Saturday, March 04, 2006

Cancer SUCKS!

Our worst fears have come true. FIL was finally given a diagnosis...leukemia...AML. I'm SO SICK of this stupid disease!!!!! I wish it'd just leave us alone!!! I think we've dealt with it enough thankyouverymuch. It leaves me quacking in my boots when I look at Carrie. The whatifs start rolling around in my head and I start seeing things that aren't there. I know I can't do this though, its foolish. I'm thankful she was so young when she went through her transplant and she has few memories of it. What ones she has tend to be nice ones. :o)

I'm chomping at the bit to know details (staging, protocol, etc) not that it'll help any. It's just my "enough knowledge to be dangerous" and medical hobbyist self wanting it's way. I deal with things by sinking into the medical stuff. Tom deals with it by knowing as little about it as possible. Since I'm getting most of my info through him and his conversations with his's frustrating.

FIL will be admitted on Monday. They told him to expect 2wks in, 2wks out, 2wks in... It's going to be SO rough for him. He's VERY shy and hates public places. Not to mention he's smoking. Granted it'd be a good time to quit. I wouldn't want to have to deal with all this AND having to quit.

Tom is on call this week/weekend but went into his parent's today anyways. Technically he's now closer to work so no big deal. It just happened that he had to go into work right before leaving for his parent' he took his work truck in. I hope they all have a very nice day together. I would love to be in there too but we're taking precautions. We're still not sure if my neice had chickenpox and if she infected the kids last week. I'd hate for Danielle to break out with them, exposing FIL to it.

There is talk of Michelle going in to stay with MIL. She was just discharged on Tues! There are a few other people living in the house but they all have school or work during the days she doesn't have dialysis. I'm waiting on Tom to let us know whether she should make plans or not. Figures this week would be my really busy week! I can't even go in and spend the day with her. Although if need be I could drive Michelle in first thing in the morning. Drew had a job this week and I'm not sure how long it lasts so can't depend on him to do any shuttling.

Around the house people got moving and the place is looking a lot better. I've been thinking of getting out my sewing machine. Guess it would help if I knew what I wanted to do first. What I NEED to do is get to the store! I've had Tom run to the store once or twice this week to get milk, eggs and bread. We're making due and we'll survive. It'd just be a lot easier and more fun if I went. I wish someone would hurry up and invent a transport a la Star Trek. Hmmmm, better yet, if I had a replicater I wouldn't have to go to the store at all!


Anonymous said...

Dear Kim,
I am so very sorry. Cancer sucks!! ((HUGS))
I just want you to know, that your family will be in my prayers!! I am just so sorry! ((HUGS)) I will pray for him!!!!!!

With Love,
Christi Cason

Jody said...

I am so sorry Kim. Many hugs coming your way!