2wks home with my new little man

First here's a picture of Sean, taken when he was 6 days old.



I want to get a newer picture soon (need to borrow one of the girls' cameras). I also want to get a pic of the BEAUTIFUL quilt that came in the mail last week from one of my chat friends Jeeps/Jill. It's light blue with train cars on the top, backed with red bandana material on the reverse. Jill's son, M picked it out for us and they go together perfectly. It's snuggly too (yes, mom's been using it)

Secondly, thank you for all the great wishes, comments, emails, gifts, etc. They are all truly appreciated and mean a lot to me.

Sean has been doing great. I still haven't gotten the knack of NAK (nursing at the keyboard) with him yet. Part of me would rather pay attention to him instead of the monitor, part of me was letting the kids veg in front of the computer...leaving me alone, part of me hasn't bothered to even try very hard to get the knack. So online time is spent lurking/reading mostly. Throwing in a slow chat with one hand here or there. Although I missed Tues night chat. I went to bed by 10:30 and also forgot it was Tues night until I woke up on Wed morning. *blush* I've been wanting to update here so please forgive me if this gets lengthy. I'm afraid I won't get back on to add more if I keep it short.

Sean has been doing really well with the nights. He's giving me about 3hrs at a time with nursings between them. Usually his nights start between 10 and midnight. I'm trying on occassion to hit the bed as soon as he does, but with all these older kids it's not so easy. The other night Tom and I both went to bed around 10ish. Liz and Carrie were still over at church watching transmissions from Norway. They called about 10:45 for a ride which Eileen or Olivia (who were sleeping on the livingroom couch) answered. They woke me and told me the girls were needing a ride and I answered..."tell them I'll be there in a few minutes". Then promptly fell back to sleep!!!! As did Eileen and Olivia. I woke up about 1.5 hrs later and thought...oh they must have gotten a ride home from SOMEONE. Started to go back to sleep and then decided to make sure they were home. They weren't in their room, nor on the computer. (girls didn't have my cell phone with them) I jumped in the car and drove to the meeting hall, they weren't there. I started panicing but decided to drive into the back of the property and see if they were at the rec center. Suddenly they came out from between a few bushes on the patio. PHEW! I felt so bad for leaving them to wait all alone (they'd told everyone I was on my way and it was ok to leave...afterall we only live 2miles from the place!). They didn't quite know what to do. They didn't want to leave the rec center since they'd already told the little girls that's where they'd be waiting (but I wasn't informed). They didn't want to walk home because the country streets were so dark. They thought about heading back to the meeting hall and sleeping in the mother's room until morning. Which I'm glad they didn't do because I did NOT want to have to start searching buildings and dorms for them! Needless to say I was living with a bit of guilt for a while. Luckily it was mostly through the night so the girls couldn't play off of it too much. lol

I never mentioned in my birth story about how Danielle reacted to Sean at the hospital. She surprised me and was.....SCARED of him! She reacted to him like she does a dog. Tolerant until he comes too close or crosses into her uncomfortable range. Then she just wants him gone! At the hospital she was sitting on the bed between my knees when someone tried to put Sean into her lap. She straight armed/pushed him right away from her. I pulled her up closer to me, put my arms under her arms and asked someone to give me the baby...figuring I'd hold the baby with Danielle between us. NO WAY! She wouldn't have any of it. She scurried out of and across my arms, across the bed and jumped into Olivia's (7yo) arms. We were all ROFL'ing. We did manage to get her to "pet" the baby once and then kiss the top of his head before she left. Even now...over 2wks later she really doesn't want too much to do with him. If she does she's ok with him as long as he doesn't move too much or cry. (she will show everyone how he cries though...walking around saying...baby says...waaah, waaah waaah) I guess for Danielle's sake it's a good thing he's not a frequent or prolonged crier.

It's amazing how quickly Sean's changing/growing. He's filling out more and more, I actually had to give him some slack in his carseat straps already. He's always had an alert time in the early morning when he was bright eyed and bushy tailed. Now though it happens more often and for longer periods. He's constantly pushing his head off my shoulder and starting to look around more purposefully. The kids still get freaked out when he looks at them crosseyed though. lol Today he was up for almost the whole day with only a few 10-15min catnaps thrown in. Oh I think he finally had one nap in the evening for about an hour. He's probably heading for a growth spurt and will be nursing nonstop in the next few days.

Tom is taking the next 2 weeks off starting on Monday. We're hoping to go camping. Well Tom will most likelyl go, I'm the one hoping to make it. As of right now I'm leaning toward going. I guess I'll have to wait to see the forecast and how I feel though. I've been doing pretty well until yesterday. Then I forgot that I was mending and did a situp while holding Sean inorder to get out of bed. I think I pulled something because I've felt a burning sensation deep on my right side since then. Hopefully it'll go away soon cause it's getting irritating! I want to be normal again!

Quite a few people have asked me how I feel about my tubal now that it's over. I can say that I'm still ok with it. I have bouts of sadness over it, like when I realized I can now dispose of all my baby girl things that Danielle outgrew. Or today when I talked myself into tears telling Sean he was the last baby. It's not overwhelming though and I can deal with it. I know that for myself I would want to have babies FOREVER...even after menopause came crashing into me head on and in full force. I'm glad that my childbearing has ended on a good note with a healthy baby and me healthy. I'd have hated it to have ended with multiple miscarriages or something of the sort. I know there will be times when the idea of no babies is a bit more overwhelming. (like when Sean is 10-12mos old and I'd normally be getting pg again, or in Nov when SIL, D, has her baby) I'm hoping that with the support I have it won't be too devastating. I have already gotten to the no diapers phase before and was quite enjoying it until I became blissfully pg with Danielle. So I know it's not a terrible thing that I have infront of me. Besides Drew and Allison are planning on a wedding in less then a year so maybe in 2yrs I'll be holding a grandchild which I can then send home because they are cranky. LOL Knowing me I'll probably have the grandkids at my house all the time!

In a few weeks I've got something exciting going on. Val's bestfriend, J, is going to have her baby. Her and her mom have asked me (and Val) to come to the hospital with them when she's in labor. I've already ok'ed it with the midwife and she assures me Dr B will be ok with it. (J goes to the same practice that delivered Sean) The family originally had a Doula but they decided if I was going to be there they'd let the doula go. J's mom wants to be there as a mom, not a coach so that would be my role. I'm nervous about it too. It's one thing when you're dealing with yourself. You know how your body is reacting and what it wants/doesn't want to do. It's another when you have to guide someone else. I feel like I have NO knowledge in the area. Afterall, I've never actually seen a birth! It will be nice to be there though. It'll give me a sense if going through the doula certification would be a good thing for me or not. I think I'd enjoy being a doula. Some people seem to think I'd make a good one. I guess getting through someone else's birth might be a good first step. LOL

Ok...now I need to shower and try to get into bed before Sean wakes up again. I promise more pictures will be coming SOON. I'll also try not to let 2wks go by before updating again.