Where to start...

My mind has been a rambling mess lately. It's one of those times when I start writing here, it gets LOOOONG and rambling, I give up. Let's hope I can finally get this out and have it make sense.

We got the call we'd been waiting for from the Joslin Center (JC). Carrie's other 2 antibody tests came back negative. So she's a Type 2 diabetic now. I should be excited over this but I'm not. The fact that I'm not is bugging me. I feel like what little control we've had over this will be stripped away with oral meds. Carrie will have to be more careful with what she eats and she'll be encouraged to exercise a lot more. I know this is all good things for her and everyone in the family. Still...it's hard enough for ME to follow my plan, I can't imagine how it will be for an 11yo. Hanging out with friends and them pigging out, having to say no, to watch what she eats for dinner so she can fit in cake. Being offered a treat at the wrong time of the day and having to turn it down. *heavy sigh* An 11yo should NOT have to worry about what she's being offered/served/eating!!! Carrie also has caught onto the notion of what shots of insulin are for. She's asked a few times...can I have more insulin so I can eat this. We hadn't gotten to the point of giving insulin based on carb intake. We'd only been covering premeal numbers with a preset formula.

Who knows....maybe she'll get on the oral meds and her numbers will fall into range. With the trouble I'm having getting them there (we're still in the high 200s after meals) I'm not optimistic. We've just been given her correction ratio (how much her numbers should drop with 1 unit of insulin) that should help.

I have other concerns too. I've been reading up on Glucophage (oral meds she'll be switched to). It's not recommended for those with liver problems. Over the last 1.5yrs the KNOT (Kids Not on Therapy...long term cancer survivor) clinic have been watching her liver function tests. They've slowly been getting worse. Her NP at KNOT was to a point where she felt we needed to explore this more thoroughly. I talked to her yesterday and she said they DEFINITELY need to recheck those numbers before prescribing the oral meds. To add to that she also informed me that her thyroid levels have been following the same trend. It's not at the "treatable" stage but something that they're watching closer now. Oh and to top things off...her lipid/cholesterol levels are HIGH! I'm to the point where I don't want anymore testing done for fear that they'll say her cancer has relapsed. I know it's an irrational thought but it's still there. Of course there will be more testing.

Carrie's had her moments but generally she's doing pretty well with all this. Her hardest times are when every spot she picks to inject is sensitive. After hitting a spot that was sensitive midshot she exclaimed...I'm NOT doing anymore of those! She also has a hard time with me cracking down on grazing/munching all day.

I thought I was doing ok with it all...until I started writing this and the truth came out. LOL I've had a few moments where I noticed I was shutting down. I'm working hard on not allowing this to happen. Danielle is a convenient (and adorable!) excuse to ignore the state of things around here. Her cuddle time is just too hard to give up in order to do dishes or laundry. :o)

Speaking of Danielle...she's CUTE and getting cuter everyday! She's gotten a lot more control of her neck muscles. I've noticed when you hold her on your shoulder she pushes off and stays pretty upright. Makes it easier for her to look all around and into everyone's face. She also is standing in our laps more often. I'm not so sure that's a great thing to encourage. ;o) I took pictures today but have to edit them on Drew's computer before I can share them. Hopefully before the weekend is over.

OK...off to MAKE the kids clean their rooms. We're having 3 of my neice's over for the night tomorrow night. Oh yeah and I have baking to do for a church bakesale on Sunday. Hmmmm....what to make?