Viewing my life as through

a camera lens. That's what I find myself doing at times. Thinking...hmmmm now how would THIS look on tv? Or...I'm glad I don't have a camera crew following me NOW! LOL

Earlier this year the Mega family community was approached by some tv producers looking for families with 12 or more children. Some of us were emailed privately and asked to be interviewed for the show. Tom said no WAY! He was not going to be put on tv for all to judge and criticize. 2 of my online friends met with them, one of them was picked for the show.

Since then I often find myself trying to image how the workings of my family would look to the public. Like yesterday...driving to my mom's house with a van full of kids, one with an extreme case of poison ivy. Stop at my sister's house to pick up something and she's not there. Go to the bread store (discount place) and watch me fill up a cart, spending $30+ in about 5 minutes. Then hear all the remarks from the clerk and other shoppers about running a daycare, having a party, and how THAT'S a LOT of bread! Watch me pause at the door because I realize I forgot to get bagels...but not go back in since the kids were in the hot car. Drive down the street toward my parents' house only to find at the next traffic light...smoke coming from the right side of my van! Yep, the brakes on my van decided they didn't want to work properly and were smoking (and stinking). We made it to my mom's and I'm on the phone trying to figure out what to do with the van and find someone to pick up Michelle from work at 8. I get ahold of Pat and tell him we need the car, he volunteers to pick up Michelle. Finally after allowing it to rest and taking it for a test drive we deem it's ok to try to drive it home. I'm happy to report we arrived home ok, no smoke. Although there was a slight burning rubber smell.

Then there's this morning. The first time in quite a while that people had to be out the door early. Tom's no problem...he has to be gone by 6:30. Luke had to catch the bus for freshman orientation at 7:30. Pat had to leave by 7:30 to make an 8:00 class. Michelle had to be ready too since she was catching a ride with Pat (going into class 1.5hrs early) since I don't trust the van to make the 42 mile round trip without a problem. There were quite a few banging of doors, pleas of HURRY UP! Get out of the bathroom NOW! I have to get in there too! At least they got out when they were suppose to. Although I'm sure next week will be even more interesting since we'll be adding in 4 (possibly 5) more kids who need to be out the door at that time too. Did I mention I'm dreading the start of school with all my heart? I thought so.

We can't forget the comedy of all of comedies...school shopping! 8+ hours at the outlet mall...the wheeling and dealing, the cajoling. I swear my kids will grow up to be world class negotiators. There's me telling someone I refuse to pay $7 for a shirt. Only to turn around and have another kid try to convince me they NEED a $17 long sleeve black shirt. How they can't live without this shirt.

Watch us as we enter the food court. Gather at the table while trying to decide what to do for dinner. Decide to get 2 pizzas Last stop is into the shoe store where we're ignored by all the unoccupied salespeople. Probably because they've pegged me for a...head straight to the clearance rack...type shopper, and they'd be right. I try to keep ahold of Danielle while fighting the urge to choke on the $60+ price tags we pass. Breathe a little more freely as I see the color coded clearance tags. Smile as I find 2 pairs of $15 sneaks. Smile gets even broader as I discover the girls like them and THEY FIT! :o) Then I start to doubt whether I should pay $15 for their sneaks. Can I find some cheaper someplace else? Will I get to that someplace else? Push aside the doubt and whip out the plastic (which makes me sick to my stomach to have to do). It ends with me limping to the van (my tailbone was killing me!), driving home knowing I'll have to do this again Friday! Maybe THEN I can be done. lol (BTW...Danielle and Sean were PERFECT the whole day)

Sitting here I'm wondering how tonight will turn out. The parent's portion of freshmen orientation is tonight (note to self...find and fill out papers that need to be returned at the meeting...stop at library to make a copy of Luke's birth certificate). I THINK it starts at 7...have to check and I'm assuming it goes until 8. Michelle gets out of work at 8, meaning someone has to leave the house to pick her up by 7:30. That is IF we have 2 cars to drive, otherwise someone is going to have to wait for a while until their ride can get to them. At least Pat has today off so that we have ONE car that's driving ok to use. I'm thinking that I'll probably go to school with the van (and cross my fingers), Tom can take the Tercel and pick up Michelle.

Speaking of Tom, there's the relationship aspect that would be portrayed. It's not pretty right now. Not because we're fighting or angry at each other. We'd have to see each other and have more then a few minute phone conversation to do that. No it's that it seems to be sorely lacking at the moment. I haven't seen Tom's actual face since at least Sunday evening. He's been in bed by the time I got home the last few nights. Before that he's pulled a few late nights outside and I've been asleep by the time he comes in. Just goes to show that my view is correct....sleeping is just a waste of time. Now if only my post partum body would agree with my brain!

And last but not least there's how my housekeeping mixed with baby and toddler juggling ability...or lack of would be perceived. ROFL!!! But maybe that's a post for another time.

Vacation is over

Thanks everyone for the well wishes. It took me almost a week until I felt like I had before I got sick. This last week I've really been bugged by my sloooow recovery. Also that at times I'd feel pain when I moved certain ways still and my stamina was sorely lacking. I usually jump right back into things once I'm discharged from the hospital. So taking 4wks to recover seemed WAY too long. Although I should've known better since it took me about this long to feel well after my gallbladder surgery. I'm happy to say though that week has been a good week. I still can't do too much but that's because I've got Sean glued to me, not because I'm in pain or have no energy.

Tom did end up taking the kids camping during the first week of his vacation. It was too cold and rainy for Sean so I opted to stay home. Liz had to back out of going at the last second so I offered to keep Danielle. (Liz would've been Tom's major helper with her) I got a glimpse of what life once school is back in session will be like since I was alone with Sean and Danielle quite a few days. Oh my goodness!!! I missed my big kids. I've gotten so spoiled that I'm a wuss now. lol I'm happy to report that EVERYONE survived.

Sean is growing like a big fat weed. The kids seems to aquire rolls overnight! At his 1wk checkup he weighed 8lbs. At his 3wk checkup he weighed 10lbs (same as Luke when he was born lol) I'm sure he weighs even more now that he's almost 5wks old. Here's a picture my mom took when he was 23 days old. (will try to get a newer picture when Liz gets home tomorrow)



He's a very alert baby that likes to be held by mom a lot. :o) Nursing is his favorite activity. He does really well at night though. The last few nights he's only woken up ONCE although his morning starts before 6am. He seems to have had a twinkle in his eye for at least a week now. We're starting to get glimpses of an almost smile. I even got an adorable crinkled up nose face yesterday.

Tom's second week of vacation ended up being hot and humid. It sent us to the beach in the evenings 2 days this week. Sean isn't beach friendly at this time though...so I wasn't a happy camper. It ended on both an emotional high and a low.

The high was Danielle's 2nd birthday which she THOROUGHLY enjoyed. She blew her candles out like a pro. When I asked if she wanted to do it again she say 'Es. I relit the candles thinking she would blow them right back out. She had other ideas and sat back down into her seat, expecting everyone to sing Happy Birthday to her again. THEN she blew out the candles. She loved her new Zapf babydoll and I'm reminded why you don't leave a newborn alone with a 2yo. lol That poor doll!

The low happened yesterday morning after dropping Michelle off at work. (yes, she now has a job) On the way home I pulled in front of a Tacoma pickup while attempting to turn left at a T intersection. (I was facing the top of the T....truck was coming from the left of the top) I looked left, waited until an SUV passed infront of me, looked right to see if it was clear and never looked left again. I didn't see the truck until it had smashed into me. I CAN'T BELIEVE I DID IT! I've always thought people that that happens to have to be morons to not see a huge vehicle bearing down on them. Now I'm one of them. Here's a not so great picture of the damage...



So now our 1mo new to us Volvo that I told you about here has a VERY smashed up front end. Sean and I were in the car and we're both fine. I was a bit sore last night and will probably end up with bruises on my shoulder, neck and jaw from the seatbelt. I don't think Sean moved at all. :o) I'm SO thankful I wasn't lazy in buckling him into the car like I was tempted to be. (had second thoughts about having to climb IN the car so I could reach the middle seatbelt. Also about climbing on his seat to make sure it was secured into the belt tightly)

I shocked myself and fell apart at the scene. I'm usually the one that stays composed during these types of things. Mostly I was mad at myself for being so careless. Then I thought of all the ramifications of accident like...losing out on the $1500+ we just spent to buy, register and tune-up the car, Drew not being able to start his new job this week (he was going to borrow the car until his Saturn was fixed), I was issued a ticket and now will have points on my license which means higher insurance for a few years, and higher insurance premiums based on an accident alone. I was a basketcase all day and I think I scared the kids just a bit. They aren't used to seeing their mom randomly break into hysterics. They've been walking on eggshells around me since I got home yesterday.

Jake keeps saying...mommy's scared! I told him no, I'm mad. Then on the way to taking Michelle to work t his morning I broke down as we got closer to the dreaded corner. So maybe there's a little bit of truth to what he's claiming. It's been a vicious circle. I start crying, get mad at myself for falling apart, then get embarrassed because I fell apart and start crying even more. This afternoon I've been fine. I guess the final test will be in an hour when I go to pick Michelle up from work again.

Michelle and Pat start back to college on Wed. Unfortunately they can't coordinate rides to ease my driving time. Pat will have to head to work after classes and can't wait around for Michelle and vice versa. I'm just glad Pat decided to go back to school NOW instead of "next semester" like he'd planned on a few weeks ago.

The other school kids start back to school in 9 days (on the 5th). I'm dreading it with all my heart! Especially since Jake has the 5th grade teacher from hell. The one teacher who's managed to make EVERY kid I know that's had her HATE school/5th grade. Including socially minded Val and academically minded Liz. How can you turn off 2 kids who enjoyed school for 2 totally different reasons? I know...be a lousy teacher! I've already put Tom on notice that I will pull and homeschool Jake if I think he's being negatively affected. Who knows...maybe they'll love each other...stranger things have happened. We have quite a bit of school shopping to do. Everyone is still wearing last years sneakers and they are falling apart. At least I'm set on backpacks...I think. I also bought a ton of basic supplies before Sean was born. So we're not totally unprepared. The plan right now is to go out shopping tomorrow (Michelle's only day off this week). Hopefully we'll get everything we need in one trip (hey! a girl can dream!)

OK...off to get some lunch. Then it'll be time to be brave and conquer the evil intersection. Voya con Dios!

UGH! Two steps forward, 3 steps back

I posted about how great everything was going on Thursday and then I wake up Friday morning. MISTAKE! I was soooo sick. I think I've only been that sick two other times in my life...once with strep and another with the flu. I was on the toilet all morning and didn't know what to do. I had to take Michelle and Liz to the dentist for appts at 1pm...I'd already confirmed them the day before! I called Tom and asked if he could get out of work early and take them. He was going to at first but then said that he was super busy trying to get ready for his vacation (taking 2wks off starting Monday!). Besides it was only cleanings...so call and cancel. I broke into tears, realized there was NO way I was going out the door and called the dentist.

I then grabbed Sean and headed back to bed. By then I was shivering and burning up under my blankets. As the kids got up and would pass my room, I'd call them in and have them take Sean for a little while. They'd carry him out into the livingroom, pass him around for a bit and then send him back in with me to be nursed. I'd hook him up and fall back to sleep. Someone would hear or see him moving (my door stayed open), come grab him until he was rooting like a madman on everyone's arm....then back into bed with me. I felt guilty for not "taking care" of my newborn. Although the guilt wasn't too bad since I slept until well after 5pm.

I tried to get up but my head and back were screaming. It was almost like a spinal headache and was just about as bad painwise. (had one after Danielle's delivery) I kept calling Tom asking where he was in his errand run, that I needed some pepsi. Everytime I'd talk to Tom he'd ask if I needed to go to the dr or the hospital. I'd tell him I'm pretty sure it wasn't pregnancy/c-section related (normally having the runs isn't one of the symptoms...otherwise I'd have been worried too). He finally got home, (asking again if I wanted to go to the ER...I guess the tears made him nervous) I slowly drank down 2 pepsi's and took a few tylenol and started to feel a bit better. I was worried that I wouldn't be able to go to sleep after sleeping all day (Sean too, he was napping a lot more then normal with me in bed all day). We both slept fine.

I woke up Saturday still feeling so hot. I could barely stand for more then a minute and still needed frequent trips to the bathroom. It was about 6 at night when I realized....I have a bridal shower tomorrow at 1pm and haven't bought anything for it! What am I going to do? I decided I'd get up early Sunday and go out shopping. Weeeeeeell, I couldn't get to sleep Saturday night. I saw the wee hours of the morning creep in before I convinced myself I might fall asleep if I tried. Needless to say, I didn't wake up Sunday morning until well past 10 and that wasn't enough time to shop properly. I also still felt weak and not particularly well. So wasn't a stellar idea in my book to be out all morning/day. So I asked Michelle for a blank card and gave the couple cash. I know it will be appreciated and I have a legitimate excuse for not having a gift. I still feel like a cad for not having anything for her to open today. It was a nice shower despite how I felt about my gift. She seemed to really be appreciative of it and that's all that matters. :o)

Tomorrow Tom gets our van inspected and hopfefully will make it legal to drive again! Fingers crossed that the state doesn't find a reason to deny it and give Tom a hard time. We really can't provide a lot of the information they want from us since we just BOUGHT the van, not rebuilt it. I can't wait until all this red tape is behind us! There is talk of going camping if the van passes. I was originally going to go but now I don't think I'd be good enough to go to the mailbox much less the Adirondacks. Besides it's suppose to be pretty chilly and rainy this week. Not something I want to deal with with a newborn and almost 2yo. I'm trying to convince him to wait until next week but he's not having any of it. I don't really mind staying home alone (although some big kids would probably be here since they have to work and whatnot). NOt sure I can handle Danielle and Sean at the same time. I'm getting nervous about that come September. But that's something for another blog post at a later time.

My plan to stay up until Sean woke up for his midnight'ish feeding is backfiring. He hasn't woken up and my head keeps snapping back while I sit here trying to concentrate. I was trying to avoid Sean waking me up 30-45mins after I fell asleep (HATE when that happens cause I have the hardest time getting fully awake then). Guess everything is pointing for me to go to bed even if my head says to wait a FEW more minutes.

2wks home with my new little man

First here's a picture of Sean, taken when he was 6 days old.



I want to get a newer picture soon (need to borrow one of the girls' cameras). I also want to get a pic of the BEAUTIFUL quilt that came in the mail last week from one of my chat friends Jeeps/Jill. It's light blue with train cars on the top, backed with red bandana material on the reverse. Jill's son, M picked it out for us and they go together perfectly. It's snuggly too (yes, mom's been using it)

Secondly, thank you for all the great wishes, comments, emails, gifts, etc. They are all truly appreciated and mean a lot to me.

Sean has been doing great. I still haven't gotten the knack of NAK (nursing at the keyboard) with him yet. Part of me would rather pay attention to him instead of the monitor, part of me was letting the kids veg in front of the computer...leaving me alone, part of me hasn't bothered to even try very hard to get the knack. So online time is spent lurking/reading mostly. Throwing in a slow chat with one hand here or there. Although I missed Tues night chat. I went to bed by 10:30 and also forgot it was Tues night until I woke up on Wed morning. *blush* I've been wanting to update here so please forgive me if this gets lengthy. I'm afraid I won't get back on to add more if I keep it short.

Sean has been doing really well with the nights. He's giving me about 3hrs at a time with nursings between them. Usually his nights start between 10 and midnight. I'm trying on occassion to hit the bed as soon as he does, but with all these older kids it's not so easy. The other night Tom and I both went to bed around 10ish. Liz and Carrie were still over at church watching transmissions from Norway. They called about 10:45 for a ride which Eileen or Olivia (who were sleeping on the livingroom couch) answered. They woke me and told me the girls were needing a ride and I answered..."tell them I'll be there in a few minutes". Then promptly fell back to sleep!!!! As did Eileen and Olivia. I woke up about 1.5 hrs later and thought...oh they must have gotten a ride home from SOMEONE. Started to go back to sleep and then decided to make sure they were home. They weren't in their room, nor on the computer. (girls didn't have my cell phone with them) I jumped in the car and drove to the meeting hall, they weren't there. I started panicing but decided to drive into the back of the property and see if they were at the rec center. Suddenly they came out from between a few bushes on the patio. PHEW! I felt so bad for leaving them to wait all alone (they'd told everyone I was on my way and it was ok to leave...afterall we only live 2miles from the place!). They didn't quite know what to do. They didn't want to leave the rec center since they'd already told the little girls that's where they'd be waiting (but I wasn't informed). They didn't want to walk home because the country streets were so dark. They thought about heading back to the meeting hall and sleeping in the mother's room until morning. Which I'm glad they didn't do because I did NOT want to have to start searching buildings and dorms for them! Needless to say I was living with a bit of guilt for a while. Luckily it was mostly through the night so the girls couldn't play off of it too much. lol

I never mentioned in my birth story about how Danielle reacted to Sean at the hospital. She surprised me and was.....SCARED of him! She reacted to him like she does a dog. Tolerant until he comes too close or crosses into her uncomfortable range. Then she just wants him gone! At the hospital she was sitting on the bed between my knees when someone tried to put Sean into her lap. She straight armed/pushed him right away from her. I pulled her up closer to me, put my arms under her arms and asked someone to give me the baby...figuring I'd hold the baby with Danielle between us. NO WAY! She wouldn't have any of it. She scurried out of and across my arms, across the bed and jumped into Olivia's (7yo) arms. We were all ROFL'ing. We did manage to get her to "pet" the baby once and then kiss the top of his head before she left. Even now...over 2wks later she really doesn't want too much to do with him. If she does she's ok with him as long as he doesn't move too much or cry. (she will show everyone how he cries though...walking around saying...baby says...waaah, waaah waaah) I guess for Danielle's sake it's a good thing he's not a frequent or prolonged crier.

It's amazing how quickly Sean's changing/growing. He's filling out more and more, I actually had to give him some slack in his carseat straps already. He's always had an alert time in the early morning when he was bright eyed and bushy tailed. Now though it happens more often and for longer periods. He's constantly pushing his head off my shoulder and starting to look around more purposefully. The kids still get freaked out when he looks at them crosseyed though. lol Today he was up for almost the whole day with only a few 10-15min catnaps thrown in. Oh I think he finally had one nap in the evening for about an hour. He's probably heading for a growth spurt and will be nursing nonstop in the next few days.

Tom is taking the next 2 weeks off starting on Monday. We're hoping to go camping. Well Tom will most likelyl go, I'm the one hoping to make it. As of right now I'm leaning toward going. I guess I'll have to wait to see the forecast and how I feel though. I've been doing pretty well until yesterday. Then I forgot that I was mending and did a situp while holding Sean inorder to get out of bed. I think I pulled something because I've felt a burning sensation deep on my right side since then. Hopefully it'll go away soon cause it's getting irritating! I want to be normal again!

Quite a few people have asked me how I feel about my tubal now that it's over. I can say that I'm still ok with it. I have bouts of sadness over it, like when I realized I can now dispose of all my baby girl things that Danielle outgrew. Or today when I talked myself into tears telling Sean he was the last baby. It's not overwhelming though and I can deal with it. I know that for myself I would want to have babies FOREVER...even after menopause came crashing into me head on and in full force. I'm glad that my childbearing has ended on a good note with a healthy baby and me healthy. I'd have hated it to have ended with multiple miscarriages or something of the sort. I know there will be times when the idea of no babies is a bit more overwhelming. (like when Sean is 10-12mos old and I'd normally be getting pg again, or in Nov when SIL, D, has her baby) I'm hoping that with the support I have it won't be too devastating. I have already gotten to the no diapers phase before and was quite enjoying it until I became blissfully pg with Danielle. So I know it's not a terrible thing that I have infront of me. Besides Drew and Allison are planning on a wedding in less then a year so maybe in 2yrs I'll be holding a grandchild which I can then send home because they are cranky. LOL Knowing me I'll probably have the grandkids at my house all the time!

In a few weeks I've got something exciting going on. Val's bestfriend, J, is going to have her baby. Her and her mom have asked me (and Val) to come to the hospital with them when she's in labor. I've already ok'ed it with the midwife and she assures me Dr B will be ok with it. (J goes to the same practice that delivered Sean) The family originally had a Doula but they decided if I was going to be there they'd let the doula go. J's mom wants to be there as a mom, not a coach so that would be my role. I'm nervous about it too. It's one thing when you're dealing with yourself. You know how your body is reacting and what it wants/doesn't want to do. It's another when you have to guide someone else. I feel like I have NO knowledge in the area. Afterall, I've never actually seen a birth! It will be nice to be there though. It'll give me a sense if going through the doula certification would be a good thing for me or not. I think I'd enjoy being a doula. Some people seem to think I'd make a good one. I guess getting through someone else's birth might be a good first step. LOL

Ok...now I need to shower and try to get into bed before Sean wakes up again. I promise more pictures will be coming SOON. I'll also try not to let 2wks go by before updating again.

Introducing....

Sean Robert
July 24, 2007
7:30pm
7lbs 14oz.



I was admitted on(the 23rd) Monday morning at 7:15. Dr B came in, examined me and tried to break my water but he couldn't do it. After the exam he came into the room wheeling in the sono machine. I said...oh don't tell me! He said I'm not saying anything until I'm positive. The u/s showed that the baby's head was to the right of midline, same as it was 2 wks ago. Dr B assured me that he was floating high and most likely would move into place as labor progressed. I was hooked up to the pit by 8am. The contractions started coming quickly shortly after 10. They weren't uncomfortable but there and were every 3-4mins apart. By 2pm they were every minute or so but hadn't increased in length. I sat in a high back chair most of the day talking and watching tv with Tom. After office hours Dr B came back in and examined me and said I was about 2cm. He then had them order me a dinner tray with instructions to turn the pit off at 10pm. I'd be allowed to rest for the night and we'd restart in the morning. As soon as the pit was turned off my contractions stopped. Tom went home for the night so he could get some sleep in a bed instead of a chair. I had a decent night's sleep.

Dr B came bright and early (7am) Tuesday morning (the 24th). He couldn't break my water on that attempt either. The pit was restarted and the contractions started up immediately and were a few minutes apart. Tom came in shortly after 8. I could start to feel the contractions in my hips so decided to stand. About 11:15 I thought I had peed down my leg. It took a bit of time before I realized it was too much for that and my water had a slow leak. Dr B had preformed a c-section in the morning and came in to check me again about noon. I was 4cm which meant I could then be moved the birthing center with the nice rooms! YEAH!

They got eveything set up at the birthing center and I used the birthing ball. WHAT A DIFFERENCE! I loved it and stayed there for the rest of the day. I was checked at 2pm and was found to be 7cm. This was so different! I usually flew from 4cm to transition within an hour. I was loving this gradual progression. The contractions were never anything unbearable and I didn't have too much of the dreaded hip pressure/pain that I usually do. About 4pm I reported that I was starting to feel pressure when the contractions hit. I was also starting to feel nauseated so asked for some Stadol which helped a lot and I enjoyed. I also mentioned the pressure didn't stay for the whole contraction. Dr B was moving between me and a 17yo girl who was getting ready to push. (luckily we were next door to each other) He examined me, found me to be 9 almost 10cm and again brought out the sono machine. The baby hadn't moved since the last time he checked. His shoulder was presenting, head was to the right up against the other shoulder, spine along my left arm, buttocks straight up at my sternum. He reexamined me and tried to manipulate the shoulder out of the way and it wouldn't move. (I was SO thankful for the Stadol at this point)

The options were laid out...

A) Baby moves on his own and we delivery vaginally
B) Dr manipulates the baby into the proper position and we deliver vaginally
C) We do a c-section.

(warning may be a bit too graphic for some)

I told him after that last manipulation I'm starting to think option C might be a bit better then option B! He had me assume the knee chest position for a while to see if we could get the baby to drop out of the pelvis and move. They couldn't find the heartbeat with me in that position so after a while they needed to get a strip of the baby's heartrate during contractions. Dr B came in and examined me, found nothing changed. He tried to sweep the shoulder out again and it didn't work. Then told me...assume the cow position (buttocks up, chest to bed). A little too late I realized he was going for a full manipulation. He had his whole hand in and was trying to move the shoulder out and head into place. It wasn't working and I was screaming and crying. (Stadol had worn off) Tom said the Nurse Practitioner Student looked like she might be about to pass out at this point. Dr B declared it wasn't working and we were going for option C....c-section....it was 5:30pm. They stopped the pit and the contractions stopped immediately.

By 7pm the assisting dr and anesthesiologist arrived and I was prepped for the OR. Tom mentioned a tubal ligation. We've had an "agreement" since Olivia (#10's) birth that if I required a c-section that would be our clue that we should be done having children and I would get my tubes tied during the section. Dr B said he normally wouldn't allow a woman in labor to make this type of decision but my circumstances were different (he also knew we had the agreement in other pregnancies). I told Tom I was ok with the decision but he had to realize that that may not always be the case. I'm the type of person that would never feel done having babies, even after menopause hit me full force. That he'd have to be understanding when those times came. So at 7:30pm with Tom sitting next to my head, our 12th and final baby was born.

Here's the newest family picture....

In 5 hours I will be on my way

to the hospital to have this little guy!!!

I spent 3hrs at the laundromat last night so at least everyone has clean clothes for a while. The house isn't in the best shape but I'm ignoring it. It's a safe guess that they'll make sure things are presentable when I come home. I managed to set up the baby's things (carseat, bed...that I probably won't even use lol, and playpen/dome. Baby's things are packed and ready for me to throw into a bag.

My cell phone decided it wanted to die this week so I needed a new one. Tom and I just got back from a run to Walmart...the most dreaded place on earth as far as he's concerned. Nevermind I got a lot of goodies for him to enjoy while I'm sucking on ice chips. Yeah right.

I have most of my things packed, although it's not a lot. I'll wear something there, use their gowns while admitted and my going home outfit is what I wore there. I thought I'd get something to distract Tom and I while we wait, and wait, and wait. It didn't happen. Guess we'll have to talk to each other(oh the horrors!) or watch tv.

I had a great day with my mom, sister and aunts at the play (saw Menopause, the musical). My parents and I went to the chinese buffet afterwards.

Hopefully Tom and I aren't too exhausted now to enjoy a bit of couple time. Liz and Carrie went and took Danielle out of our room before we got home from the store.

Danielle has been a true "soon to lose baby of the family status" kid with lots of lap and cuddle time requests. I'm loving it of course, nothing like being smothered in toddler kisses and hugs. Everyone is excited and keeps mentioning it at random. It's not far from my mind even if no one mentions it. Sitting at dinner I had to apologize for suddenly reciting my todo list aloud. It was quite obvious I was distracted. I'm excited, nervous and tired. Of course staying up until 4am watching birth videos last night isn't helping. *blush*

Part of me still can't believe I'm going to try to have a baby tomorrow!!! I was feeling a bit off today with a backache and achiness that MIGHT'VE been tiny contrax. Guess we'll see if things have changed when I get examined tomorrow morning.

I'll try to call Catherine/mabear later in the evening to update her (or after the baby is born....whichever comes first).

Here's my last belly shot. (38w3d) It's sad to think I'm gonna lose my special little surprise. (I'm so greedy, I don't want to share!)

The plan is a go....

My OB appt went well on Thursday although it was loooong. I was hooked up to the monitor for almost an hour. Not because things weren't going well. A woman came into the office in labor (water broke) and they were taking care of her. Both my blood pressure and sugar are creeping up a bit but we're not doing anything about it. I'm only a fingertip dialated, baby is floating (not news...usually am until labor is established) and baby is head down (yeah!) I'm due at the hospital at 7am on Monday for induction. I'm planning on another 2 day induction. Although I hope I'm wrong and it only takes a few hours. lol

The trip to the casino on Thurs was fun. I lost some money quickly and tried to pace myself. My dad had a good run on the roulette table and threw some money my way. :o) Always fun to play with other's money. They have a reward program there were you can use points for dollars at any restaurant or shop at the resort. We had enough for all of us to eat whatever and however much we wanted for "free". So the 5 of us went to dinner. I'd been wanting fried haddock so ordered the seafood platter. The haddock wasn't the best but everything else was delicious! There was so much food that I couldn't finish everything. After dinner we headed back onto to the floor for about another hour.

I pulled into the driveway around 10pm. Tom was already in bed asleep. Liz, Carrie and I gathered a bunch of laundry and headed to the laundromat shortly after 11. It seemed to go easily and we were home shortly after 2. I tried to get online and update here but mid posting on LOK we lost power which lasted until about 6am. Luckily we didn't oversleep and Luke had plenty of time to get up pack, eat and wait for his ride to camping. I hope they're having a good time. I also hope those boys remember their bear etiquette! My mom told me that the park they're at usually has bears roaming midday through the campgrounds.

Friday we spent a few hours at my parents' house visiting with my cousin and her family. The kids had a blast and as usual, my cousin and I started crying when saying good bye. It was her fault, she started snuffling first! ;o) We ran home, the girls and I changed into more festive clothes and we headed over to church. The older youth girls threw a dinner party for the moms and daughters to age 5. They made a DELICIOUS dinner of steak, roasted potatoes with onions and red peppers, broccoli with cheese sauce and garlic bread. It was a great night with lots of fellowship. We all went home around 11pm.

While today hasn't been as productive as I'd hoped it would be (it never is). We have managed to get a LOT done around here. Both Danielle's and the baby's clothes are put away in a dresser. I've set up the bed, carseat and FP sleep and play dome which I'll need later in the week at church...especially for the bug net part of it.

I have laundry going that'll need a trip to the laundromat to get dried. I'll also bring the rest of the laundry and catch up tonight. My cell phone isn't working right. It won't stay on so I have to go to Walmart and buy a replacement. I'd rather have my own phone at the hospital then to have to rely on. Plus it has all my phone numbers in it. :o) I guess I'll hit the store on the way home from the play on Sunday.

Everyone is getting really excited about the baby coming. Danielle is even joining in. The first thing this morning she spent lots of time hugging, kissing and blowing raspberries on my belly. She then went through the bedroom pointing out what was her's and what was the baby's. She's been wanting me to pay attention to her a lot today. (I've noticed that happens with the youngest just before the new baby arrives.) After we set up the dome she was looking in it yelling NIGHT NIGHT BABY!....NIGHT NIGHT! It proves I'm going to have to watch her like a hawk around this little guy.

Time to switch laundry and think about dinner. I'm sure I'll probably post at least one more time before I leave for the hospital. I'm hoping to have a last belly shot too.

There's no place like home

Now if I could only find a bit of time there, I might have a chance to get ready to have this baby. I spent Monday home but didn't feel so great, so nothing was accomplished. The baby was rolling and moving a LOT making me really sore. My hips were also killing me making walking difficult. For the first time I had started feeling like delivering this baby might be the best option. The feeling has gone away now though. lol

Tuesday we were suppose to go to baseball game for free. Without our van available (dealing with some DMV red tape) I spent most of my waking time trying to figure out driving arrangements and who was going. Our plans proved to be too difficult and were cancelled at the last minute. Lots of disappointed kids. I ended up taking a few kids into my mom's anyways. I also took the baby's clothes in and washed them while I was there...so he now has clean clothes! One thing to scratch off my list. :o)

Wednesday I'd planned on tackling the house and getting off the list. As usual plans changed almost as soon as I got out of bed. Tom called and let me know that he was buying the car he'd planned on. He was taking a half day and we were heading into the city to register and pick it up. We were quite a bit aways from home when Tom realized he left the new car keys in his work truck at home, and it was locked. We were on the Thruway and couldn't turn around to get them. By the time we had the opportunity to do it we'd had other plans. Tom dropped me off at the DMV and went back home to get the keys. It was a good thing we went with plan B because as usual nothing was easy. My insurance card had the wrong VIN number on it and I had to have the insurance co fax the DMV a different one. I finished JUST before Tom got back with the keys...almost 2hrs later. We'd never have gotten the car registered, picked it up and got back home beore Pat needed us to (had to have the tercel to go to work). As it is I stayed in and visited my mom and my cousin (men were off golfing)

This isn't MY car specifically, but it's what mine looks like. It's a 1990 black Volvo wagon....

The ride is SMOOTH!

Today I have my 38wk dr appt at 10:30. I'm a bit nervous and don't seem to have any clean underthings, so will have to stop at the store on the way in. *blush* We'll talk about me being admitted on Monday! I'm kind of hoping that we might get to take a peek at his little one. It would be nice to know approx weight and what position he's in, especially after Monday's rolling around. After my appt I'm headed back into my mom's and a few of us are headed to the casino for the day. Tom says to consider this my vacation. LOL

I'm feeling a bit guilty for being gone so much. Climbing into bed last night I realized that Luke needs to have everything packed for a camping trip tomorrow morning! Of course he has to be in the EARLY group that's leaving around 9am, instead of the afternoon one. lol The poor kid doesn't even have any clean clothes. I'm not even positive what he has to bring besides his clothes. I should email M and see what he says.

I've already made plans for some of the kids to take a ride into my mom's tomorrow to have a last visit with my cousin and her kids. They aren't leaving until Saturday afternoon but I HAVE to stay home that day and get something done!! It's the only day free until Monday since I have the play on Sunday. (have to be back in the city by 2:30 Sunday)

I can't believe that I'm DAYS away from having this baby! It seems like summer vacation just started. Now I feel like it's almost done. If it wasn't for the new baby coming I'd be slightly depressed about July being almost over.

Edited to add...my laundry situation isn't THAT desperate. After 2 kids looked and informed me there were none of my underclothes in the basket of whites. I forced myself down the cellar stairs and looked for myself. Found a few pairs. I couldn't figure out how I could be out of them already! lol So no need to stop at the store on the way into the dr's this morning...PHEW!

She's getting SO big....

Danielle seems to be getting bigger by the second. Having a new baby in the house will make her seem even older yet. I haven't shared any pics of her lately so I decided I'd do it tonight. (had to steal them from Liz)

OK....so I didn't update when I said I would

But I have an excuse....I haven't been home. No I didn't have my baby or have to go to the hospital. My cousin is up from Florida with her family. They are staying with my parents so I've been in there during my spare time. Most nights well past 2am. I'm exhausted.

My appt went well on Thursday and we now have a date set for my induction. Dr B said he'd let me go to 39wks BUT he used my sono EDD of 7/29 instead of my original one of 8/2. So technically he's allowing me to go until 38.5wks. I'll go to my last office visit this Thursday and then be admitted to the hospital on Monday the 23rd.

This date makes my mom happy since I can now go to see Menopause with her, my sister and my aunts. It's got my kids a little nervous. They're afraid they are going to miss the annual summer conference/family week over at church which starts on the 26th. I told them not to worry...I'll be admitted on Mon (23rd), have the baby on Tues, get discharged on Wed and we'll be at the conference on Thurs. Now if the baby and my body will only cooperate. ;o)

Friday I took Carrie and Liz into visit my cousin with me. We ended up heading out to the casino and had a blast. The girls stayed at my sister's house while we were gone. I'd called Tom and asked him if it was ok and how much could I have. I asked for $30, he told me to take $50. (slots use a card, not coins or tokens) He then lectured me about if I get up to $100 to cash out and put half in my pocket and continue playing. I told him I KNEW how to do it! What I didn't tell him was knowing and doing are two separate things.

I'd only been down there once before and I pretty much stuck to my dad and watched him play the tables during that visit. So wasn't comfy there. My sister, cousin and I found the nickle Wheel of Fortune slots and lucked out as someone left shortly after we walked up. My cousin sat down and we stood watching her. Her first spin...she won $100!!!! The machine next to my cousin opened up and my sister jumped on. I stood watching. Finally my sister asked if I wanted to take over her machine and I jumped on. Within 3 spins I was $100 up. My sister was NOT happy and said she was charging me a $50 seat charge! LOL Did I do what Tom told me?!?! Of course NOT! First of all it hadn't been 10mins into playing, secondly if I got up...I woulda lost the machine! (there were only 5 in the whole place). So I sat there. Going up and down. Decided to take a break when my sister came back and I was getting close to my original $50. I told her we were even on the seat charge after she hit a few times as soon as she sat down.

We all pretty much decided to quit about the same time. Some of us because our cards were empty. Some of us because we could walk out with a few extra $$. I won't say which end I was on. There's talk of a daytime trip down there again. As we left I said...I am SO glad I don't live closer to this place then I do. I know I have the type of personality that could easily have a problem there! :o)

Saturday was mild out temperaturewise. I told my cousin I wouldn't be in, that I had to get some work done around the house. So I worked around the house and even got into my room some more! Michelle and the boys had planned on going in and seeing my cousin's oldest "A" (who is a few weeks younger then Michelle) for the night since A was leaving for home on Sunday. (has a job interview to go to). It didn't work out and Michelle had NO way of getting in there. So I took her, Liz and Carrie in. I was sooooo tired!

I had the girls grab a few garbage bags of laundry and throw it in the car. I'm so behind in it. First I put it off because of the heat and humidity. Then my dryer started acting up and I couldn't do it unless I was hanging it. I haven't been home long enough to get any loads on and off the line...so that didn't work out. I stayed at my parents WAAAAAY to long, mostly because I was waiting for the laundry. We got home about 3ish. This is Deja Vu since my dryer wasn't working right before I had Danielle either. Looks like we'll be heading to the laundromat sometimes this week....I HAVE to wash baby clothes (or do it at my mom's I guess)

I've been dragging all day today. Although I did manage to get out the door and head over to church for the afternoon. I hadn't been in a few weeks and I really wanted to get there before the baby was born. Not sure if I'll be able to make the meeting and get to my mom's in time for the show next week...so it was this week or none. I'd planned on taking Luke, Jake, Eileen and Olivia into my mom's for a visit today. BUT I knew I HAD to have a nap or I'd fall over. I also had to wait for Pat to get home from work with the car. He didn't get out until after 7pm and by then I felt it was too late. I called to tell everyone I wouldn't be in and found out most of them weren't there anyways...they went to my uncle's house for dinner. So we're home now. (and I had an opportunity to update here).

I'm not sure what I'm doing tomorrow. It's Eileen's 9th birthday so we'll definitely do something for that. She wants to go in and see my cousin. Pat has to work so if I want the car I have to drop him off by 10 and pick him up at 5, which isn't too bad. Just not sure if I want to do it or not. I should head to the store since we're out of milk and down to the last bit of TP. My mom is freaking out on me, insisting I STOP and take it easy, says my dad's worried about me pushing myself too hard. I don't think I am, it seems like this time of the year it's nonstop no matter what's going on. Oh well, one persons busy is another's vacation. ;o)

Times flying again

I can't believe I haven't been in here since Friday. Each day seems to fly by which I know can be a good thing in the last month of pregnancy. When you're not ready though, it's not so great. Seems like everything we did last week is getting undone already. It's been too hot and humid to really do too much so we've been taking it easy, and it's showing.

I had my sister's 3 girls (J, A, and E) here this last weekend. I couldn't give them the excitement that my sister did for my girls...but I think they had fun. Until my sister came to pick them up, then you'd have thought they spent the weekend on a deserted island. lol Amazing phenomenon.

Friday night Tom had a fire for the kids. He had the disco tunes cranked and most everyone was dancing (I was enjoying my rear in the lawn glider). They also got to do a ton of sparklers. BIL B loaded them up with snacks. They stayed up WAAAAAY too late. I heard little feet running down the hall at 2am and had to shooo the little girls back up into bed.

Saturday I mentioned that it was 07/07/07 which was a good reason for a party. The big girls decided that since Liz hadn't had a friend's birthday party they'd throw her one that day. They planned and cooked dinner, made a cake, picked flowers and laid out a tablecloth on the picnic table. Then they dressed up in prom dresses and played basketball. Liz was upset because she couldn't find the camera she just bought the week before (with birthday money). When the girls announced it was time to open presents she was surprised to receive....a almost new digital camera!!! LOL Mystery solved. Unfortunately the activities took a hit when at dinner it was decided that J was coming down with pink eye. By late night she looked and felt terrible. Luckily I had drops here from when we had it 2wks ago.

Sunday J woke up still not feeling so great but she didn't want her mom to come pick her up....so I waited to call my sister. Some ibuprofen and claratin seemed to ease things up a bit. Most of the day the kids spent in and out of the pool. My sister came and picked up the girls around dinner time. They were all shot and looked like they needed a nap.

Monday was spent mostly trying to stay cool. Temps were in the mid 90s with really high humidity. SIL D and I headed out to the store since I was out of a lot of important things. Unfortunately before we could get to the store we broken down! D called AAA and then her son to come pick us up. Then M, one of the boys from church drove by in his truck with a few other kids. They pushed us off the busy road. I switched places with one of D's boys. Fortunately M didn't mind taking me to Walmart so I could at least get the essential things. Him and N even helped me unload the truck when we got to my house. :o) Heat and breathingwise was ok until dinner time, then I couldn't breathe in the house. I headed out the door to sit with Tom and BIL B. I was VERY thankful for the A/C unit in my bedroom when it came time for bed. I know I survived many a summers like this with other pregnancies. Still I do NOT want to have to think about dealing with the humidity and trying to sleep.

Tuesday I woke up with PINK EYE! Oh joy! The kids were fooling around saying I couldn't hold the new baby now. Carrie also woke up with poison ivy all over her face, hands, belly and legs. So into the peds we go. We didn't want to give her prednisone because it sends her sugar levels through the roof. So we opted for a prescription steriod cream and a back up of low dose prednisone if the cream didn't help enough (face was swelling as we sat there....hate when it heads for the eyes). My sister called and told me that J is almost over with pink eye but also has poison ivy. A and E had just gotten the pink eye but the drops I sent home were helping.

Today is Tom's birthday! Poor guy isn't getting too much of a party. We're considering having a cookout on the weekend though. Depends on how the house cleans up in the next few days. The little kids spent most of the morning making him cards. Eileen and Olivia just took a box up into their room and came down with "presents" for him. I'm sure he'll be tickled.

I was suppose to go into my mom's tonight. My cousin from Florida was suppose to land at 7pm and is staying at my parents' house for the next 10 days. We talk often on the phone, so most of the visit will be centered around spending time with me and my family. I told her she might even be able to be here when the baby is born! :o) I said SUPPOSE to go in bwecause now her flight has been delayed until 10:30pm tonight. So doesn't make sense for me to drive 45mins to visit for an hour or so. They'll probably be exhausted anyways. I won't be able to get into my mom's until tomorrow night.

Tommorrow is my 37wks dr appt! Luke and Jake are the guests for the event. If Dr B is there I assume we'll discuss when we'll be thinking of starting my induction. I hope he decides to do a sono so we can figure out position (I can't tell this time!) and approx weight. Plus I like to get peeks of my babies. I've missed my weekly BPP (biophysical profiles) like I had with Danielle's pg.

Today I got a little bit emotional. Again nothing specific, just a bunch of stuff like last week. Mostly that time is flying and I'm not as ready as I'd like to be (and normally am) by now. I keep trying to remind myself that no matter what, we'll survive. As long as the baby and I get through delivery fine (not that I anticipate we won't) is the only thing that matters in the end. Everything else is just icing on the cake.

Oh I never mentioned that my mom bought tickets for herself, my sister, a few aunts and me to see the musical Menopause. She went to see it on June 24th and loved it so much that she wants us to go. The tickets are for the show on the 22nd. I told her I couldn't promise that I could make it but I'd love to go. She says you start laughing from the first song and don't stop until the end. So now she wants me to tell DR B that he can't induce me until the 23rd. That I need to relax and have a good bellylaugh before this baby is born. She also assured me that she could find someone to take my place if I HAVE to miss it. :o) I found out later that a few of the women from church are thinking of going to see it also.

Well need to go start Tom's birthday dinner (whatever it's going to be... probably tacos) Will update Thurs or Fri night about my dr appt.

Out the door, nothing accomplished at home

Eileen, Olivia and I were out the door shortly after 10 for my OB appt (36wks). I wondered if they want to do cultures or not and they did. Eileen was SO embarrassed about the whole thing. Dr B was at the hospital so I was able to see the MW. :o) I think if Dr B had been there and done the cultures it would've been too much for Eileen to handle. lol My weight stayed the same from last week. My blood pressure as 122/80. I didn't bring my sugar numbers in because....I CAN'T find my glucometer since Tues night or Wed morning!!!! My backup meter is giving me really freaky numbers that can't be right. Since Dr B wasn't there we couldn't discuss whether I should be planning an induction in 2wks or not. Hmmmm maybe Dr B can be at the hospital EVERY week when I have appts and it'll never be planned. Then I'd can go on my own!!! (Hey a girl can dream!) Going back in in a week. We didn't schedule a sono like Dr B had mentioned the previous week, so not sure what'll happen with that. Would be nice to know the baby's position, approx size and whatnot.

I got the girls in to get throat cultures done. It's been bothering Eileen a lot since Tues. Olivia isn't complaining but talks like she has a sore throat. If I recall correctly the last time the girls spent the night at my sister's they came down with strep a few days later. I'm just hoping if it is strep that we can keep it contained to the girls and be done with it quickly. Do NOT want to welcome this little guy into a house of sick kids.

Our next stop was lunch. When I took the first group to my appt with me (oldest girls). I made the mistake of taking them out for chinese. So now each group wants to also go there. Poor me chinese buffet at least once a week. Would be nice if I didn't get so full so quickly. Oh well, it's not like we're doing a ton of stuff for summer vacation. So might as well treat them when we are out. I was happy since they buffet had lots of different veggie combos on it. It's nice when you've been looking forward to zucchini (not getting it from the garden yet) and find it all cooked up for you there. YUM!

We were tight for time because Pat needed the car for work. So we skimmed the Salvation Army thrift store quickly. I found 2 upholstered and chrome kitchen chairs for $12 which we really need!!! Trying to get them into the tiny Tercel was a joke and a half....especially in the rain! I can't describe how they ended up fitting but let's just say it was interesting. The girls were not amused, they thought I was going to crash having to drive with chair legs under my armpits. I also bought the girls some shirts and 4 sleepers...2 NB size terry ones (yellow and blue), 2 0-3mos or 3mos size...yellow...one with ducks and the other striped.

By the time I finished wrestling chairs into the car we had 45mins in Walmart. I KNEW it wasn't enough time and I should've just went home. Thing is, I really wanted to get some containers so I could take care of my fabric. So we ran but not fast enough. For the baby I bought 2 blankets...a double layered cotton one, a cheap fleece one, a 6pk of newborn socks, a 3pk of sleepers, and a pair of 0-3mos soft shoes that were clearanced. I'm going to check through my things again and see about a jacket/sweater. It's the only thing I feel that's needed now. Although I'm pretty sure it'll be pretty warm out when he's born, so the blankets might be enough. It's not like I'm delivering in Nov without one. Plus he'll be swaddled for at least a week or so. Thinking about packing stuff for him I wondered what his going home outfit would be. I don't really have a special thing for him to wear like I have with the others. (poor 12th kid...neglected already!) Do you think his psyche will be messed up if I take him home in just a cute onsie and not a little man outfit? ;o)

So now we're suppose to be half way home and we're not even in the car yet. UGH! I hate running against the clock all the time! We get out into the parking lot and can't find the tiny Tercel. It's so much easier with my huge van! We meander through the parking lot a bit and Eileen is getting freaked out. She says...my stomach doesn't feel good and I only get like this when I'm nervous. I'm trying to calm her and not blow up because after all Pat's waiting for us. Finally I figured out we went in the OTHER entrance and the car is on the opposite side of the lot. We then find it immediately. I load things in and take off as "legal" as possible. Needless to say we left Pat with not enough time. I think he was a few minutes late. I'm left feeling really bad until I realize...WAIT!!! It's not MY fault he got in the accident with our green car and doesn't have anything to drive!!!

The kids bring in what I bought. I kick a kid out of my computer chair and rip off my bra (it's really been bugging me lately!!!) I keep thinking about all that work I was going to do when I got home. It's not getting done for some reason. About an hour or so after I get home the phone rings...it's SIL D. She wants to know if I want to take my little kids (who aren't going to the youth meeting) to the County Fair with her and her little kids. Ride tickets are only $1 each. So I have the kids round up their cash/change, put my bra back on, get Danielle changed and we're out the door again...waiting for D to pick us up.

We had a good time. We got a lot of stares with 2 strollers and 10 kids walking around us...oldest being almost 12. (only 3 walking were mine lol) One guy yelled as we walked by..you better be babysitting!!! LOL I let the kids go on 4 or 5 rides each...Jake lucked out and got to go on an extra one...so I only spent $13. We were blessed with TWO different people giving us tickets as they were leaving...first one gave us 4, the 2nd one gave us 6. We did the same as it got dark. We were down to 2 tickets with little kids who were ready to head home. I hope the lady with the 2 little kids appreciated the gesture as much as we did when we were on the receiving end.

D dropped us off, the kids grabbed something to eat and headed to bed. I sat in my computer chair for a bit, realized my hips were killing me, grabbed Danielle and jumped into bed myself. Now I'm staring at all the work that I'd hoped to take care of yesterday. Oh well, not like my sister or her girls haven't seen my house messy. It's cleaner deep down but in spots looks worse then when she was here on Sunday (like a bunch of the litte girls things piled in the livingroom waiting to go up into their new bedroom and all the extra laundry that cleaning bedrooms seems to produce). So I guess I should stop staring at it, thinking about it and DO IT!!!

So WHY am I still here?

Today was a very productive day. My hips are aching and I'm exhausted. So why can't I seem to fall asleep? Maybe because I keep thinking of what else I want to get done. Or will get done. YEP I can now officially say I am nesting. Everywhere I look I see things that need to be done. Things that don't normally bother me are bugging me until I get up and get them done.

Today we.... washed walls, washed a few windows, took apart and changed bedrooms and various other jobs. The girls worked over 8hrs on switching rooms. I had to take apart of the beds and put them back together. The bunks were too much for me and left me in tears, feeling like I was going to barf. So Tom had to finish it. Liz did a LOT of the work....I felt so bad for her by 11pm...she looked like she was going to fall apart. I hope they're all happy now.

I did manage to work in my room for a TINY bit. Unfortunately it looks a lot messier then when I started. We're taking out a hutch and putting in dressers so unloading the hutch has left me with a few more piles that need to be dealt with. I'm hoping we can finish it up tomorrow. I'd really like to get the dressers out of my livingroom!!! I have an appt at the OB's tomorrow so can't work until late afternoon. I just hope I'm not too tired from running around to get at it.

I also need to work on the everyday work which has been slightly ignored. Only a few loads of clothes have gone in (and my hallway is PACKED with waiting laundry) and my kitchen hasn't been touched much. Although the table has been picked up throughout the day. Hey! I did manage to clean a toilet while Danielle was in the tub! :o) Now if only I can get some tub cleaner and scrub that out! lol

I'm looking around the house and trying to figure out if it looks any better then when my sister was here on Sunday. I can't say that it does on the surface just yet. She'll be back here on Friday morning/afternoon to drop off her girls for the weekend. I'm HOPING there's a significant difference by then!!!!

My brother stopped by today to drop off some wood he wanted to get rid of (we'll burn it at a bonfire) Him and the kids had to step over shoes to get in the livingroom. He says to the kids...just step over everything, this is typical. HELLLLLO!?!?! Yes! I always have huge totes of barbies, dollhouse, kitchen play things taking up my livingroom. Oh don't mind the 2 huge plastic dressers in your way...that's always there. We're tearing the place apart and rearranging you ding dong!!!!

He's one that always makes little comments about how easy pregnancy is for me compared to others. That so and so wasn't meant to be birthing kids like Kim and such. It drives me crazy even though Tom tries to point out that they are meant as compliments. OK, maybe they are but I KNOW he'd be the first one to say...well what do you expect? It's your fault for having so many kids....If I complained about how hard pg was for me. Or how hard my day in general was. He was really surprised when he was leaving and he asked me...What's the matter? I said oh nothing...I'm just really pregnant. I don't think it ever occurs to him that I might be in pain, uncomfy and whatnot.

OK...it's almost 4am and I really need to get into bed. Have to be out the door by 10am tomorrow. Eileen and Olivia are the tagalongs for the day. Next week is Jake and Luke. Eileen keeps asking if we'll find out what day I'll have the baby at this appt. She really wants to hear it'll be on her birthday. I keep telling them they are SO spoiled! Most people have no idea which week, much less which day they'll have their baby. They expect it all to be planned.

Now that the pity party is over

OK so I wallowed in some self pity for a few days. Monday was a so so day I realized that I hadn't even thought about packing a hospital bag or what I'd need once I was home from the hospital. Val had a dr appt that day and we were planning on going shopping....so I did! I'm now stocked in wipes, sanitary and nursing pads. (had bought a pk of newborn diapers a few weeks ago...they are SO tiny!!!) We looked at nightgowns. I decided it was silly to get one if I'm only going to be in the hospital for 24hrs like after Danielle. BUT I told Michelle, if for some reason (c-section or whatever) I'm in longer...MAKE dad stop and buy me THIS gown! LOL I also bought 3 preemie sized sleeveless rompers. I was a bit reluctant since I have NO idea how big this guy is. But it should fit him for at least the first week. There's nothing sadder then a baby in baggy clothes. ;o)

Yesterday it finally hit me, either I get up and do things or shut up about it! I sorted the basket of baby boy clothes I had. Seems I don't have as many newborn things I thought I did. But I'm still good. Most of it was 6-9mo stuff. I'll resort after I wash everything and reassess what I think I need. I also know that SIL D has some things for me already. Main thing I can think of is a lightweight general blanket and some socks.

Then I hit my room. I've managed to thoroughly clean parts of my room here and there. But I can't remember the last time I gave my room a DEEP cleaning. It's probably before Eileen was born and she'll be 9 soon. It doesn't help that my room is the room where everything no one knows what to do with goes, outgrown clothes intended to be given away and such. At first I just moved things around quite a bit (very inefficient, I know). Then it got down to the nitty gritty and we started throwing things away. (Michelle came in and worked with me) I'm ashamed to admit we took out 6 30gal size trash bags of STUFF. My overflowing baskets of laundry are now HUGE mounds of it. Before going to bed I felt depression start welling up again. With 5+ hrs of work my room still looks like it needs to be picked up. Tom told me that was silly, that I did a LOT of work and should be proud of what we've accomplished. He's right. If only I could figure out how to neatly store all my fabric. It's the biggest mess maker in my room and closet right now. I'm hoping to get in there and finish up today.

Last night in chat someone mentioned me nesting. I said I didn't think I was, or if I was it was a forced one. Either way I've noticed I'm motivated! I'm seeing things I want to get done and am actually planning on doing. (washing windows and walls, cleaning cupboards, reorganizing closets, picking and putting up the cherries on our tree, painting...which I know I'll never get to) Maybe I am nesting. Whatever you call it, I hope it sticks around for a while!

Today is my uncle's big 4th of July party. Everyone is bummed here that we can't go. Our van isn't legal right now. Seems because we bought it from Kentucky and it was salvaged we have to jump through some redtape to get it reregistered. So it's been "off the road" since June 10th. We're (Tom, Pat and I) sharing a tiny Toyota Tercel right now. Gets great gas mileage, especially compared to the van. But I can only take 3 or 4 other people with me. We're managing but it's a huge pain when all anyone wants to do is go and do things for summer vacation. (It's a 2 door and is going to be hard with the new baby and an infant seat) Hopefully things will be straightened out soon and I can have my people mover back.

OK...all this talk about getting and keeping motivated is great. Now to act on it. Tom's up. He was sleeping in after having to go into work at 2am last night. So I can get in my bedroom now. I think it's catching on here. Seems the girls are devising a room change. The only problem is going to be trying to move the huge bunkbed downstairs. I think they can handle the rest.

Is this thing on?

Testing...1...2...3. Hellllloooooo? Where is everyone!?! The birds are up and singing, so why isn't everyone else? LOL Yep, I'm wide awake and bored out of my skull, so excuse my goofiness. I've been awake since about 2:30 or so, laid in bed for an hour and couldn't take it anymore. So here I am!

Laying in bed I got to thinking...in all my hormonal, poor me, funk. I never talked about what the baby was doing most of the afternoon while I was on edge. He was rolling, kicking, squirming and poking. A lot of it was deep inside but it was all over. There were times when my belly would just be rolling and rolling. I almost said something to Tom on our drive to his friend's house, but greedy me kept it to myself. Of course now the little guy has slowed down and I'm left wondering...is he ok? Why was he so active before and is quiet now? When was the last time he moved? Luckily he usually obliges me and lets me know things are still ok in there. :o)

Sometimes being a mature, experienced pg lady has it's drawbacks. Like knowing that everything isn't a given. I've had miscarriages...I know getting pg and staying pg isn't always guaranteed. I've had 4 people I know personally who have had babies born silent...one at 26wks, the rest between 38-42wks. I know someone who's youngest has cerebral palsy. So even though my amnio said there's no problems...I know I'm not in the clear. And of course there's Carrie, who proves that even though things are perfect and the baby's perfect. Things can change at a moments notice...but that can happen with any of my kids. Oh to be in my 20s when being pg wasn't too much of a blip on the radar, had my babies "worryfree", expected to be pg again within a year or so and that was that. Then again, maybe I prefer this way...it's makes them all so much more special...the miracle that they are. Something to REALLY be appreciated. (don't get me wrong...I still loved, felt blessed and appreciated my babies when I was younger...just in a different way)

Stuck in a hormonal funk

Today is one of those pregnant days I hate. When hormones are running high and someone saying hi brings on the tears. I cried for almost the whole day and still feel on the verge of it. Of course Tom was concerned and kept asking me what was wrong. He doesn't get that it's a lot of everything and a bunch of nothing.

Tom and I drove over to his friend's house to pick up our van. Getting out of the house did me good but I still cried the entire 30mins to the house. I tried to explain to Tom that I'm frustrated at how little I can accomplish around here. That my body won't cooperate. That everyone has been so busy that I haven't had too much help. That I'm NOT READY for this little one and time is bearing down on me. I don't even know what I have or don't have for him (have a basket that I've been throwing things that I buy in...have to wash it and go through it still). My plan for the last 2wks was to get my room cleaned this weekend. I didn't even manage to get in there yet! It doesn't help that Tom tends to report all that he's done around the yard. And what he'll be doing next. I know it's just his line of conversation but grrrrr....frustrated lady here who would LOVE to be able to do whatever work she wanted...when she wanted!!!!

This morning reading my pregnancy board had me on edge and brought on the first round of tears. A woman just had a homebirth and there was lots of talk about the difference between pitocin contractions, natural ones and the ones she (and others) have experienced at their homebirth. Labor is NOT something I'm looking forward to. I'm not scared of it but still.... I'd love to have the option of going naturally. I always "threaten" to run away and hide in a cave until labor starts. Reading their experiences makes it seem so easy. I KNOW pitocin contraxs are brutal. I KNOW that what I'm experiencing would and could probably be better/easier if I didn't have to use it. Then there's the uncertainty of whether the baby will do well being born early. To me, who's natural deliveries happened 12-17days overdue....38wks is EARLY! Granted I've done it twice already and everything was fine. LOTS of ladies have their babies that soon. It's still in the back of my mind. I know...be anxious for nothing. I'm trying really I am. At least I'm not sitting here in a puddle of tears anymore. :o)

Well hopefully tomorrow will be an all around better day. Val has a dr appt so I'm not expecting to get too much work done. There is a bit of work to do though if the kids expect their cousins to spend the weekend. (my sister's 3 girls). Danielle is cuddling into my shoulder wanting to go to bed. So that's what we'll do. Maybe I'll even get some more reading in before my eyes close (read a couple chapters last night like I wanted to!)

What's that you hear?

That's right...SILENCE! Friday Liz, Carrie, Eileen and Olivia went to my sister's house for the weekend. Drew's house sitting for Tom's baby brother. Pat's in Lake George with Jess's family. Jake was down the nature trail campign with BIL By. Luke was out fishing with some boys from church. Danielle was sleeping. That left Michelle and Val who asked me for a ride to someone's house for a birthday party. I happily obliged, giddy with happiness at the thought of Tom and I home alone with NO ONE home!!! (sleeping babies don't count) I can't remember the last time that's happened. The girls and I jumped in the car, I hurried them there and got home as fast as I legally could. The whole time I was driving I was trying to think what special meal I could make for us. I walk in the door and find.....Tom out cold next to Danielle in our bed!!! Waaaaaaaaaaah! So now it's just me all alone in the house...not so fun. I don't care to be alone...I'm gregarious by nature. At least I still had the TOK chat to visit.

Today's weather was BEAUTIFUL! Unfortunately I didn't get outside to enjoy it. I had decided I was going to get some work done in the house, namely my room. I started sorting and doing laundry in the hall instead. That's about as far as I got. No one was cooperating with me. They all had things that needed to be done and I NEED HELP! How am I suppose to move a dresser all by myself. Or bend over and pick things up off the floor. I can't breathe and feel like I'm going to barf when I bend. IT'S NOT FAIR!!! PG LADIES SHOULD GET SPECIAL TREATMENT!!! Who raised these barbians anways?

At least my breathing problems eased up. So it was the heat and humidity that was giving me problems. I can't say that the baby is any lower. For the first time I kept getting poked along the ribcage. I like to "gross" the little girls out by having them come over and feel the hard bump (whatever it is) sticking out/up. Of course they are in a giggling fit as they complain how gross it is. And they can't stop themselves from being pulled into it again and again. :o)

So now I'm sitting here in a quiet house again. Luke, Jake, and Danielle are in bed. Michelle's vegging in her room, probably in front of her computer or a movie. Val's gone off to a friend's house. Tom's outside, I think with his brother. (could be enjoying some solitude out there...I'm not about to mosey out there to find out). It's amazing how the dynamics of the house change with kids gone. Usually just one makes a difference. Having seven of them gone at once is HUGE! Guess I should get used to it...they'll be moving out permanently soon enough.

I have high hopes for tomorrow, as usual. I really feel like I won't be able to relax about this birth until my room is clean. I NEED to get it done. It's not even a desire anymore but a need. (I know, I know...not really. But indulge a pg lady for once) If no one can or does help tomorrow I may have to take drastic measures here.

I did something I don't normally do this week. I splurged and bought myself some lotions at Bath & Body Works. I couldn't resist a tiny bottle of lemon and verbana that was clearanced for $1.25. I'm addicted! I'm trying to not use it all before I go into labor. It smells so nice that I think it would help me relax and calm my stomach if it gets queasy. Then again I could be totally repulsed by it once I'm in labor. Then I guess I can try my Grapefruit Lotion which is also yummy....although not AS yummy as the lemon and verbana. At least the grapefruit bottle is quite a bit bigger so I don't have to worry about running out of that anytime soon.

I'm not really sure why but I'm feeling the need to be pampered now. For the first time EVER I've been thinking about a pedicure and manicure for myself. Of course I'm always wishing someone would offer me a massage....especially on my, on the verge of cramping legs. But the hands and feet thing....not my style and usually not anywhere on my radar. I could see if I'd been running myself ragged, feeling neglected or misused. But I've been taking it really easy, almost to the point of slothfulness. Tom and I have been having it really good too. So WHY the need now?

Oh well, I'm going to try to not dwell on it too badly. I think I'll head off to a shower, slather myself in lotion and climb into bed. Even though I don't feel so sleepy. Maybe I'll take a book with me...haven't done that in a while. (Cause Tom's usually sleeping way before me)

Here's to a productive day tomorrow!!!

24yrs ago....

Tom and I had just gotten married!!! It was a Tuesday night, 2 days after my high school graduation and party. We used leftovers from my grad party for our wedding buffet, SIL made our cake, a neighbor made Italian wedding cookies and my dad bought some champagne. PERFECT! I woudln't do it any differently even after all these years. Now if I could just get my kids to do it just as frugally. ;o)

We moved our wedding date from Aug 22nd to June 28th for 2 reasons. We got sick of fighting everyone over the details of our big wedding we were planning. My dad had given me 2 options...big wedding and no present. Small wedding and a monetary gift. We needed the money for a downpayement for our mobile home so changed our minds and took the cash. :o)

Was fun watching everyone count the months on their hands when Drew was born 2 days short of our 10mo anniversary. (and he was 15days overdue!!! AF arrived on the last day of our honeymoon). They were all sure I was lying about why we moved the date up and that I was pg when we got married.

Unfortunately we're not doing anything for our anniversary today. Tom's over at a friend's working on the van. It broke down on the way to my dad's birthday party Tuesday evening. I'm waiting on the kids to call to be picked up from the youth meeting. Not sure if we'll do anything this weekend either. Although some girls are going to my sister's for the weekend (I get her girls the following weekend). But I think we're going to an anniversary party for another couple on Sat. Hopefully we'll find time eventually to do something...at least dinner out.

Another week, another dr appt... 35wks

So much for that 6lb weight loss. I gained back 2lbs which didn't surprise me. It's been really hot and muggy here and my feet are paying the price for it. I'm also having a hard time breathing which I thought was due to being muggy out. BUT when the nurse was hooking up the fundal monitor to me today she made the comment "OMG! You're WAY up here today!" (ontop of my sternum) So maybe this little guy decided to cooperate, turned from transverse to HOPEFULLY head down position and is all stretched out. I guess once the humidity goes away tomorrow we'll see how easy it is to breathe. Easy....it was the heat. Still difficult...it's the position of the baby.

There's nothing newsworthy to report about my NST so that's good. I did ask the dr if things continue like they are (blood pressure and diabetes under control) is there a possibility of being allowed to go further then 38wks. He gave me that...you know the answer to that question...look. Then proceeded to tell me that some are advising drs to wait until 39wks to induce diabetics and high blood pressure patients. That'd take me to the last week of July. I was planning on being over at church for the summer conference then so we'll see. Don't get me wrong...I want to wait until the last possible minute to have this baby. I'd LOVE it if they allowed me to go on my own. I haven't done that since my water broke with #5 Luke, and then #2 Pat's delivery before that. It's just that the kids are a bit bummed that they might miss the family fun week...after all it is FUN! I'm headed back in to the dr's on July 5th for another NST. I believe the week after that I'm due for a sono! Woohooo!

Busy weekend....

I had a plan and I wanted to see it done! This place has falling apart and I really want to get things in order before the baby gets here. So the plan is...

This weekend... Get the kids bedrooms taken care of. The older kids already do that so we concentrated on the littler ones. Val helped Luke and Jake....Michelle helped Eileen and Olivia. Carrie got out of cleaning her room because Liz was gone for the weekend (helping with the food at the band weekend). So I had Carrie helping me, flitting around, doing a lot things but really getting nothing accomplished. The boys managed to get their room finished (except maybe vacuuming a few cobwebs). The girls...only about 75% done. Even I helped in there...it was a HUGE mess. We have to downsize the things in there, there's just too much stuff to get all over. I have a plan for it but not sure when I can implement it. Hopefully we'll finish their room tomorrow morning.

This week...We'll get the main living areas taken care of. They've already started since school has been out. What I really want to do is deep down stuff, not just everyday pick up and sweep. It shouldn't take too long and hopefully the weather will cooperate (meaning won't bake us in our livingroom)

Coming weekend...hit my room. It's the room that everyone uses when they don't know what to do with something. I've hit it here and there but it needs a LOT of work. I'll need help for sure in there...hauling stuff out, rearranging things, etc. I was hoping to get it painted before the baby came but I don't know if that's reasonable. (it's the only room that hasn't been painted since we built this place)

Next week....the basement!!!! Again the collect all place. This time for things that are huge or no one really cares about. If you want to keep something, the basement is not the place....it's damp and musty down there. Most of the stuff will probably need to go out the door. It's just a matter of finding the time and having help available when you do have the time. Personally I'd be happy if we could just park a dumpster outside a window and start trashing. I know not the greatest attitude but it will make life a lot easier to be rid of things.

We've been dealing with pink eye all week. Carrie started it with Danielle, Eileen and Olivia following. We stayed home from church today even though most of the families have had it (or have it). It's where we got it. I still don't feel right bringing contagious kids in public. Plus I didn't want to break the momentum we had going toward the house. Can't say that today was as productive as yesterday but at least things did get accomplished. I just wish someone walking in my house could see it. Think anyone would mind if I ran up to them with a pillowcase in my hand, screaming....HERE SMELL! Doesn't it smell great!?!? Don't you just love bedding after it's been hung out to dry! I did a zillion loads of it this weekend! LOL

Pregnancywise I'm suffering a bit. It's not the heat, it's HEARTBURN!!! I woke up 3 times last night and needed to grab my antacid bottle. My sciatica was also acting up by the time I was done working last night. It hadn't hurt me that bad since the middle of May. Yes, my sciatica actually decided to give me a break and behave. It seems that I haven't really had much pain since the soccer weekend which was mid May. Luckily today wasn't so bad. It's something I can work through. I can't believe I'm almost done baking this little guy. I am so not ready to be done with this pregnancy. I want to keep him to myself for a lot longer. Plus I have to admit I'm a bit intimidated at the thought of dealing with a almost 2yo and newborn alone. I know...I've done it over and over again...even some closer together and with more of them. I just feel out of practice and shape.

Yeah I'm so proud of myself. I managed to post again in the same week! I'm liking this again. :o) Now you'll wish I stayed hidden. lol

I'm here and everything is OK!

I really am perplexed why it's taken me so long to update here. Everyday I wake up intending to do it. It just never seemed to get done. So now I'm writing before I head to bed so I don't have to start the cycle all over again.

Things are really going well. Michelle's been done with classes about a month. The rest of the kids have one half day of school left on Thurs...let SUMMER VACATION BEGIN! The pool is up and running although I'm not keeping up on it as well as I normally do. That means we've had a few bouts of green water here and there.

Val went to the prom in mid May with her boyfriend J. Here's my favorite pic of them.



Pregnancywise things are going well too. I had a week or two that had me worried. My blood pressure was up and I thought I was headed to bedrest. Luckily we upped my meds and it helped. Although today at the dr's it was up a bit again. The dr is still ok with it. I'll have to restart monitoring it better at home again. My sugar has been ok. I've been at the same amount of insulin for a few weeks. My numbers aren't as great as they were with Danielle's pregnancy but they are acceptable. I hit my highest weight ever last week after gaining 5lbs 2 wks ago and 3lbs last week. This week I seemed to have lost 6 of those pounds though. Don't ask my why or how...I have no clue. But I'll take it! :o) The heat has gotten to me for the first time this week. Monday it was in the high 80s which isn't so bad but the humidity made it unbearable. Tuesday was in the mid 90s and humid. Needless to say I didn't do or move much that day. Amazingly my ankles didn't disappear or explode though. Today it was a very nice day in the 70s with a breeze to boot. If I could have a week of days like that and a houseful of kids to help me...we could get this place in tiptop shape in no time. I'm really trying to work on getting things done and ready for the arrival of the little guy. Right now the present thought is I have 4wks to go (will be 38wks). Technically it could be less then that. TICK TOCK, TICK TOCK.

I had Liz take new belly pics of me today. I love the first pic, it's too cute! Liz was trying to get a front shot when Danielle came running up, grabbed my legs, looked at Liz and said CHEEEEEZE! LOL

Belly shots...33w6d



I think I'm as big as I was in my last belly pic of Danielle's pg

Oh and I didn't forget! (unlike other past years) I bought a cake while out shopping today. It is Carrie's 10th anniversary of her bone marrow transplant. It's amazing to think that much time has gone by. Then othertimes it seems like 10 lifetimes ago. I was the only one to remember it which is fine by me. It means that things are going well. She's doing really good, just wish she'd remember to take her meds better! I felt horrible last week after I resorted to scare tactics to get my point across. No one, much less a 12yo should have to worry about losing body parts or getting hooked up to machines (dialysis) inorder to survive. STUPID DIABETES!!!

PHEW! Managed to get SOMETHING out there afterall. I'm heading to bed and will really really try to keep things up to date here. Especially as I get closer and closer to welcoming our new little guy into the family.