Wednesday, August 02, 2006

Funeral

I tried to stay in bed past the alarm clock going off. I pushed the envelope on the time but I did ok. The fruit salad took about an hour to make up and I woke the kids about 7:45. The kids were exhausted and some were really difficult to wake. I had to get ugly when they were still in bed at 8:15! I realized just how lucky I have it with only Danielle who can't get herself ready. I had to do hair and whatnot but it was still a lot easier then if I'd had to help dress them (like D had to do). Tom got a phone call from his baby brother and had to deal with some things before leaving. We left about 15mins after we'd planned and hit some construction we weren't aware of. Luckily we still made it with 2mins to spare. Allison and her car full (Drew, Pat, Jess and nephew Joey) were a tiny bit late.

One of the brothers from our church spoke, some nieces sang a song and then Tom and his siblings each had a chance to speak. They all did great and it was nice to hear from them. I had to get up and stand to the side with Danielle. I noticed Carrie and my niece were pretty overcome with the whole thing. I had Drew grab me some tissues, went over, gave them some tissues and sat with them. It seemed to help, I hope it did. As were getting ready to leave I heard BIL tell the funeral director....If there's a garage sale on the way, you have to stop. Someone made the comment...you won't have a choice. The hearse will pull over for it whether the driver wants to or not. Grandma's will is too strong. :o)

We had about a 25 mile trip to take in the procession. It's so nerve wracking! Especially nowadays. People are so ignorant to the etiquette of funeral processions. Being a self absorbed society with not patience doesn't help. Neither does the fact that the streets are a zillion times busier now. It also didn't help that my kids are older and are driving themselvs. I found myself worried that they weren't going to be bold enough to go through the lights. That someone wouldn't know what was going on and T-bone them at full speed. Luckily most of the traffic was respectful, so maybe we're not THAT bad of a society. Someone honked because the cars ahead weren't going when there was a green light. And a lady merged into the line infront of my nephew (who was ahead of me). The light turned red, she stopped, nephew went around her in a turning lane and I laid on the horn. She went through the light and pulled onto the side of the road, letting the rest of us continue. (there were only about 5 or 6 cars behind me)

It was HOT at the graveside! We sang a song, the brother from church spoke again and then the spouses of the kids were given a chance to speak. When it was my turn I wanted to speak forever, tell stories and how much she meant to everyone. Instead I tried to keep it short. I'm not sure exactly what I said to tell you the truth. I just know it didn't feel like enough. I'll have another opportunity to speak about her at her church feast. The grandkids all had roses and laid them on her casket.

She's buried in the cemetary in our village. I'm going to talk to some of Tom's sibs and see if they mind if I plant some things up there. I can make it so there is almost always something growing. I have most of it in my garden already. I was thinking crocuses, daffodils, irises, glads and not positive on the fall things...maybe make that an annual of paper daisies...they last a long time. Maybe a spot or two of flag grass so that there's green even in the winter.

From the graveside we went to the American Legion for a reception. BIL did a good job as always. There was lots of food and talking. It was great to be inside a place that had A/C. I kept making the kids come back in and play in there. As soon as they'd go out they'd be soaked in sweat and red faced. It was a bit loud with all the kids playing in there. FIL seemed to tolerate it well.

FIL and BIL brought their 2 dogs. They don't like to keep them alone too long. Anyways they were MILs babies for the last 12 years (one of them was our dog Shadow's sister..she's a chocolate lab) It was one of my neice's birthday days so we all sang Happy Birthday. I sang it through tears because in the back of the room was the chocolate lab singing along with everyone. MIL always made it a point to call everyone on their birthday and have the dog sing them Happy Birthday.

We started to clean up and I wanted to make everyone stay. I didn't want it to end. Even though I was exhausted I felt like it wouldn't be bearable without having something to do. I wanted to stay busy and keep visiting. Once we were home though I was glad to be home. I realized that I was totally exhausted. I couldn't imagine how Tom felt. We spent the night trying to not melt. I grilled burgers and we hung outside until the mosquitoes found us, then I had to take Danielle inside.

I still find myself wondering if the ringing phone is MIL. I'm sure Tom will be hit tomorrow. He's returning to work (for 2 days then he has a week's vacation!) Usually he stops by his parent's house once a day to say hi, get a cup of coffee, maybe a bite to eat. It'll hit him hard then I'm sure. I wish I could be a tiny mouse in his pocket so I could be there with him.

2 comments:

Dot said...

Thinking of you Kim, hope you are all healing.

Dot

Lisa said...

I'm saying a prayer for you and family.