Tuesday, December 07, 2004


I HATE when this happens! It just sneaks up on me and BAM! It's happened twice this month alone. I get this terrible feeling and relive when Carrie was really sick. Sometimes it's for her MDS and BMT. Lately it's been her fight with meningitis last Christmas.

It hit mewhen Olivia and Jake were in for well child checkups earilier this month. The room they used to take their vitals was the one where they worked over Carrie when she had the postinfectious arthritis and couldn't walk. It's not a room they normally use for general things but the main vital room was full. I just had this awful feeling of...we're getting admitted again...I KNOW IT! Heavy chested and about to cry. It was a really weird appt.

Last time was last night. Carrie has been complaining of a headache on and off for the last few days. Last night she was crying that it hurt really bad. Her eyes were bloodshot and swollen. I had that feeling again....OH NO! NOT AGAIN! I was afraid to send her up to bed. This morning I actually had the fleeting thought...please let her be alive when I go upstairs. UGH! UGH! UGH!! I have no idea why last night bothered more then the other nights she's complained of a headache. Maybe it's the time of year?

I'm happy to report that since I started writing this Carrie has gotten up and is feeling much better!!! I didn't even bother trying to get her to go to school today because it was a half day. She's actually been pestering me and driving me crazy. No sign of a heachache that I can see. :oD


Chris said...


Hoping for a healthy new year for all of you :-)

Kathy said...

(((((HUGS)))) Kim. I can only try to imagine that feeling. Not the same thing at all but I've had flash backs on occasion like you mention from a time when 5 years ago, my oldest ds almost choked to death. If his dad hadn't been able to do the heimlich maneuvre I think he would be gone. He couldn't speak, breathe nothing it was just horrible. It just gives me chills at times out of nowhere.

Wishing you all a very Happy Healthy Holiday Season and New Year!!!!!!