Numbly exhausted

I'm off to bed but wanted to check in first. We had a very nice time of fellowship and prayer tonight. I of course cried my eyes out most of the night. I had everyone giggling when I admitted that I cry when ice melts! LOL I do have to say that there were times when the crying was done out of mourning but it was also done out of joy. It always amazes me how something like death can also bring up so much happiness while dealing with it. Laughing and giggling at a wake or funeral still seems wrong but it's so right! There were many fond memories of Monika and the kids (mostly Monika). It was awesome to hear from the youth! They tend to bring a whole new perspective to things. Maybe it's just that they tend to keep it simple and to the point. Whichever....I'm so glad that they too were heard from. I love how we're growing as a fellowship by leaps and bounds!!

It still amazes me and leaves me feeling blessed that all the churches have such a connection. I don't know many other churches where people are as aquainted with others so far away. It reminds me of all the people that are behind me and my family. Of all the people that were praying for Carrie both in January while she was dealing with meningitis and in '97 while going through her bone marrow transplant. While telling Tom of the fire, even he came up with a memory of Monika. It surprised me, seeing as he only attended church for a short time before we were married.

I have to say that being with the friends tonight did a LOT of good. The healing has started although it still has a long way to go. I am actually typing this without tears streaming down my face! (maybe I cried up my tear quota tonight...who knows) I can't imagine the depth of feelings that are occurring in Toronto and Ottawa right now though. My thoughts go out to the families, fellowships and community as they too mourn and hopefully start to heal.

Saturday is the funeral and Sunday is a memorial feast. (I think they are having calling hours on Friday for the community) I don't think I'll be attending although the need for babysitters is great up there this weekend. So maybe I will if I'm needed. Of course I'd have to talk to Tom about it first. Luckily he's very understanding and flexible about things like this. I'm considering myself blessed in that department. :o)

I find myself not wanting to put things off...like visiting friends I've been wanting to see again. Unfortunately it doesn't include my housework. LOL That I've kind of shut down on. Although the livingroom is looking ok right now and a good chunk of dishes got done tonight before I left. So maybe I just feel like I've shut down.

Tomorrow is Veteran's Day (and nephew B's birthday!) so most of the kids (college kids still have classes) and Tom have the day off. Val still needs to be at school by 9am for volleyball tryouts. Friday will be the day she finds out if she made the team or not. Part of me wants her to make it. Another would love not to have to worry about practices and games. I do hope she makes it though...she works hard. I promised Carrie that I'd take her to pick out her eyeglasses. I've been putting it off partly because her glasses cost a bit more then normal ones will. She has transition lens so that her eyes are protected against the sun. It also helps her see better because when her pupils dilate her cataracts block her vision a bit. I'm wishing I could bow out of this already...but I did promise which I hardly ever do. I'm going to try to take her out for chinese too...make it a special time. I said it'd only be me and her but I forgot that Liz's glasses got bent up and she needs them readjusted...so she'll have to come too.

Well, I can barely see the screen and it seems I've rambled long enough. I won't even bother proof reading this for fear that I'll delete it. So excuse the typos and such.