Friday, April 23, 2010

When, when, when

Things are going along at a dizzying pace here. My mind starts reeling before my eyes open and it doesn't stop until I'm dead asleep. Sometimes not even then. The kids were off this week and it was nice to have them home. We didn't get tons done here but managed to get some unseen much needed things accomplished. Today the girls (and Sean) and I are heading out to the mall to shop for dresses.

We've had a major minor setback in the form of a letter. A denial letter from the credit union. They say they won't refinance our mortgage. WAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! Tom's already drawn up a letter of appeal so we'll see how it goes. One thing that the letter showed me is how much I've been living in the future. Almost everything had been tied to this refinance. I was a broken record...when the house is refinanced we can.... When our budget gets redone we'll.... I can get/do that after the house refinance. I really had to fight to keep myself from falling into deep despair. I know we'll figure things out...with or without the refinance. Then my mom called (warning....very upsetting news ahead)

We talked about things (since she "lent" me money to close on the refi) and she tried to alleviate my concerns. She then told me why she was calling. Her cousin's (I also consider him my cousin) son took his own life. I lost it. He was between Pat and Michelle in age. He was set to graduate from Duke University in a few weeks. (his parents will receive his diploma) On the outside he seemed to have it all together. According to his note, he hadn't been doing well for a long time, although he was seeking help. They live out of state so I can't attend the wake or funeral. My mom is sending flowers from all of us and I'm hoping to send them a card. After I got myself back together I that makes my mortgage problem seem like peanuts.

And now it's evening. We went shopping to Kohl's, TJ Maxx and Target. Michelle fed the kids lunch in the van while I ran into Catherine's and used my $15 gift card. They had an additional 50% off some clearance racks. I bought 2 black shirts (a tank and a decorated 3/4 sleeve) for under $12. I then dropped Michelle, Carrie, my niece Michaela, Eileen, Olivia and Danielle off at the mall. Then Sean and I took a ride to my parents and waited for them to be done. My mom and I ordered flowers for the funeral and I helped my dad install a closet door.

I knew Michelle would do well with the girls, she's very frugal. She found Eileen and Olivia $7 shirts at Rue21. I'm not sure I'd have even looked at them on the rack. They're tshirt dresses and seemed a bit casual but they look very nice on. Finding something for Carrie is a bit harder. They found a dress for $25 but Michelle thought it was too prom'y. I saw pictures of it after we got home, I didn't think it was that bad. I think the price tag was what got Michelle the most though. Her, Carrie and Michaela ended up staying at the mall and going home with Val and Brittany who came later.

So now the kids are at activity club for another half an hour. Sean and Danielle are at the other computer and having a minor disagreement about something. Tom is outside banging together a nice looking set of stairs for the back door of the addition. He told me last night that if I give up on the house because of this setback, I'm in trouble. That we have to take this extra time and use it. I know he's right but it's very tempting to let up on it just a bit since there's so much else to do here.

I still have a ton to do tonight...

pick up the girls at 9,
work out a break schedule for the concession stand for tomorrow,
make sure everything is in the backpack for the stand,
weave in the tails of Allison's shawl then wash and block it,
wash the afghans I need for shower gifts
wrap gifts
wash and get out clothes for us girls for tomorrow
figure out a snack to bring to the evening shower and make it

I feel like I'm forgetting something else...

Oh well, now I have 5 minutes until the girls need to be picked up. I need to go find Sean's shirt. He managed to take it off and discard it somewhere. Then it's out the door, into the carseats and away we go.