wrapping. Unfortunately money doesn't fall from the sky and I haven't been successful in growing my money tree. So I had to wait until yesterday for the money to arrive. I'm hoping to finish the wrapping (although I'm not optimistic) before we head over to BIL's house this afternoon. The kids will wrap stuff for BIL's house while I do their gifts for tomorrow. I'll probably wrap for my parent's house tomorrow morning after we open presents. LOL

My mall trip was unsettled a bit when I ran across a group of people I didn't want to. It left me a bit shaken and saddened. It's a great reminder that one stupid decision can really mess up things for a long time. Also that our actions do NOT only affect us, but many many people. Even more then we probably realize.

While shopping I really had to fight the urge not to buy ONE MORE thing for so and so. I am often labled the fairness queen and it plagues me this time of year. I'm so afraid someone is going to be offended because I didn't buy as many or spend as much as someone else. This is made more difficult with the huge age span of my kids. It's so easy to buy a lot of "cheap" things for the littler kids. The big ones it's easy to spend the $$ but not get a lot. I think Luke and Jake were the ones that got a bit shorted. Mostly because the girls have some clearance sale clothes I've put away. WHY are there never any decent boy's clothes on clearance?

So today's plan is....

Clean up the house a bit
hold my baby
Do laundry we need for tonight and tomorrow
feed my baby
Wrap presents
pass someone my baby
Make food for tonight
ask someone to PLEASE get the baby
Get everyone ready
dress the baby is some really cute clothes
Go to BILs
show off my baby

Come home and...

Finish wrapping
try to get baby to sleep
Put out presents
juggle baby
Fill stockings
pass off baby to Tom
Maybe get a few hours sleep
snuggle with my baby


So as you can see I really shouldn't be sitting here. Need to go wake the work crew. I hope that everyone has a happy and safe holiday!!! May all your wishes come true.

Saturday, December 17, 2005

Visiting an old friend

It's been a loooong time since I could come here and play. I've missed it. Between my computer not cooperating and some personal things happening here... *heavy sigh* Please keep my family in your thoughts and prayers the next few months. We're looking at a rough time.

Danielle is getting bigger and cuter by the second. I can't find any batteries for my camera so can't post a picture of her yet. I'm hoping to get one SOON (new famiy one too). She had a stomach bug last week and learned she could screech. She'd start and the other kids would say...Mom! Make her stop! I let them know that she'd spoiled them until now. She's continued to use her screech for everything...happy, sad, mad, attention getting. She's turned into quite the chatterbox.

She's starting to use her hands more but her thumb is still stuck inside her fist. She'll definitely be a thumbsucker once it pops out and is easy to get to. She surprised me the other day. I put her in her swing and stuck it infront of the Christmas tree (wasn't swinging). Next thing I know I hear her laughing and laughing. She was using her foot to kick an ornament and thought it was hilarious. I didn't realize she even knew she had feet, much less knew how to control them.

Carrie is doing well diabetes wise. She's been on Glucophage for about 3wks now and her numbers have dropped like a rock! YEAAAAAAAAAAA! She's still taking insulin premeals and for corrections (when her number skyrockets) Her morning numbers were great last week but have gone back up this week. I guess we'll have something to discuss on Monday when we go to the JC for her next appointment.

You may notice that my weight ticker hasn't moved since I put it up. That's because my weight hasn't moved! I'm stuck at the 191/190 mark. I guess I should be glad it's not going up but it sure would be nice to see it going down. I don't think I've posted about a new messageboard I'm moding now. It's geared for those of us who are trying to lose weight and live healthier along with taking care of lots of kids.

Weight Loss and Healthy Living

Things are happening here whether we're ready for it or not. Still have lots to do before Christmas Eve night (when we celebrate with Tom's family). Today has a few birthday parties the kids are attending in our plans. I have to get ready for a Christmas feast at church tomorrow. Then it's shopping, baking and wrapping...which I haven't done a stitch of yet. At least our Christmas tree is up and waiting. I'm not freaking out yet, but give me time. LOL

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

Where were we

Ok...lots of happenings, let's hope I don't ramble too much.

Carrie's JC appt went well last Wedneday. I don't feel like the dietician taught me tons of new things. She did give me appropriate guidelines for Carrie. I can't truthfully say we're following them, but they're there. They redid Carrie's liver function tests. Her NP, Z, from the JC called on Friday and let me know that they came back normal. She was waiting to hear from the KNOT clinic about their opinion of Carrie starting Glucophage. Z wanted to start it immediately but I begged off until Monday since I wasn't going to be home. I waited for her to call today but she never did. She might have been waiting for the school nurse to fax Carrie's numbers to her...I forgot to send them in.

I didn't want to start up the Glucophage while I was away at a Sister's conference at church. We'll be cutting her insulin and I need to be here to know when/if she needs a correction shot. As it is I got at least 3 calls while I was gone and I didn't even sleep there like I originally planned. The theory is that eventually we should be able to drop all use of insulin. I wish I could say I was as optimistic. Maybe if we started this new direction with her numbers looking really good it would be different. She's still running too high.

The sister's weekend was NICE even if I went home at night. lol Danielle was really content the whole time. I had a few people say they didn't realize I was pregnant when they saw me at the Summer Conference!!! (Danielle was born 3wks later) We had a great dinner with a deliciously sinful piece of cheesecake for dessert. I found out afterwards that it was 500 cals worth of cheesecake!!! Not that having the knowledge beforehand would've stopped me from stuffing my face full of it.

Some of us are/were sick. I thought I was heading to the ER with Michelle last night. She's one of my healthiest kids so when she was incoherently crying her head hurt and she didn't feel good...I got scared. Especially once she started complaining her neck hurt. Michelle doesn't really remember most of our conversations so she really was out of it. I was the sick one on Friday. A headache had me in and out of bed all day. I'm assuming Michelle and I had the same thing with her getting hit harder. I'm just hoping Danielle can be spared.

Tonight Tom took a bunch of the little ones to Lights on the Lake. It doesn't officially open until tomorrow. They had a special day for Tom's work where you walked through the displays (2 miles) and then rode a shuttle back to your car. Usually you just drive through. They had free refreshments for them afterwards also. We were a little confused how it was going to go (I thought the shuttle drove you through it and then took you to the parking lot). I'm glad I decided not to go. It would've been hard to keep Danielle warm that long and she would've killed my back carrying her for that long! Michelle didn't really want to stay home alone anyways. (she REALLY wanted to go and tried to tell me she was all better lol) The kids had a ball but it cut homework time short. Poor Carrie was up until 11 doing her's and she's still not done. Oh well! I'm not giving up family time for homework...especially after 6hrs of school!

I'm trying to figure out how to fit everything into tomorrow and Wednesday. I need to go to the grocery store. Even if I'm dreading it, the crowds are going to be CRAZY! Everywhere I look here I see something that needs to be done and it's bugging me. It's almost Christmas Bazaar time and I need to get to work on some things to sell there. I bought supplies to make Christmas fabric backed cookie platters. I also have to work around Danielle and her needs.

Oops...she just woke up in her swing. Guess I'll take her to bed. If I don't get back here...I hope everyone in the US has a great Thanksgiving!

Monday, November 14, 2005

Get DOWN! No! Get UP!

It's a not so fun rollercoaster ride (I normally LOVE rollercoasters lol) Guess this is the life of being diabetic. Poor Carrie is getting slammed physically. Thing is...I should've known last night's dinner would send her skyrocketing. We decided to have some fun and ran to get Arby sandwiches for everyone. When I was first pregnant with Danielle it sent my BS off the why not Carrie's? It didn't help that she was high to start with either. Here's how it went...

Predinner...236 give her Humalog ( acting insulin)
2 hrs later & bedtime...348, give her H and her Lantus
1hr later...317
1.5hrs after that...184

I see she's coming down and am ok with that number although it's not great. Head into bed. This morning she woke to a 162 and I gave her the H. We upped her H in the morning and I'd never given it to her on a school day. She's running late and I make her stuff a pudding cup down her throat...hand her a slim jim and a individ pack of cheez-its and push her out the door. I'm now yelling instructions out the those on the bus! I sent her a indi pack of cookies for her bus home snack (not sure if she has to stay after so wanted the higher carbed snack).

Fast forward to 10:30 this AM. School nurse's aide calls...Carrie's here with an upset stomach and feeling shaky. (lunch is in half an hour) I've tested and her sugar is 125 so that's fine. I explain that she's RARELY that low so she might be experiencing low symptoms at that number. I talk to Carrie and find out she didn't eat her crackers on the bus. I'm really not sure what to do. Because I'm not sure if she's still heading downward numberwise I tell the aide to have her eat at least half her crackers and then proceed for lunch testing.

Lunchtime rolls around. Aide calls again. She ate her COOKIES and is now 102. HUH? OK so she was heading downward when she didn't feel so hot. It's good she recognized the symptoms. :o) Technically she's suppose to get a tiny dose of H if she's above 100 but I'm not sure if she's heading downward still or not. I instruct the aid to skip the H and send her to lunch. Test 2hrs after lunch and call me...I'll let her know if she needs to give a correction shot or not.

Phone rings at 11:30...Carrie is testing out at 178 now. Should I give her the lunch dosage of H based on those numbers. UGH! I'm not even sure what I'm doing. What am I suppose to tell her? I ask her to let Carrie go another hour, then test again...we'll correct after that if need to. I'm so use to the highs I'm scared to let her get low now. I hope I'm doing right. Guess I could call the JC and ask.

Dealing with myself with D, I've seen it as brainer. Numbers high...fix it one way or the other. Numbers low...EAT! With Carrie it's not such an easy call. It'd be different if she was home (and I was SO tempted to run to school and bring her home!). I'm not sure if school makes it harder for me because I'm not there. She doesn't have immediate access to everything...although the school nurse is only down the hall and can be there in 30secs. Or I'm afraid that Carrie isn't going to realize what's going on and ignore it, even though she's proven she can. Maybe it's all of the above.

My mind is still racing..trying to rationalize if what I did was right or not. What to do if 12:30 numbers are X or above, X or below. How long before she'll be home to test and eat again. If I should have her test anymore at school today. I'm making myself dizzy!

One second I'm looking forward to Carrie's appt at the JC and the dietician on Wednesday. Other times I've dreading it. The unknown is the problem. Will it make things easier or harder? What are they going to do? Will they know answers to my zillions of questions?

I need to go to the grocery store, also have to pick up some meds at the Rx. I don't want to leave and be gone when Carrie gets off the bus. It's like having all little kids again (no babysitters) and having to be home for the kindergarten bus.

Late afternoon update...She was 190 and will have 3hrs until she can have anything to eat. I told her to leave her at that. Now I wonder if I should've had her given a smidgen of H to correct it. Oh well, guess we'll see how she is when she gets home. At least she's reporting she feels much better. Poor kid.

Friday, November 11, 2005

Where to start...

My mind has been a rambling mess lately. It's one of those times when I start writing here, it gets LOOOONG and rambling, I give up. Let's hope I can finally get this out and have it make sense.

We got the call we'd been waiting for from the Joslin Center (JC). Carrie's other 2 antibody tests came back negative. So she's a Type 2 diabetic now. I should be excited over this but I'm not. The fact that I'm not is bugging me. I feel like what little control we've had over this will be stripped away with oral meds. Carrie will have to be more careful with what she eats and she'll be encouraged to exercise a lot more. I know this is all good things for her and everyone in the family.'s hard enough for ME to follow my plan, I can't imagine how it will be for an 11yo. Hanging out with friends and them pigging out, having to say no, to watch what she eats for dinner so she can fit in cake. Being offered a treat at the wrong time of the day and having to turn it down. *heavy sigh* An 11yo should NOT have to worry about what she's being offered/served/eating!!! Carrie also has caught onto the notion of what shots of insulin are for. She's asked a few times...can I have more insulin so I can eat this. We hadn't gotten to the point of giving insulin based on carb intake. We'd only been covering premeal numbers with a preset formula.

Who knows....maybe she'll get on the oral meds and her numbers will fall into range. With the trouble I'm having getting them there (we're still in the high 200s after meals) I'm not optimistic. We've just been given her correction ratio (how much her numbers should drop with 1 unit of insulin) that should help.

I have other concerns too. I've been reading up on Glucophage (oral meds she'll be switched to). It's not recommended for those with liver problems. Over the last 1.5yrs the KNOT (Kids Not on Therapy...long term cancer survivor) clinic have been watching her liver function tests. They've slowly been getting worse. Her NP at KNOT was to a point where she felt we needed to explore this more thoroughly. I talked to her yesterday and she said they DEFINITELY need to recheck those numbers before prescribing the oral meds. To add to that she also informed me that her thyroid levels have been following the same trend. It's not at the "treatable" stage but something that they're watching closer now. Oh and to top things off...her lipid/cholesterol levels are HIGH! I'm to the point where I don't want anymore testing done for fear that they'll say her cancer has relapsed. I know it's an irrational thought but it's still there. Of course there will be more testing.

Carrie's had her moments but generally she's doing pretty well with all this. Her hardest times are when every spot she picks to inject is sensitive. After hitting a spot that was sensitive midshot she exclaimed...I'm NOT doing anymore of those! She also has a hard time with me cracking down on grazing/munching all day.

I thought I was doing ok with it all...until I started writing this and the truth came out. LOL I've had a few moments where I noticed I was shutting down. I'm working hard on not allowing this to happen. Danielle is a convenient (and adorable!) excuse to ignore the state of things around here. Her cuddle time is just too hard to give up in order to do dishes or laundry. :o)

Speaking of Danielle...she's CUTE and getting cuter everyday! She's gotten a lot more control of her neck muscles. I've noticed when you hold her on your shoulder she pushes off and stays pretty upright. Makes it easier for her to look all around and into everyone's face. She also is standing in our laps more often. I'm not so sure that's a great thing to encourage. ;o) I took pictures today but have to edit them on Drew's computer before I can share them. Hopefully before the weekend is over. to MAKE the kids clean their rooms. We're having 3 of my neice's over for the night tomorrow night. Oh yeah and I have baking to do for a church bakesale on Sunday. Hmmmm....what to make?

Friday, November 04, 2005

And the verdict is....

WE DON'T KNOW! They ran 3 antibody tests to see if Carrie has T1 or T2 diabetes. Only one came back sofar. Her results were the cutoff number (1.5 or .5....forgot which it was). So nothing conclusive yet. Her NP has been checking the computer all day long for the results. She said she'll call us as soon as anymore news comes in...she's just as curious as we are. Dr seems to think she's T2 and chomping at the bit to get her into his studies. During the whole appt I kept thinking...classic Carrie. Doesn't make anything medical easy or clearcut. LOL

They prescribed her Latnus (long acting for 24hrs)every night before bed to bring her overall numbers down. We are then correcting her before dinner numbers. I'm a lot happier now since they lowered when I can start correcting. Before I wasn't suppose to correct until her numbers were over 200 before dinner (only happened once). Now we correct over 100, like most people. I've been told if she is T2 they'll switch her to oral meds. I'm not so sure I want that. I feel like we have more contro with the insulin. Maybe I'm's how I felt through my pg too.

They sent Carrie home with this diabetic bear. She's adorable and a very popular addition to the family. They sent me home with an "Understanding Diabetes" book and a head full of info. I'm trying to introduce it to Tom slowly but surely.

I'm very proud of Carrie. Tonight she injected the insulin herself!!! I drew it up but she did the poking and pushing. It's so hard to get past the..."I have to poke myself" thought. It didn't take her long at all and she said it didn't hurt a bit. :o)

I'm also feeling sad for her. Because I'm not sure how she'll react to the insulin and things aren't stable right now. She'll have to miss out on spending the night at my BIL's house Saturday night. She had plans to stay there for her bestfriend/cousin's birthday. I don't think it'd be a problem if I could tell A, B, C and she should react like 1, 2, 3 (although I know it's not always predictable). It's just too much to ask of someone. To deal with the unknown with someone else's child. It's hard enough for the parent!

On Monday I'll be heading into the school nurse with a bagful of supplies and instructions. Right now though I'm going to test Carrie's sugar and head into bed.

2 month checkup

It's hard to believe Danielle is 2mos old already. Other times it seems she's been with us forever. It amazes me that the kids are still fighting over her. They are usually fighting over her before she even wakes up in the morning. They usually end up making a waiting list.

I've had a few people comment on her head control...she's sorely lacking in it. The rest of her body is strong and fine. Her favorite position to be in is on her back, especially with half her clothes off (diaper changing time). She very rarely has tummy time here. I asked the dr about it and he said it's can take some babies up to 5mos before it's really strong. PHEW! Other than that everything else was a no brainer.

Her stats are....
Weight...11lbs 13oz (birth-6lbs 9oz) I thought she'd have gained a bit more (she looks it!) Oh well, dr seemed happy with it and she has such cute chubby cheeks!
Length...23inches Her toes are getting squished into her sleepers...time to switch sizes.

She got FOUR shots! Poor thing. She's dealt with them well, although she's been pretty drowsy last night and today. Might have been the ibuprofen I gave her afterwards. She goes back in 2mos. I forgot to ask about the snuffiness and felt bad. Then last night I realized...she's not really stuffy anymore. :o)

She's gotten so friendly lately!!! Her smiles are frequent and huge. Her new thing is to stick her tongue out. When you copy her she tries to smile while doing it. You can see the corners of her mouth turn up a tiny bit and her eyes light up.

Today we're heading to the Joslin Center (JC)with Carrie. I'm hoping we'll have the answers we need to start getting aggressive with her numbers. It's bugging me to see them high and know how to correct them...but not know exactly (precise doses and such).

Last night I had a spoke too soon moment. I finally introduced myself to the Children with Diabetes Parent's list Wed night. I'd mentioned that we hadn't had to give Carrie any insulin yet, according to the JC's parameters. We're only suppose to correct at dinner and the highest blood sugar(BS)limit is pretty high...which she's never hit. UNTIL last night. I had to give her a few units before dinner. She was quite scared and crying. I tried to let her know it didn't usually hurt (then prayed I didn't hit a nerve while doing it!) Luckily for me it didn't. PHEW! She did great and I'm sure the next time it'll be easier. She even asked if she could have insulin this morning so she could have some candy. LOL (fasting was 163...not a chance for candy at that number) I told her if we get a plan ironed out tonight, it should be a lot easier for her. I also let her know she'd probably start feeling a lot better (she's been really hard to wake in the morning and just dragging).

I'll try to post an update tonight or tomorrow morning. Need to pick her up from school in about 30mins.

Monday, October 31, 2005

They're back! And so am I

THEY are the "ladybugs". The invade our house every fall and terrorize us through the winter. They're flying into our face and hair, landing on our plates, etc. The outside of the house is covered with them. All along the ceilings and lights in the livingroom and kitchen there are hundreds of them. I think they're a little late arriving, I was hoping we'd avoid them all together this year. All morning I've had the ladybug picnic song (from Sesame Street) going through my head.

My computer is back but with limited capabilities. I have NO sound and only minimal graphics (640x480pixels and only 16 colors). I can still read though. :o) The graphics problem makes enjoying all the pics difficult though.

Update on Carrie. We were seen at the Joslin Center last Wed. They're assumption with a child this age is that they are a Type 1 diabetic until bloodwork proves them wrong. The dr did admit with our medical history (family is riddled with type 2s) she could be Type 2. They've given her some fast acting insulin to be administered when her before dinner numbers are off the roof (even for a diabetic). We haven't had to use it yet, although her numbers after eating are still in the upper 200's. They're being pretty liberal with her treatment until they have some set answers about her. We were suppose to be seen in 1.5 wks which is Friday. Because they want her to also see the dietician on the same day it was going to be 2 wks before she could be seen. I realized later that day that the appt she gave us was THREE weeks away (Oct 16th), not 2. So I need to call and get an earlier appt even if it means we can't see the dietician.

I do have to say that she's doing really well with this news. I saw concern on her face when they were talking about things. I've only talked to her in terms of type 2 so some things were a little more then she was prepared for. She's a bit scared about the shots (as is everyone else) but I think once she's done it once or twice she'll be fine. She tests herself and even knows when to test for ketones (in her urine...when numbers are too high). I noticed at the Harvest feast at church on Saturday she skipped the cupcakes and sweet desserts and opted for the chips. I had a bit more to teach her about carbs it seems. I'm trying to get her to understand that a carb is a carb...whether sweet or salty.

My main concern is not making her afraid to eat all together, which I've seen signs of. Last week at the church potluck she begged me to go through line with her because, "I don't know what I can eat". I saw a look of mild "panic" on her face when she stepped on the scale at the ped's office last Thursday. (has strep nose instead of strep throat) Seems she gained a pound since they weighed her 2wks ago. I've been trying to drill into her that it's not a big deal!!! Hard to really blame her since I see a lot of myself in her reaction.

My weight has stuck around the 190lb mark. I haven't been sticking with my food plan or exercising. I'm hoping to get back into things this week although Halloween candy will be tempting me! I'll have a neat announcement later in the week concerning LOK/TOK and weightloss.

Today is a busy one with Halloween parades and parties at school. We're then headed into the city to both Tom's and my parents houses. I'm taking Liz on down with me afterschool for an evening of pizza and trick or treating. We'll go into my mom and dad's house first and go around their block. Then headed to Tom's with most of his brothers and sisters and their families. We'll hit the houses around her house too. Carrie is excited as this is her favorite holiday. Unfortunately she won't be pigging out like normally. Saturday night at church I had to get on her case about putting her candy bag away. Poor thing. I told her not to waste her candy allowance on the cheap stuff like suckers and hard candy. Hit the candy bars while she can! LOL We'll save the more sugary stuff for when/if she goes on insulin and needs to treat a low.

Pat has a new permanent job at Subway. At first I thought it would be bogus, working parttime when he should be working fulltime. He has been working a lot more hours then I thought he would. It's also for a lower pay thne he'd been getting working temp jobs. One of the reasons he wanted this job is that they'll work around his schedule once he goes back to classes...good point. Drew has worked here and there but nothing long term or permanent. He's more motivated to go for the longterm jobs now that Pat seems to have settled in. I just wish I knew WHAT was up with their schooling! I don't get too many straight answers from Drew. Pat says he's headed back in January. Fingerscrossed on this.

Enough rambling for now. I'm sure I'll have lots of fun stuff to report tomorrow after I'm done ransacking the kids candy bags. ;o)

OOPS! I forgot to give a Danielle report! She's getting more adorable everyday. She's 2mos old as of the 26th and getting bigger by the second. Her favorite thing to do at home is to laugh and coo and make cute smiley faces at everyone. While out in public she's still a bit uneasy. At church on Saturday she was the most alert she's been. Not "sleeping" to block things out so much. She didn't really want to make too much eye contact with anyone, including me while there though. Near the end of the night she was a little more friendlier with everyone. I think a lot of people were starting to wonder if things were ok with her for a bit. I've never had a kid who coped by "sleeping" and it is a bit weird to be dealing with her too. I do see her doing it less and less as time goes on though. She even decided to SCREAM during my quick (but not quick enough obviously) trip through K-mart last Wed. A first for her.

Hope to get some batteries charged and take some pictures to post soon. It's a bit difficult to do pictures on this computer so I'll have to do it through Drew's.

Monday, October 17, 2005

Sorry for the inconvenience

I apologize to all the real people. I have had to make commenting more difficult by turning on word verification. This means that you'll have another step in the commenting process. I hope it doesn't deter anyone real from posting to me (I LOVE to hear from everyone!)

The problem is that I was getting blasted with SPAM! Friday night instead of posting here I had to spend my online time deleteing about 30 bogus comments throughout my blog. Minutes after I posted below and before I could turn on word verification, I got hit again!

I was SO wrong!

Not only did I continue to have computer problems. I now have a computer which is only good for playing solitare, freecycle, minesweep, etc. I reformatted and borrowed someone's Win2K Pro to install. It installed alright but I can't install any drivers for my monitor or modem and such. UGH!!! I'm hoping to buy a new full version OS at the end of the week. I WANT MY COMPUTER BACK!

Things have been a little topsy turvy here lately...mostly dealing with Carrie. I had to take her back into the dr's last Thurs. She managed to bruise her tailbone on the school bus. She landed on a seatbelt buckle when she plopped herself into her seat. OUCH! It's doing well now. With the kids having Columbus Day off last Monday I decided to use the weekend to monitor Carrie's sugar. It was off the roof! No reading was lower then 150's (even fasting...which is suppose to be under 100). After meals she was consistently in the 2 and 300's!!! I showed the ped her numbers and he agreed she had type 2 diabetes. We are being referred to the local Joslin Center (diabetes clinic).

We've been really watching what she eats this weekend and her numbers look a bit better but not great. Even if they were normal with this diet...I'm not sure she could maintain this level of carb counting very long. She's been a real trooper and seems to have a decent grasp of the concepts. I've got to switch my thinking around too. I sent her to girl's craft at church Friday night. They have a snack afterwards which is usually sugary koolaid/juice boxes, cookies, chips, etc. It didn't even occur to me that she'd be given these things. She drank the juice (which was only about 6oz..phew!) turned down the cupcake, took two cookies then proceeded to give one away and leave the other on the table. Not too shabby for her first solo run. :o) If it'd been chips I don't think she'd have done so well. I'm going to have to start sending her with her own special drinks and snacks. At least she can tolerate alternative sweetners (splenda, nutrasweet) and doesn't think they taste horrible. She'll have a lot more alternatives available to her then I did/do.

Luke informed me this morning that he's on a mission. His mission is to not miss a day of school or a homework assignment. I commended him on the homework mission. Then informed him that not staying home when you're sick isn't a good idea for him or other kids at school who he'd infect. We joked he could ride the bus, go to homeroom then immediately to the nurse's office to have me come pick him up. LOL

Danielle is getting BIG! We went to church yesterday and everyone couldn't get over how much she's filled out since they saw her last. She's got pinchable/kissable cheeks. LOL She's still fighting the snuffles. Her eczema comes and goes but never gets very bad or stays around for long. In the last week she's started giving deliberate bright eyed smiles along with goo'ing, gaa'ing and gurgling. She's just TOO CUTE!

I've held off mentioning it here but Danielle is going to have a playmate! My SIL D is 9wks pg with #16!!! Woohoooo! I can't wait until she gets past 12 or 15wks so she can relax a little more. These first few months are SO hard after you've had multiple m/c's. She is feeling pretty icky and tired. I'm glad she is but in the same breath wishing she didn't have to.

I've been fighting an infection for a week. I had an infection in my armpit. I've been feeling like I'm fighting the flu this whole time. MW put me on antibiotics on Thurs which didn't seem to be helping. (TMI and icky stuff alert) Last night I finally got it to start draining and I'm feeling MUCH better today! It still has a way to go before it's gone but it's a start. I was starting to think I was going to have to go back in to get it lanced.

Tom's been on call this week and has worked a ton of overtime. I'm happy to see the extra $, it allows us to catch up on things. I still hate for him to be gone so much. In one sense I can't wait for him to retire (hopefully within 10yrs) and be home all the time. In another sense I'm not so sure it's a good idea to be so anxious for it. LOL Too much of a good thing.

Well need to go take care of some things around here. Hope to update again SOON!

Tuesday, October 04, 2005

Had computer problems but I'm here now!

I THINK I've resolved the computer problems. For the last 2wks I've had my computer giving me fits whenever I tried to post. Before that started it was the kids closing my browser after I'd been away from the computer for a while (I know...use the "Save as Draft" button!) To save on length I'll do a person by person bulletin update.

Danielle is 5.5wks old now and getting bigger everyday! It's sad to see her growing up but it's also exciting. This morning she showed glimpses of her beautiful smile she'll be sharing with us. I love when their eyes light up. She's dealing with a stuffy nose and has eczema on most of her face. Today it looks like a lot of is cleared up, I'm hoping it continues. The kids are still clamoring to hold her and continue to drive me crazy.

Drew and Pat are working through a temp agency. Drew's job is over but he's hoping to get another one this week. According to Pat his job is open for as long as he wants to work there. :o) It's nice to see them have money again, even if they never showed an inkling of missing it.

Michelle is an adult now! She turned 18 on Sunday. We had a "celebration" on and off all weekend. LOL She went to the high school to get info on taking her ACT tests. It's good to see her start thinking about college. Her and Pat are shopping for a campus to attend.

Val is busy as usual (too busy actually) She's loving and doing great at school. Her and F celebrated their 1yr anniversary on Saturday. He gave her a really beautiful diamond and aquamarine ring (it's JUST a ring as I've been told). Yesterday her friend E came over for a few minutes. She hasn't been in school yet because she's been in and out of the hospital (3 admissions so far). They're waiting on test results but think she has Hodgkin's Disease She looked SO tired! :o(

Liz has been busy with church weekends and soccer practices. This weekend is the semi-annual soccer tournament at church, with fellowships from all over the US and Canada competeing. As usual it's looking to be a cold wet weekend. :o( Hopefully that'll change as it gets closer.

Luke is doing SO much better with school! He hasn't had a lot of homework and is doing it on his own! :oD It's so nice to not have to bug and nag him all night. I have to get him into the dr's. He's been complaining on and off that his ankle and knee are bothering him.

Carrie went back to the dr's. We've decided to hold off on trying to draw blood again. She'll be getting blood drawn at the KNOT clinic in January so we'll have her A1C added on then. Sue may decide to do a 2hr GTT (glucose tolerance test) also. Dr G thought is that testing her sugar at home occassionally is adequate for now. Her levels aren't off the roof and he's told me what symptoms to watch for. If they show up I'm to bring her right back in. Her knee is a calcified hematoma. As long as it's not hurting her or impedeing her movement then we're just watching it. If it starts bothering her or increases in size she's to back in.

Jake is Jake ;o) He's full of energy and is one of the major Danielle hogs. (or tries to be) He's really enjoying and taking advantage of the beautiful weather. He really wishes we hadn't been so foolish as to have shut down the pool so soon. LOL

Eileen is a different person at school this year. We went to the elementary school open house on Thursday night. She is now been pegged a leader! Her teacher told me she heard all about my baby shower and the new baby. THIS from a girl who didn't tell her teacher last year that her mom was pg or that she was one of 10 kids! The stress of the spelling tests has lifted (so far...fingerscrossed). Her first 3 tests she's scored...100, 90 (wrote a "p" backwards), and 100.

Olivia is loving school also. She talked about her friend Paige for 2wks. I was then's not Paige mommy! It's SAGE! LOL She hit a big milestone last week when she was allowed to take out a library book for the week.

Tom went camping with our neighbor this last weekend. I felt weird about him going and have NO idea why. He's often been away when I've had a newborn and it's never bothered me. This time I kept looking for him to pull into the driveway...even though I knew he wouldn't be. A car would come down the road and I'd get excited for a second. Then I'd remember he was away and wasn't coming. He came home early on Sunday and put me out of my misery. It was nice to have him back. I like where we are in our relationship right now. :oD

Me...I'm doing well. I haven't been tracking my meals due to the computer problems and it's showing. I find without the numbers infront of my face I tend to sabotage myself eventually. :o( I'm yo-yo'ing between 188 and 193. In itself not too shabby but I'd prefer to see the numbers continue their downward trend. It's really bugging me that I'm not getting the exercise like I planned on. I'm waiting for some extra $$ to get WATP (walk away the pounds) and/or WP (winsor pilates) DVDs. We're hoping to get a membership to the local Rec Center soon. I'll be able to walk the track, swim and if I get really ambitious...workout in the weightroom. I'm still amazed at how much food is in the house affects my mood. I'm totally giddy after a grocery shopping trip. By the end of the pay period I have a black cloud hanging over me. I have to admit that this pay period I am doing a lot better. I think it's due to having preplanned things and made sure I had supplies for special things to last the 2wks. Also helps that I've had the gumption to actually MAKE special things. LOL

I hope it won't be weeks before I can update again! I'm ending this now before I have to rewrite this a SEVENTH time! Hope to have some pics to post soon too.

Monday, September 19, 2005

Long and busy Sunday

So much for winding down on the weekends. Yesterday was spent running and moving. We went to church at 11 (well, 15mins 11:15) After church it was back home to do laundry, eat lunch and do homework. Then back out the door at 6:30 to go back the meeting hall. The ladies at church threw Danielle and I a baby shower!!!

OMGoodness! Danielle is now the best dressed baby in the world!

All her new sleepers
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3 sleepers came as a set with bib, hat, burp diaper...solid, striped, print
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Her outfits including sleep sack, sleep/blanket bag, nightgown, and 2 dresses
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Miscellaneous things...lots of blankets (white one at the left top of the chair is the SOFTEST flannel I've felt...made by a 14yo girl), GoGoRider baby carrier, lots of onsies and socks.
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I'm afraid that I'll never get some of the outfits on her before she gets too big. Hopefully having arranged them according to size will help make sure that doesn't happen.

Danielle was passed around and enjoyed by all. She faked us out by "sleeping" the whole time. Every once in a while we'd catch her peeking out from under her eyelids. :o) We had lots of yummy snacks, I didn't eat dinner before I left and was starving! I can't really track everything I ate so not sure how I did on my foodplan caloriewise. Oh well guess I can call it an off tracker day. Just wish I'd realized this in the MORNING! Yeah, like I've had on tracker days and deserve a day of gluttony right now.

Saturday, September 17, 2005

Stupid Pie!

OK...I spoke too soon. While typing the post below last night I was eating pie. Problem is.....I never checked the nutritional information on the box until AFTER I'd eaten them. Yes them. I'd had 1/16 of a small pie of Apple, Peach and Cherry pie. Then I ate Jake's 1/8th piece he didn't want. *blush* As I was going to get a piece of cherry pie that I REALLY wanted (reason I bought the clearance pies in the first place) I decided to look at the nutritional info. I didn't end up eating the piece of cherry pie. :o(

According to fitday I had eaten just under 900 cals in pie alone!!! Whodathunk? So much for following my diabetes diet. Unlike during my pregnancy it seems I'm going to really have to watch nighttime snacking. I knew it was a problem before I got pg. I thought I was done with it during my pg. Now it's back. Wouldn't you know it...when I got up this morning the rest of the pies were taunting me from their boxes. They didn't win...not totally. (it was only a teeny tiny nibble..really) LOL

Today has been busy but nonproductive. I've been online all day. First it was shopping for a dryer, then it was doing finances, now it's here. I even started playing with the webspace my ISP gives me. Don't ask me what I'm going to do with it...I have NO clue! I haven't even put my exercise dvds in the DVD player yet. LOL Tom just left to rescue Drew. Seems his car is broken down about 45mins away. The rest of the kids are bickering and/or driving me crazy trying to take Danielle from me...asking me a zillion times a day if they can hold her.

Now I'm sitting here, feeling hungry and not having any ideas as to what dinner will be. Oh yeah, Eileen got a 100 +bonus on her spelling test this week. She's off to a good start!

Friday, September 16, 2005

Just so I wouldn't relax TOO much

The radiologist had to drop a bit of news into my lap. The bump on the side of Carrie's knee is solid in nature. *heavy sigh* He asked if I'm sure she didn't have the bump there before she fell in June (what we said caused the bump in the first place). I told him I'm pretty sure. Of course this left me with unwanted thoughts running through the back of my mind. If it's truly from her fall then it's most likely a calcified hematoma (bruise). If it's's a growth/tumor which doesn't necessarily have to be malignant. He called in the report to Dr G...we'll talk about it at Carrie's appt next Friday. The radiologist mentioned that the oncology clinic will want to know about and keep an eye on this also.

While talking to S, Carrie's Nurse Practioner at the KNOT clinic, she let me know that she's also been watching Carrie's liver function. Her liver function panel (bloodwork) has been slightly elevated for 1.5yrs. If it was still elevated next Jan. when we went back in we were going to move onto a new level of "watching" it. I never mentioned it to Dr G on Wed because there was already a lot of things I wanted to talk to him about. I think I'll mention it next Friday.

I'm trying to be at rest about all this and not let my mind run away on me. It's hard though...especially when I have the internet sitting at my fingertips. I know enough not to go looking too far, otherwise I'd become a basketcase.

We went to Walmart after the imaging center. I needed dishwasher detergent...yeah...$50+ later! LOL I remembered other things we needed while walking around. (really...we did need it, most of it anyways) Walking around WM is NOT a good thing to do when you're feeling a little shaken and need a quick pick me up. We ended up in my favorite section...small kitchen appliances and gadgets and there were neat things in the clearance section! I was a good girl and kept my hands to myself. I do have my eye on a nice blender. Next week is payday and I'll see if there's any left if I get groceries there.

Something I didn't REALLY need but really wanted is a scale. For some reason my digital one has lost a lot of it's numbers. After testing some out with Carrie as the weight, I bought the cheapest dial one there. I figure I can buy 3 of them for the price of a midpriced digital (like the broken one I have). We had a mass weigh-in when I got home.

For the first time in a loooong time (at least 7yrs) I am now under 200lbs!!!! I weighed 197!!!! As part of my new healthier me kick I'm going to try to report my weigh-ins on Mondays. I'd also like to get some measurements since I think I may want to concentrate on toning more then weightloss. I set a new goal weightloss goal for myself on my fitday PC program. I'm not looking to weigh 175 by Christmas (14wks away!) I'm not really sure I want to do this. I'm worried that I'll not make my goal and get too discouraged. I tried to stick to my diabetes diet today. The day got off to an iffy start with some micro popcorn tempting me after I already had eaten my breakfast allowance. I did good the rest of the day.

Oh cool! Drew had mentioned there were some dvds in his room. I knew one was a "generic" pilates/yoga. I just had Michelle go and bring them to me to evaluate again. There are 4 of The Firm ones in there!!! (Total sculpt plus Abs, Complete Aerobics & Weight training, Firm Abs, and Maximum Cardio Burn Plus Abs). I forgot that I'd gotten them. I think they'll suffice and may even take over my desire to buy the Winsor Pilates dvds. I'll have to view and try them out. One of things I'm not so hot on is that they are 40mins long compared to WP's 20min workouts. Also I don't have the Firm's Fannylifter (stair step), sculpting stick (which I've read isn't a good idea to use) or dumbbells. I'll have to improvise I guess. I'll report on them after I try them out.

Thursday, September 15, 2005

Being a little self centered for a while...

I'll include misc. news at the end too...just so it's TOTALLY not all about me. LOL

I've been wanting to start toward a healthier body. I told myself that I'd stick with my diabetic diet. Even if I'm not a type 2 diabetic...I'm on the brink of it and it's only a matter of time. So I may as well get into the thick of things now instead of after the fact. Well so much for that, it's almost 3wks and I've barely followed it, I've also barely tested my glucose levels. I do a fasting test EVERY mornign it's not totally bad. From what I can see I'm at pre-diabetic levels with fastings from 102 to 127...a lot in the 1teens range. I'm not really sure what this dr will do. I know my GP would be agressive about it because as he says..."with your family's best" My bloodpressure is also borderline even with me taking meds. I'm getting a lot of 140/90 readings. I'm nursing so can't take my old bp meds which did a fine job controlling things. I'm not sure I can be upped on what I'm taking now.

I've been wanting to step on a scale and missed the chance at the Ped's office yesterday. I'm really curious where my weight is. I feel like all I'm doing is eating and I'm still always hungry. I'm always like this after delivery. Just hope that it's not negatively affecting me right now. I'm feeling like I lost a significant amount. My jeans skirt is a lot looser on me then it was in December when I bought it. I'm just not sure if it's due to weight/inches lost or that I stretched it out a lot, wearing it while pg (it was my main skirt for my whole pg). My mom insists denim doesn't stretch that much but I'm not so sure about that POV. I know that I lost some inches...just not sure if it's the 3 my skirt waistband is hinting at.

The dr mentioned yesterday that Carrie needs to try to lose the weight in her gut area. He's not saying she's overweight and needs to diet (although sticking close to a diabetic diet would be a good idea for her)...she just has to watch what area the weight is distributed to. We've known that she was going to have to be more active then normal in order to stay in shape (her bone marrow transplant has messed up her metabolism) I've had my eye on Ebay for Walk away the Pounds (WATP) and Winsor Pilates (WP) videos/dvds. I asked Carrie if she'd be interested in doing them with me in the morning and she seemed encouraged to try it out. :o) I'm also hoping Michelle will be joining us. Next step is to actually BUY them!

The girls took a pic of me this weekend. I was laughing because when looking at it all I could see was my wide arms. I guess that's a good thing when the body part that bothers you most is your arms. Especially since it used to be my "pg looking even when not pg" belly. Here's the pic (don't mind the tired face). I'm also posting a picture from last Sept. I want to try on this outfit now but haven't gotten to it yet. (also have my one piece control panel undergarmet on in last year's pic)

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left...9/05 right...9/04

Hope to be able to post a pic next Sept with a HUGE difference to show.


** Drew and Pat have jobs! They are going through a temp agency (all factories around here hire through them now). The job is at a box making factory making $9 an hour. The amount of hours and days they work isn't set in stone yet (have to call tomorrow) and will vary. They already called Pat today and asked him to work 11hrs. Problem was...he needed to be there in half an hour. He wasn't ready to walk out the door and it takes at least 20-30 mins to get there.

** I put Danielle on the dr's baby scale yesterday. She now weighs 8lbs even! Not too shabby. She still looks like she has nothing to her. LOL She's starting to be more intuned to those of us around here.

** Eileen seems to be ok about school...for now. She was iffy the first week. Tomorrow is her first spelling test. Unlike last year when she was in tears over it...she thinks this year it's a breeze. LOL Could it be because she's already BTDT ;o)

I'm sure there was more misc news I wanted to report on but can't think of it now. Have to get ready to go out the door for Carrie's x-rays.

Holy Heavy Eyelids Batman!

*inserts toothpicks* I'm dragging today. Yesterday proved to be one of those days when being a parent is exhausting, no matter how many kids you have. lol I'd decided to get my act together and make my OB appt. I'm suppose to go in 3wks PP so we could make some decisions about my blood pressure meds and whether there's a type 2 diabetes or no diabetes situation. I'm at a lost as to what I think he'll do about either. My appt is the 23rd.

Tues night I'd checked Carrie blood sugar after dinner and got 253! This led to me checking her fasting number yesterday morning...157...WAY to high! Since I was getting my act together about MY dr's appts, I decided to be on the ball about this with Carrie. I called Sue up at the KNOT (Kids not on Therapy) Clinic to see if she'd been keeping track of her A1c levels. She hadn't but had tested her urine for glucose. It's always been negative but to me that doesn't mean much since my MIL had glucose numbers in the 300-400 range and never threw glucose in her urine. She's also only tested her glucose blood levels which were borderline or a tad high (and she'd rationalized it to eating cookies at the clinic, etc). She suggested that I contact her ped and have him run some tests. So I called for an appt...hoping to get her in on the 23rd when I had my appt (have to conserve gas!). They had me bring her in at 4:30 that afternoon!

It took a while for us to be seen (usually does at that time of the day since the dr takes his own sweet time with each patient). He took FOREVER with us! I got a referral for a Dermatologist consult since she's at a high risk of skin cancer due to having Total Body Irradiation during her bone marrow transplant. He was checking her over and asked if "this" was what I was concerned about...pointing to a mole on her back. I said no, THIS is the spot that I've been watching for 3yrs. He says....Oh yeah that definitely would cause me more concern then the spot I originially saw. YIKES! So now I'm wondering just how much of a fielddays the Derm is going to have with her. He also said he wanted to get an xray of a bump she's had on her knee since June (fell down and hit it at the end of school). He's wondering if she has a bonechip in there. He took forever to try to get a good vein to take the blood for her glucose and A1C tests. Nothing looked good so he reluctantly attempted to draw it from her hand. She was being VERY stingy and he couldn't get more then 3ccs no matter what and how much he tried. She was a real trooper through the whole thing even though I know it hurt. She's being reseen on the 23rd after my dr appt. We finally got out of there at 7 and went right home.

I'd forgotten that Tom had a clambake to attend and wasn't coming right home. None of the kids took the incentive to cook since they will be home in a few minutes. I hadn't given instructions on what to make since I thought we'd be home fairly quickly or Tom could figure something out. So I walk in the door at 7:25 and start to make dinner. While standing at the stove I see Carrie walking toward the fridge and then hear her scream. She's bleeding from her foot all over the floor. I grab a washcloth and have Drew carry her to the couch. She sliced her big toe open pretty deeply. Seems her foot came down on a half filled garbage bag that was sitting on the floor next to the fridge (when it's too full for the garbage can it then is taken out and sits around for a day or so so we can fill it further) She must have caught the edge of a 28oz can lid. I didn't see where the can lid sliced the garbage bag but it's the only thing that could have done that type of damage that easily. So here it is now at 7:40 and I'm planning on making a trip to the ER.

Liz volunteers to sit with Carrie,applying pressure to her toe and I get back to making dinner. It's 10mins to 8, the kids haven't eaten, some JUST started their homework and bedtime in coming up QUICKLY! I got ahold of Tom who is pulling out of the clambake parking lot. The bleeding has slowed down a lot but it's restarting as soon as you let up pressure or she moves her toe. I calm her down, we eat, I feed and change Danielle and try to direct the kids toward bed. By the time we finally get out the door (Michelle came to help out) and get to the hospital it's about 10. Carrie was triaged around 12:30 and we were called into an exam room about 2. She ended up with 3 stitches, I think he should have given her 4 but what do I know. We pulled into our driveway about 3am *yawn*

The dr's office called this morning. Carrie has an appt for her xray at 4 today (so much for trying to conserve gas), her derm appt is in Oct but is for 8:30am. There's NO way I can do that since I have to get kids on the bus at that I'll have to reschedule. Oh yeah and Dr G put a note in to let you know...the blood drawn wasn't good enough to do a A1C (it clotted) so he'll redo it on the 23rd. He'll also remove Carrie's stitches on the 23rd. LOL It's less then 7hrs after she gets the put in and they man already has the removal all arranged. I love this guy!

Luckily Danielle cooperated both at the ER and once we got home. I tried to go back to bed once I got the older kids up for first trip. Luke decided to try to take advantage of it and stay in bed. Val realized what he was doing with 5mins left until the bus comes. I had to get up, put on my meany mask and make him go to school. I guess everyone is dragging a little...the first full week of school is always one of the hardest.

Friday, September 09, 2005

Happy due date to me!

I pregnancy is done...OVER! *sniff sniff* Please let me have this one last sliver of pregnancy. Believe it or not, I miss being pregnant. I miss my belly, being able to give it a loving rub. I miss having the baby all to myself. To be able to feel her kick and move around and not have to share it with anyone. It was just her and I. The mystery of the unknown...what she was going to look like, how big she was going to be, what her temperament was going to be like. It's all out in the open now.

Don't get me wrong....I LOVE having Danielle in my life and in my arms. (when I get a chance to hold her in my arms that is lol) I'm so glad she's here, and I know that the last 2wks would have been hard and uncomfortable...especially if I was still on bedrest. She's the light of our life and everyone is still over the moon about her. I don't think there's been a baby who's been passed around so much in their short little life.

I often think about her delivery, how difficult it was to relax through it, but also how easy overall it was. It's fun to relive it now that I'm not in the midst of it. Funny how my brain has totally erased her being blue for so long from the experience.

Danielle is one of the best babies I've ever had. She's calm and quiet most of the time. I sometimes think she's TOO calm and quiet for my comfort. Yesterday she was up most of the day and slept all night! I tried to nurse her in the wee morning hours but she didn't stay latched on and fell right back to sleep. Of course I didn't sleep all night. I still had to wake up a zillion times to check to make sure she was safe and still breathing. Today she was semi sleepy but I think being in Walmart for hours had to do with that.

I've had to use not being able to hold Danielle against some of the kids. It's amazing how quickly they move when you tell them how long it'll be before they can hold her again if they don't move. Yesterday Eileen stayed home from school (YES! Already!). She claimed her arms and legs hurt her, after ibuprofen it was then that she a fever (she didn't) and was going to barf. I let her know if she stayed home from school she wouldn't be allowed to hold Danielle for the WHOLE day. She thought she could handle that...about 5pm she realized just how hard that was going to be. This morning the first thing out of her mouth was...Can I hold the baby! I didn't get to hold her ALL day yesterday! It was also her excuse to hold her for an extra long time. We've since talked and she's assured me she won't be staying home from school anymore. LOL

I'm nursing Danielle while typing this up. Olivia in the meantime is trying to pry her from my arms, insisting she's done! Guess I better stop typing so I can save Danielle from being shorted on her dinner. I'm still behind on Jake's and Carrie's birth stories...I'm hoping to get them out this weekend.

Wednesday, September 07, 2005

First day of school

2nd trips kids
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Olivia, Eileen and Jake

I felt bad this morning. I was so busy making sure everything was ok that I forgot it was Carrie's birthday! She had to remind me. Michelle made a cake and I'm making her some chinese dishes for dinner. Not sure exactly what yet, guess I should figure it out since I have to start it SOON!

As I thought would happen, Danielle decided she needed mommy when the 2nd trip kids were getting ready for school. Luckily Michelle was available to help me get their lunches ready. I had to chuckle at how long it took her to do it though. She's such a perfectionist.

It wasn't very quiet here. Pat, Drew and Michelle made sure of that. They even sucked me into a game of Halo 2 while Danielle was sleeping....when I should've been napping or working. I really have to kick their rears out the door to find a job!!! At least they are doing work around here to help out. Incase I was lonely, Tom called me a few times. :o)

It seems to have gone well for the kids. Olivia said she's made some friends but she can't remember their names. I assured her that her friends had forgotten her name also. LOL The big thing today was playing with the blocks. Eileen has mentioned a few new friends, some in class, some on the bus. MY pile of homework is impressive as always. My hand will be cramped by the time I'm done. As soon as they walked in the door they were all falling over each other to get to hold Danielle.

1st trip kids
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Carrie, Luke, Liz, and Val

Tuesday, September 06, 2005

The madness begins...

The madness known as the SCHOOLYEAR! Tomorrow is the first day of school for my kids. Tonight is the madness of trying to conform to a schedule, get and keep everything together and of course the all important...figuring out outfits. I have had school supply lists since the end of July. Wouldn't you know it, LAST NIGHT they got into them and now a few are lost! Grrrr! Today Olivia's teacher had a "meet the teacher" day. I had NO idea what time it started...I thought 1-2pm although D said their teacher was doing it 2-3pm. So I made the decision to go at 1:45. I figured we'd either hit the end of it or have to wait a few minutes for it to start. We hit the end.

Olivia is SO excited now!!! She was so big. The teacher gave her a clipboard with a list of things to find in the room. Each thing listed there had a Blue's Clue Pawprint on it, when she'd find it, she'd color in the pawprint on the paper. Was a good exercise to become familiar with the room. She looked so professional carrying the clipboard around. :o) On the way home she kept saying...I can't wait until tomorrow! Guess I don't have to worry about her balking when the bus pulls up. Let's just hope it lasts Her room is right across the hall from Eileen's. I made sure the teacher knew it. We also ran into Eileen's room so Olivia could see where Eileen would be sitting.

Right now the kids are searching for their supply lists so they can make sure they have everything they need. Then it's onto the outfits for the day. Not having a dryer I'll end up having to iron a few things tonight. The only thing we need to think about after that is lunches. After we were done at school today we stopped at Save-a-Lot for a few lunch supplies.

Olivia keeps coming up to me and telling me...Remember HAVE to get me up in the morning. Don't forget to get me up! I told her I wasn't going to wake her up because I didn't want her to go. If I'd said that to Eileen before her first day of K or 1st grade she would have taken me up on it and stayed home! LOL

Oops...forgot they need showers. Need to kick some kids into the bathroom. I guess Olivia and Eileen can wait until morning. I need to find my camera and charge the batteries so I can take pics tomorrow morning. It's going to be interesting, Danielle seems to have an awake period during the prime time school getting ready time. I keep reminding myself that I've lived through this before with Carrie. I'm feeling a bit off today. I'm really crampy and had a bit more bleeding then I
ve had in the last few days. At least my shoulder and neck aren't bothering me anymore. Hopefully this new ickiness is short lived.

K, need to get to the ironing.

Sunday, September 04, 2005

She's official

Well partly official. We received Danielle's birth certificate in the mail yesterday. I wasn't expecting it so quickly. She'll be fully official once her social security card gets here. It's nice to know people will believe me she was born, now that I have the documentation. LOL

Today we're heading out to my uncle's house for the day. It's our annual Labor Day family clambake (my dad's siblings...he's one of 13 children, and their families). I think this has been going on for 39 or 40 years now....might even be more. It'll be fun to go and show off Danielle. It's suppose to be slightly cooler then normal, I hope it's not too chilly for her since we'll be outside all day and evening. The kids are excited even though they really know few people. They always seem to connect with a few of my cousin's kids or grandkids. Weird to think of my cousins as being grandparents, although technically it's not farfetched for me to be one myself. They already have their master egg and waterballoon toss strategy planned out (gentle and arcing throw) and are talking about exactly what they'll be eating (steamed clams, corn on the cobs, salt potatoes, coneys!!!...yummm!).

Need to get ready.

Saturday, September 03, 2005

I found it!!!

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Danielle has liked her hands since she was born. Today she found her thumb for the first time...and she's done it more then once.

Great news here!

Val talked to DA late last night. His mom called! EVERYONE is ok! I'm not sure where they are or how everything is for them. After I heard they were all OK I didn't ask for further details. I'm so happy for DA, he finally broke down crying when talking to his mom. He's been so brave.

Friday, September 02, 2005

Our first week

I've started this post a zillion times this week. Either my brain freezes up, I decide I'm too tired to type rationally, or Danielle is in my arms (forgot how hard it was to type with a squirmy newborn lol)

I'm always amazed that something so small can throw so many people for a complete loop. Danielle has made us all gaagaa around here. All day long I have someone clamoring to hold her and then squabbles about who's turn it is, how long someone's had her, etc. For the first time I've started to look forward to school starting (Sept 7th)...just so I can hold MY baby without being bothered. LOL

I've found that I was wrong, a 5yr age gap does NOT stop you from calling the baby the youngest kid's name. I often find myself having to stop and think before I say her name. Maybe I'll just change her name to Oldanielle for convenience's sake. ;o) I guess it's better then what the little kids call her....IT! It started with Jake asking if he could hold it. The funniest was last Saturday when they were climbing over each other to get a chance to hold her (we'd just gotten home). I heard someone call out....Can I play with it next?!?!

She's such a good baby...she hardly cries. I tried to get her crying on video, grabbed my camera and realized I had room on my video card for 11secs of video. She didn't cry long enough to use all 11secs. Me on the otherhand, the waterworks started Wed night, Thursday morning. I even started crying when Tom brought me a cup of coffee one morning. LOL It's not so bad though, I've had worse cases of the blues in the past. A new thing for me though is the shakes. Wed morning I woke up feeling really shakey. I checked my blood pressure and sugar...both weren't that great but not so bad as to make me feel weird. I continued all day. I was talking to D and told her how lousy I felt, she said it's happened to her and the dr said it was hormones. Makes sense I guess.

Other then an occasional random cry the only other complaint I have is that I have a pinched nerve or knotted muscle in my shoulder and neck...from holding Danielle all night I assume. It makes enjoying the time I do get to hold her difficult.I'm sitting here with a rice sock wrapped around my neck as I type. Poor Tom usually has me whining to him each night to try to knead the pain out.

My milk came in faster then I thought it would...I think it was Sunday. Danielle is nursing well. I was concerned that she wasn't nursing on the right side but I think it was just a matter of being too engorged for her to latch on properly. She doesn't do as well on the right side as the left (none of my kids do) but she's emptying it now, so that's good. I've come to realize that bodacious tatas make a big difference in how you appear. My belly hasn't looked this small in years! LOL Too bad they came with a price...OUCH!!! Just having the kids hug me was torture!

I'm starting to get back into the swing of things around here. The amazing thing is the desire to get back into it. Tom has had all week off and been doing a lot of work around here. It's gotten contagious. I wanted to get the laundryroom cleaned up and all the clothes sorted, washed and put away before school started. It's a HUGE job!!! Luckily Tom wants to get it done we're all working on it. Unfortunately the dryer isn't cooperating. I guess we're going to have to buy a new one...hopefully next week. It just irks me that this dryer hasn't even lasted 2.5yrs! (bought it in March of 2003) I'm getting back into my wanting to do everything at once mode though. I want to bake (did make cookies and a few things for dinner), sew (machine is taunting me from the corner of the livingroom), and get things organized...typical beginning of school/fall starting type of activities.

I can't post without mentioning Katrina and the devastation she's inflicted on the south. My thoughts and prayers go out to everyone effected by this terrible thing. I sit here and look at pictures online (no live news stations to watch...which is probably a blessing for me at this point) and think... What would I do? How would I take care of a newborn and 10 other kids in that sitation. It's not even a matter of being ignorant and staying in your home. It's a matter of not being able to do anything else but stay there....whether it be because of finances or just plain inablilty to do it. Even if we did get out and were safe...WHAT would we do then?

Michelle and Val have a friend DA who lives down the street. He moved up here last year from the area that was hit. He's living with his grandmother...his mother, other grandparents, sisters and her girls still live down there in the Gulfport area. Last he heard from them was Sunday morning when his sister called crying...she was in her car. It had broken down on the way out of town and she didn't know what she was going to do. His grandfather was in the hospital with pneumonia before the hurricane hit, he's not sure if he was still admitted when it hit. DA has NO idea if they got out or if they survived. As of last night they still hadn't heard from anyone. :o( Poor kid was so distraught last Sunday after his sister's phone call that he asked to come down here and spend the day. I felt helpless, even more so when I talked to his grandmother two days ago and she was describing what she's heard about her old neighborhood (Rt 10 area) and her friends' situations down there. :o(

It's been comforting to have Danielle to snuggle with during this time. It goes to show that even though there are terrible things going on in this world...there are also miracles and blessings. I have been lucky enough to be on the miracle end of life right now....for that I am grateful!

Tuesday, August 30, 2005

First dr appt

Today Danielle had her first dr appt to check her jaundice. She looked so well that the dr said he didn't have to see her now until she's 2mos old. She weighed 6lbs 6oz, same as her discharge weight on Saturday. Her coloring is better then it was when she was discharged too. Olivia got her 5yo shots so she can start Kindergarten next week. She was a trooper and only said OUCH on the third one.

We then hit Walmart to get some desperately needed sneakers for a few kids and the last of the school supplies. Only have to go into the city and get Elizabeth's glasses.

I talked to my MIL today. She sounded better then she has in a while! :o) She's still experiencing a lot of low blood sugars and hasn't really taken any insulin. I told her she HAS to tell them at dialysis and bring in her monitor to SHOW them her numbers. They keep telling her she keep dozing off because she's tired. She's gone from being a bad diabetic to being hypoglycemic! I hope she gets it figured out soon. I'm hoping to go in and visit her on Thursday (we can get Liz's glasses then too).

Monday, August 29, 2005

Latest family picture

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Front row...Luke, Jake, Carrie(pink shirt), Eileen, Olivia
Back row...Liz, Michelle, Drew, Val, Patrick, Tom holding Danielle

I had to photoshop Drew in. LOL He couldn't come visit on Friday with everyone but was with Tom when I was discharged on Saturday. I didn't do a great job of it but at least all 11 are in one picture. Who knows when I'll be able to get another one taken.

Sunday, August 28, 2005

Scary night and feeling like an idiot

We were going out to dinner with dh's parents and siblings tonight. (FIL's birthday is tomorrow) Tom and I arrived to MIL's early so she could get a chance to hold the baby. She was complaining of being drenched in sweat, I put it off to us being outside and it being hot out. I was sweating too.

We get to the restaurant and had to wait for a table. MIL is complaining of being drenched in sweat again and she is! The place had the A/C no excuse. MIL then started falling asleep sitting on a bench in the waiting area. MIL is a diabetic who's been on dialysis for 7yrs, she also has serious heart problems. I noticed my niece was carrying a baggie of cookies and told her to give her grandmother one. MIL wouldn't take it. I told SIL to MAKE her eat it! Finally she ate it but was still getting less and less responsive and sleepy...everyone thought she was having a heartattack again. Finally 911 was called and an ambulance arrived.

Before the ambulance pulled out they told us she was alert and responding now. :o) We arrived at the hospital to find out her blood sugar was 30 in the ambulance (about 15mins after eating the cookie) and they had given her a shot of glucagon. The ER dr's were amazed she's been this long with diabetes and dialysis and never had a severe hypo like this before. They checked her out, had her eat some pudding and sent her on her way.

Why I feel like an idiot is that I realized on the way home from the hospital. I had EVERYTHING on hand that could've avoided this situation...I just had forgotten about it. I had my glucometer in my diaper bag and glucose tabs in my purse! If I'd had her test her sugar when I first suspected she was low, this wouldn't have happened. (I could have given her my glucotabs to bring her sugar back up) I broke down on the way home, dh tried to make me feel better but it didn't work.

Dh said they (him and his family) should take it as a lesson learned. They had NO clue about hypos and what the symptoms were. I said it's good he knows now, incase I start up on insulin again in 3wks. He was not pleased at that thought! Danielle was a doll through the whole thing! She didn't utter a peep the entire time.

Saturday, August 27, 2005

She's here!!! (stats, pics and loooong birth story)

Announcing the arrival of....

Danielle Renee
August 26, 2005
Weight: 6lbs 9oz
Length: 21 inches

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I hardly slept Wednesday night but felt fine I woke up. I was surprised at how calm I felt about it, especially compared to how I felt before going to bed Wed night. Tom and I left for the hospital at 6:30. I was checked in at registration about 7:15. I was put into a labor room and told if I was lucky and an opening came up, I could go into the birthing center. :o)

Dr B came in and did a quick sono to see that she was still head down...YEAH!!! He checked me (2-3cm and 30% effaced) then broke my water and had them start the pitocin. They upped the pit every 15mins which meant I was quickly maxed out. There were a few sporadic contractions but nothing to really report. Tom and I spent most of Thursday day just sitting around and talking.

Dr B came in to recheck me after office hours and I was still only 3cm and 50% effaced and baby was still high. The contractions started making their presence known about 5:30pm on Thursday. I also started getting bloody show. My mucous plug was lost about 7. I spent most of my time with the contractions on my feet, swaying from left to right. About 10ish I started feeling them down into my hips and knew the baby was starting to settle down.

Dr B called for an update around 11:30. He said if I was still under 4cm to stop the pit for the night, let me eat something and get some rest. I'm not sure what my nurse told the dr because I didn't think we needed to stop the pit, I felt like we only had a few hours left until she was born. I was on the verge of asking for some Stadol and had to have Tom's hand for comfort. It's all I ever want...just his hand to hold or stroke. He couldn't even sit on the bed without making me feel like he was too close. But he'd better not move from the side of that bed and take his hand away. LOL

I kept telling my nurse that once I hit 4 I fly to delivery within 30-60mins. She brought another nurse to confirm her measurments. She got 3-4cm and 70% efface, but the baby was definitely a lot lower then earlier. The confirmation nurse had to do the exam twice since there was a slight discrepency at first. She said she felt the baby moving down while examining me the 2nd time. Needless to say the pit was turned off at midnight. I was relieved because labor had been pretty intense and I was tired. I was also disappointed because I thought I was close to the end and knew I'd have to do this all over again in the morning. I was given some stadol and I slept for about an hour.

I didn't want anything to eat because I was nauseated (and did eventually throw up). I also didn't want ANYTHING to do with the old school birthing bed that was in my room. The mattress was so thin and uncomfortable that my sciatica was raging! I couldn't walk across the room after getting unhooked from the pit. It took a minute of working my hips out to finally be able to move. I then stayed in high back chair for the entire night. I felt a lot better but sleep didn't come easy. About 6am my nurse mentioned that she hoped Dr B would show up soon since I'll have had my water broken for 24hrs at 9am. My temperature had also climbed a bit to 99. Oh great! I will NOT be a happy camper if this turns into a section when I could have had my baby already!!!

My day nurse (same as Thursday's) came in and announced that she was moving me to the room next door since it had a nice comfy bed for me! YEAH!!! She then mentioned she didn't know why they didn't move me last night! Booo! It was very sciatica disappeared. What a difference!!!!!!!!!!

Dr B came in about 7:45am on Friday and they hooked up the pit again around 8ish. He didn't concur that I would have had the baby in an hour or two if we'd kept the pit on. I hadn't really advanced far from the 11:30 report. I knew that since my contractions pretty much petered out until about 6am when I was hit with a few decent but spaced out ones. He also decided to start an antibiotic since it'd been a while since he broke my water. It didn't bother me, I was used to getting the antibiotics for being GBS+. This time I tested negative (like with Olivia). Unlike with Olivia they treated me as though I was negative and not as though the test lied and I was really +.

The contractions started right back up and were very bearable. I started feeling pressure into my hips again around 9. I also started feeling lack of sleep for days sink in and knew I was exhausted. I asked for some Stadol and relaxed for a little while. When I woke up around 10 the contractions had intensified and I told the nurse. My cervix had thinned out and I was 4-5cm. I had a pretty intense hour. I was crying between contractions because I didn't want to do THIS part! I just want to push and have my baby in my arms!!!

Shortly after 11 I told my nurse I felt rectal pressure. She found me to only have a lip and paged the dr. He walked in with his coffee (had just gotten it after getting out of surgery and then discharging a patient) As soon as he walked in I felt her move down and said she was coming. Tom tried to lift my leg, I slapped his hand and said DON'T! The dr washed his hands, got on his gloves, turned to the end of the bed and said let's go. The nurse lifted one knee, Tom lifted the other and there she was. She was crowning and I gave a slight push and she was HERE!!!!

She was on my belly and was really blue and not crying. One of the nurses and I kept trying to stimulate her and encourage her to cry. I really became alarmed when I put my hand into her armpit to stroke her chest and her arm just fell off the top of my hand. :o( Dr B kept trying to reassure us that it was ok and she had time. He then started moving quickly. Gained more access to the umbilical cord, cut and milked the blood back into Danielle's belly. When he carried her to the warming table next to my bed to work on her she was a as limp as a rag doll. I started crying.

They worked on her with oxygen and suction. I heard her squeak a tiny squeak and Dr B looked over at me and gave me a thumbs up. Then he turned his attention to Danielle again. I later found out that they then gave her a shot of Narcan to counteract the Stadol I'd had. She immediately perked up after that. PHEW!!!

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My nurse walked over to the fetal monitor and heard me breath deeply. She wondered why until she realized....I wasn't done yet!! LOL In all the excitement I'd been forgotten about. I then delivered the placenta to be done with the birth completely. :oD

I realized in all the excitement Tom and I both forgot about the digital camera in my bag. I really wanted him to take a movie of her on the warming table immediatelly after she was born. I guess the kids at home didn't need to see that little drama so it was ok. I got her first picture around 2pm during her first bath. I missed a really great shot when I was eating my lunch! She was wrapped in her blankets, laying in my lap and sucking on her hand! (she really loves her hands) It was adorable but I couldn't move to get the camera that was still in the bag. Tom had gone on home to feed the kids lunch and get them ready to come up and visit us. So I was stuck just sitting there enjoying the view alone. Poor me! ;o)

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I feel GREAT although I haven't slept much in the last 3 days. Last night Danielle was up and alert for quite a bit of the wee morning hours. I'm hoping it's not going to become a habit. I was dicharged about 2pm today and MADE Tom stop at Walmart and BJs so we could go grocery shopping on the way home. As we were leaving Walmart Pat called my cellphone. Seems my sister went to visit me at the hospital about 20 minutes after I was discharged. She was now waiting for me at our house if that was ok. I told her we had to finish shopping and would be there as soon as possible if she wanted to wait...and she did. We had a nice visit and she ended up taking Liz, Carrie, Eileen and Olivia (her first sleepover) home with her. I'm tired and quite swollen so have to finish this up and head toward bed for a bit.

All the kids are in LOVE with her. They are constantly calling dibs on holding her and there's always a few waiting in line to be next. I realized about 7 tonight that I hadn't fed her since before noon! OOPS! I also hadn't held her since I walked in the front door. LOL Even when I was feeding her I had kids coming and asking me if they could have her. They do tend to get a bit freaked out when she gags, she's still dealing with a bunch of mucous. She's an extremely calm and alert baby. Wonder if she'll stay that way.

I have a picture of all the kids that I'll try to upload and post tomorrow.

Thursday, August 25, 2005

Today's the day!!!

7 more hours! Just wanted to post before I head to bed.

I'm getting a bit nervous and found myself trying to tune everyone out tonight while driving home from my parents'. They all kept irritating me, almost like I was in labor already. I think it was just the reality that once I left my parent's house I was going to have to start getting ready for the hospital.

We had a nice visit. After Michelle's dentist appt, her and I ran to K-mart so I could grab a nursing bra, nightgown & robe set and some nursing pads. I ran the kids back down to the plaza just before dinner so they could take a trip through the dollar store. It was not a pleasant time as Eileen and Olivia wanted to buy everything they touched. They knew they had a good deal of money (moreso then normal) but they had no idea about limitations. I kept trying to steer them away from what I deemed garbage. Eileen finally settled on 7 things, Olivia on 6. The really fun part came at the checkout...all the money they had was CHANGE! Eileen had mostly dimes and Olivia nickles. It took a while but the cashier was very patient. :o) They had to open another checkout because we were backing up the one we were in. I bought snacks for the hospital.

Tom wasn't too tickled that we didn't get home until after 10:30pm. He wanted me home at a decent time so I could get to I'm going to sleep! LOL While trying to pack I wasn't very pleasant to be around. But it's finally done!!! Clothes are hung for tomorrow morning, only need to shower and shave. I finally showed Tom how to work the digital camera...I hope he remembers and takes decent pictures.

I've had a few contractions here or there but nothing remotely regular or effective. I've also started to get achey in the pelvic/groin area. I'm hoping this means that I've done/doing something toward effacing or dilating. I'd hate to get pitocin all day and my cervix stay thick and closed (it's happened before).

People seem surprised that I'm apprehensive about going into the hospital and dealing with labor. People....I KNOW what I'm in for!!! This is not a picnic in the park and it certainly gets to be no fun at times. I'm really trying to keep in mind what I'll end up with after getting through all this. Otherwise I'd probably run away and hide somewhere.

When packing tonight I thought...MAN! That's a lotta pink! Even my robe and nightgown are pink. LOL The kids keep joking that we've made a mistake and the baby will be a boy. I told them...he'll learn to LOVE pink! ;o)

OK...guess I need to try to get some good sleep. At the very least I'll go snuggle in with Tom while it's just him and I in the bed. Next time I get in my bed, there'll be 3 of us in there! :oD

I'm going to try to have Michelle post an update here when there's news. Hope my instructions aren't difficult to follow.

Wednesday, August 24, 2005

24 hour countdown!

In 24hrs I will be half way to the hospital with my stomach in my throat. I'm really excited to know I'll soon have my baby. I'm also quaking in my boots knowing what I have ahead of me to get that baby. I'm not ready mentally for this, I never am before an induction. I always walk into the hospital thinking....I'm not suppose to be here. It'd be a lot easier if I was ready physically but I can't even say I am that way either. Don't get me wrong...Bedrest hasn't been real fun, I'm not very comfy and I'm sick of constant heartburn. It's still not so unbearable that I want this baby out NOW!

I've never been one to be anxious for the pregnancy to end. I'm too lazy! It's a lot easier carrying her around inside of me then to be taking care of her outside of me 24/7. Oh I'll be on cloud nine once she's here and I can hug and love on her, don't get me wrong. There's just something about stepping over into the next stage that I'm not so quick to volunteer for. LOL

Everyone here is bouncing off the walls waiting for it to happen. The first thing Jake said to me today TOMORROW the day you have your baby? My mom made the mistake of we're going to have a baby on Thursday. I reminded her that we're going to START to have a baby on Thursday. She responded...OK...we'll have a baby by Friday, how's that? I said Maybe! LOL This could last a while. Valerie's induction took 44hrs. If this one does the same (and I pray it doesn't!) that takes us into Saturday.

Today we're heading into the city so Michelle can go to the dentist and get her permanent crown put on. Hopefully it won't take too long. I'll be dropping the rest of the kids off at my mom's...she only lives 2 or 3 miles from the dentist. It'll be nice to see them. I don't think I've seen them since Michelle's grad party!

My mom is anxious to talk to me. She's going on her second week of trying to control her diabetes (taking glucophage) and it's not going so great. Her fastings are still going up into the 200's! She hasn't seen a nutritionist yet. Yes, my dad has had diabetes for quite a while but he's clueless and noncompliant with his diet. So she can't talk to him about it. He keeps asking her why she's testing her blood sugar so often. He just doesn't get her need to know what's going on with her body. I think it's great she's taking this so seriously. It'll be nice to talk to someone who doesn't get a glazed look on their face when the topic comes up. I so hope this does my dad some good too!

I'm not so sure it's a great idea but she wants me to bring my food plan with me. I think it's ok for now, hopefully they get her into see someone who can get her settled on her own plan. Last night she said she was going to have a no-no. When I asked her what it was she told me a Thuringer sandwich (similar to summer sausage). I tried to explain to her that the thuringer wasn't bad for her diabetes...although it's not so hot on the fat aspect. The bread she puts it on is worse! She still hasn't gotten that carbs are nasty right now. LOL

I don't have such a great desire to do a lot around here this morning. I know I only have until noon though and some of that time will be taken with getting ready to go out the door. I should probably tear myself away from this machine and DO something!