A MUCH better day!

Thanks for the hugs, it helps. Friday was a much better day. We were busy but didn't seem to accomplish too much here. Most of it was the girls getting ready for their camping trip. We headed out the door about 3'ish, got to the campgrounds at 3:15, signed into the site and set up their tent. By the time we were done it was going on 5 and I was drenched in sweat. The little ones wanted to go to the beach. I agreed even though I hadn't bothered to bring beach clothes.

We stayed about half an hour and the kids had fun. Danielle was loving just sitting on the shore, letting the waves break over her legs. A few times she started to crawl into the lake. She didn't have much crawling space before it'd be over her face, so there wasn't too much crawling getting done. The kids dug her her own personal pool to sit and play in. She stayed in that for the rest of the time. By the time we were ready to leave the girls had walked from their site down to the beach. I gave them the don't advertise you're staying overnight or where your site is lecture. Told them to call me ANYTIME if they needed me...I'm right down the road. Made sure they had what they needed and then took the little ones home. They were a bit disappointed to miss out on playing at the playground. I just wanted to go home, so was a mean mom and said no.

After the kids went to bed Tom and I had a "discussion" for quite a while. He realizes he was rude to me the day before. He said it's how he is, sees something and just starts talking about it. He'd seen the porkchops on the table and that they had to be put away for started talking about them.

I pointed out that I was also upset because he knew what he'd done, didn't check to see if I was ok after I stormed off, and didn't apologize for doing what he did. I also pointed out that I seem to be one of the few people he does this to. (he says I'm not but I disagree) We seem to go through cycles like this on a regular basis. I feel ignored, neglected, or dissed and blow up. He repents and changes for a while. Old habits start showing up again I get sick of it and blow up again. He's really been in a rotten mood lately. I feel bad for not cutting him some slack since I know he's still grieving...so am I. I'm not sure if anything was resolved. It's a bit frosty around here still, I'll talk to him later today and try to defrost things. Although part of me wishes I didn't have to be the one to "take the first step". I know that I'm the only one I can control in this. If I want things to improve I've got to be willing to put aside the "you owe me and need to start the work on this" and do what needs to be done. It's not good for anyone here to have things so off.

I've been slow to get going today but at least I made a list. LOL The list was room by room of both things that need to be done now (basic cleaning), deep cleaning things and little projects waiting to get done around here. (like putting in hooks for bookbags and recycling bags). As usual to avoid facing the real work I got online and did work here instead. I really need to get off and take care of the real world. I know I'll feel better if I did (actually all of us would). Maybe later I'll cheat...do a bunch of stuff and then write it up here and show off how much I crossed off (don't hold your breath though). The ultimate goal is to get into our bedroom...clean it and make it a cozy retreat.

OK...off to get something done...unlike last time...I WILL do something!