Friday, February 10, 2006

Another week flew by

And one week closer to Island Week...woohooo! lol Things have been so unorganized around here that I feel out of it. You'd think with finally getting to stay home for 3 days straight I'd get to work and get somethings accomplished. NOPE! Very little got done actually. *heavy sigh* I really don't know what's wrong with me.

Things sicknesswise are still up in the air. Kids keep complaining they don't feel well on and off. It's been really hard to get them out the door to school everyday. I'm looking forward to midwinter break, with or without island week.

Today is lesson 2 of Carrie's TODAY study teaching session. Her numbers are too high for my liking....especially the morning ones. I finally got her an appt for late afternoon/after school. We'll be going in there once a week and she's already missed a lot of school for doctor appts. I'm not really happy about the time since it leaves me no time to run errands in the city. Especially since the varsity volleyball team has a home game for sectionals. People are looking for me to be home so they can go. Maybe I'll cram in a quick run through the produce section on the way home.

Danielle is so adorable! I'm dying to take a pic and share it. Problem is that it seems near impossible to get the camera and the rechargeable batteries in my hand at the same time. The kids are hilarious with her. Just a few minutes ago I stopped typing to wipe her nose. Luke makes the comment...I already picked her nose this it was all taken care of. LOL

I've found myself in a place I haven't been in before. Thinking/talking about another baby when Tom says we're done. I'm not to the point of being devastated if we are done. But I'm at a spot where it'd be harder to come to terms with. Before Eileen and Olivia were born we just took each pregnancy/baby as they came. After Eileen Tom said we were done...I didn't think he sounded sure of it though. After awhile we both casually mentioned that we'd thought about another one...I was pg that month. lol With Olivia Tom was more adamant that we were done and I was ok with it. My pregnancies were getting increasingly difficult. We both were getting older (especially Tom lol). We had a lot on our plates. For some reason these reasons don't seem to be there or make a difference now.

I know the age thing really bothers Tom. He doesn't want to be an "old guy" when the kids graduate. He keeps mentioning on creeping up toward 70 when Danielle finishes school (he'll be 65!) Although I respect his thoughts on this, I don't understand it all the way. I guess I don't see myself as getting old. ;o) As the kids get older things get easier in some ways, busier in others. I think having the age gap between Olivia and Danielle kind of takes the full plate reason out. Danielle's pg was one of my smoothest. Yes I had to do 3+ wks of bedrest but I still think it was one of my easier ones. Maybe it was because it happened during summer vacation. Maybe because I had older kids to pick up the slack. Even thought I wasn't on strict bedrest with the others, I'd always been put on "restricted activity" notice at the end of most of them.

I find myself thinking...Danielle is such a can we NOT have more. There's not enough of Danielle to go around! The kids need another baby to love on. Danielle needs someone to grow up with. Who knows...maybe I'm tempting fate. I jsut wish I didn't have to think about it at all. It was so much easier when we accepted them as they came. All this thinking, planning, avoiding drives me crazy!


Melissa L said...

Isn't it hard when you want more but your partner is all done? I'm going through it now. I have four, the baby just turned one and DH won't even talk about another. I guess I just need to accept it. I love reading about your big family btw. Melissa

Paula said...

I'm sort of in that place with you. I told him at Christmas that I want another. He hasn't given a reply yet, but at least didn't say no, although he has made references to being done, but has also joked about me possibly being pregnant! Waiting is hard because of my age, and I think I will be devastated if he says no.

Jody said...

I am with you on the planning, avoiding etc. I hate it.

My miscarriages and the hx behind them make it difficult to spontaneously conceive. I need to be on all of my anti-immune herbs and such for a month or so before conceiving, but can't be on them all the time(can cause bleeding problems with long term use) but Bill does not want to "try". If it happens it happens, and he is happy with that, but a big "no!" on actively trying. Frustrating.

On the other hand, Mia is such a miracle, if I never had another baby, I would be okay with it.

Now if I could just convince TOK group to let me in with "just" 4! LOL